Sunday, January 18, 2015

We All Have Our Roles

I made a soup of chicken and a hell of a lot of garlic and leftover greens from the garden and onions and peppers and carrots and celery and tomatoes and also rice and also lime juice.
On the way into town I stopped on at Publix in to pick up a few things where I ran into Jason's mother and his brother and sister-in-law and darling niece and my boys.
I tell you, my heart about leapt out of my chest. My boys!
It was the oddest thing. Like, "Oh, there you are. I have missed you desperately!"
Also, I will admit that there was an element of jealousy which is completely ridiculous and illogical and yet, there it was.
Owen wrapped himself around me and had things he needed to tell me and Gibson grabbed my hand and studied the scratch on it.
"Mer! You got a boo-boo!" he said. "Did Maurice do that?"
"No," I told him. "A chicken."
Which makes perfect sense in my world. And he understood because he knows my world so well.
Gibson looked to me as if he is also getting sick. He has that sicky-boy look. Watery eyes and he felt a little warm and I hear he has been coughing.
Ah Jeez. Well, no use worrying now. He and his brother are both sturdy boys.
I took Lily some oranges and some NyQuil and some Theraflu and the soup and some bread and she looks so miserable. She cannot get warm.
And quite frankly, I don't want to get this shit. Not because I'm worried about being sick but because I don't want Mr. Moon to get it before his surgery. The world won't come to an end if his surgery has to be postponed but we want it to be done with. And he needs to be well to get surgery and I need to be well to take care of him. To make his ice bags, to give him his pain meds, to bake his chicken pot pie or whatever it is that he will want to eat.

Again- no use worrying now.

And tonight we will have some of the soup as a prophylactic measure. I'll cut up some avocado and chop some cilantro to put on top and it will be good. We saw Jay Leno on the Bill Maher show the other night and he claimed that he never eats soup. That soup is a way to screw you out of a meal. 
Hah! The man with the unbelievable chin has obviously never eaten any of my soup.
I hope that when Lily eats some it warms her up a bit.
I swear, when my kids are sick, I still want to gather them in and take care of them. I would love nothing more than to have her here, to draw her a nice hot bath with lavender and eucalyptus oils in it, to tuck her into clean sheets. To make her egg-in-a-bowl in the morning. To make the couch comfy for her with pillows and comforters and quilts and hand her the remote.

Once a mama...

It is no mystery to me at all why I can't truly sleep unless Maurice is in the bed with us. She is my baby substitute. I can't help it, I need one of those. I kept waking up last night with no cat lying against my side and I finally just got up to go find her. She was asleep in the kitchen and we had a little chat and then she followed me back to bed and I stroked her and petted her until I fell asleep and I doubt I woke up again after that.

Some of us have a great need to tend and nurture and it is nothing more than evolution's way of ensuring the continuing of the species and I know that but I have it and I am glad to have this cat, these chickens, this man, these children, these grandchildren, this yard and garden and house all to tend and nurture as I can.

If I can't breastfeed any more, at least I can make soup.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. The desire to mother our children is primal but so it the desire to be mothered. I have no doubt Lily would not say no to being cared for even if only for a day or two until she has the primal urge to return to her own family.

  2. Oh, I wish I could have had you as my mother, Ms. Moon!

  3. I was thinking what Sylvia said... Your kids and grand kids are lucky and I feel jealous. I too go get my cat when I can't sleep. Oh geez, now it feel sorta down. Now isn't that silly???? I have sniffles Ma Moon. Sweet Jo

  4. The world could use more nurturers. I wonder when that will be realized.

  5. A's comment made me smile and feel sad at once. And yes, I agree with the other commenters that we'd all be better off human beings to have had a mother like you.

  6. I agree with Sylvia! Even when I was at my sickest, I don't remember my mom drawing me a bath with eucalyptus oils!

  7. I understand that little bit of jealousy. When I'd see our first grandchild out with her other grandma, I'd get a little tinge of jealousy. Oddly enough, she'll be 18 in April, and I still get that feeling. And your soup sounds heavenly! Phooey on Jay Leno!

  8. I carry my cat Charlie around and many, many times, I notice I'm "burping" him with that pat pat. Pat pat. Rhythm. Even those who aren't mothers, sometimes have that mother thing I guess!

    I would give him up for some of that soup, though. Well, maybe.

  9. what does leno know anyways?

    says the person who just made 18 bean chicken chili....which was supposed to be soup but got way too thick.

    i hope no one gets sick!


  10. Soup is one of my favorite things to make and eat. You and my Indy would be a great pair. Indy doesn't go a day without complaining about some ailment. I never know what to do with her.

  11. I understand every word of this intensely. I truly understand how you just want to gather Lily up and take care of her. And even though I don't yet have grandchildren, I understand that twinge of jealousy too! You are a wonderful mother and in this way you have made our world such a better place.


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