That picture is not from the hurricane. It is from right this second. I think we're getting more rain now than we did during the storm. It is POURING DOWN.
Y'all- it's been a ride.
Like I said, the storm itself wasn't bad at all for us. I mean, it was bad enough to take down trees and take out power for most of Leon and Jefferson Counties. Leon is where Tallahassee is, Jefferson is where we are. The sheriff's office in Jefferson County is saying that it's going to take a week or two to get everyone's power back on. Now, because we have the generator, I'm not worried for us.
Well, that's a lie because I worry about everything and worrying about a massive piece of equipment that provides electricity for our entire house is a more appropriate thing to worry about than most of the shit I worry about.
BUT, most of the people around here do not have a generator or if they do, it's a small one that can keep their refrigerators powered and perhaps allow the use of a few lights and a fan. Many people have wells that they depend on for their water and that requires electricity to pump it so it's not just power they are doing without- it's water, too. Which is worse.
Shit is real.
I never posted last night because very soon after I posted yesterday after the storm, our internet connection went out. And of course our cell reception was almost nil. I could walk to the church yard next door and make a call or text but not from here. That came back stronger last night so we didn't feel quite as isolated. But somehow the lack of internet just about killed me. I had no idea I was this addicted. I think that part of that is the fact that I am so fully reliant on my routine and a good part of that involves wifi capability. And even before the storm I had been experiencing anxiety. A bad case of it, and yesterday it increased incrementally to the point where I felt sick with it and then it crossed over into crying and, well, it was not pretty.
But I slept. I slept and I slept and I slept. And woke up, crying again. However, as the day progressed, I began to feel less anxious, less depressed, and then magically the internet reappeared and I feel so much better now and am wondering what the fuck, Mary? What was that all about?
I guess they don't call it crazy for nothing.
I was having a hard time even reading but I could sit down and listen to a mindless podcast and work on my jigsaw puzzle for periods of time. That helped.
All of my children except for Lily got electricity back before dark last night. Lily lives in a fairly distant part of Leon County, not so far from here, at the end of a long dirt road. The kids are with their dad who does have power so they're okay.
Again- we are so lucky.
The story is simple. The first time I was ever aware of this plant was when I was living with an amazing woman right after I had moved to Tallahassee and Abelia grew in our yard. She told me how much she loved it with its browns and pinks and whites and I saw it through her eyes and found it beautiful. I have ever since. And the thing was, is that when I was living with that woman I was in one of the darkest depressions of my life at the age of nineteen. It had been going on for months and months and I had no idea what was wrong with me and it was so hard to find anything that I found beautiful.
But Paula gave the Abelia's beauty to me and she she shared her home and her joy and her laughter and her constant enthusiasm about life, and loved me despite my darkness.