Good And Evil And Truly Unimportant

Look! The freezes did not kill all of my camellia buds. That's the bush out front with the flowers the ants love. I picked some and brought them in anyway, along with another blossom I picked on the only camellia that was growing in this yard when we moved here.

I do love that green vase. I am just now realizing at this late stage of my life that along with bags and baskets and bowls, I also love vases very much. I cannot resist a good vase at a thrift store. It makes perfect sense. I feel very tender and loving when it comes to things that hold things. 
Hands are on that list as well. 

I did a little check-in in the backyard too where lo and behold, there are opening buds. 

All is not lost! 

It's been a lazy day today. First off I slept so late that I'm not sure why Glen didn't come to check on me. Or Maurice. Neither one cared, I suppose. 
Sigh.
And then I pretty much did diddly squat. I changed up the Sunday morning breakfast and made Mr. Moon some pancakes. He does love them and it's been awhile since we had any grandchildren over to spend the night with a pancake breakfast the following morning guaranteed. I don't even really like pancakes anymore but I made eggs and bacon too so I didn't starve. They were banana, pecan, oat bran pancakes. I've been having a hard time finding the Quaker oat bran cereal that I love so much for making bread and muffins and pancakes. I like it made into a cereal as well, and it only takes about five minutes to make. Publix has quit selling it and I went online and found Bob's Mill oat bran cereal and I bought two bags. We shall see how that works. I think I'll make muffins tonight to go with the pork tenderloin and sweet potatoes we'll be eating. I'm pretty excited. 

I don't seem to have a lot to talk about. I spent some time online looking for something to wear to the event we've been invited to next month. I asked the inviter what sort of dress code we were talking here. Jeans and ripped tee shirts or sleeveless ball gowns? He suggested just a "pretty dress."
Hmmmm...
Now I have nothing against buying a pretty dress. But...shopping to find one? 
Oh dear Lord. Jessie suggested we go to Dillard's and do real shopping. I am sort of thinking of a Johnny Was dress because Johnny makes the prettiest dresses with the best fabrics and they are usually embroidered or alternately, printed with gorgeous designs. 

That's one I found online. It is rayon and silk velvet which in my opinion, is the ultimate in softness not unlike a newborn's cheek. After touching silk velvet, you'll never want to mess with regular old velvet again. I feel like a damn queen when I wear it.

Dillard's does carry Johnny Was but even on sale, the clothing is astronomically priced. So I checked out the Gem website which one of you beautiful people suggested to me awhile back and I found a few dresses that might do, the one above being one of them. But you know, it's hard to buy a dress online without trying it on. Beautiful on the screen doesn't mean a darn thing when it comes to what it looks like on a body. My body, in this case. 
And then I got to thinking about shoes. What kind of shoes would I wear and I'm pretty sure that even my best flip flops are not what I'm going for here.
Oh god. It's all so stressful. Will it be cold? Quite possibly. For me. But could it be warm? Again, quite possibly.
This is why I don't go out. This is why I love Levi's. And overalls. 

And of course all of this is such bullshit First World problems but it's just that I haven't done anything like this in so long and here I am with an easier to fit body and part of me yearns to dress up and look pretty in a pretty dress for a very fine occasion. 

Note to self: Call doctor and ask for a refill of my Ativan. I'm still on the same bottle I was three years ago and those pills may be losing their effectiveness. You think?

Last night I wrote a few paragraphs and then deleted them about how Trump finally seems to be getting some backlash and how it sort of shocked me that the incident which triggered the backlash was the video he posted on his Lying Son of a Bitch, Perfidious Social a few nights ago. 
Oh wait. That's supposed to be Truth Social. 
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I'm not even going to discuss what it was. The whole world knows. 
I'm not saying that what he posted wasn't so vile that any decent human being wouldn't be appalled and aghast and horrified and angry as hell. I'm just saying that the man was pretty much elected on his racism along with his misogyny and white supremacy dog whistles. Why is anyone surprised in the least? Why is everyone acting so offended NOW? Have they just come to the realization that maybe Donald isn't the president of all the people, just the white ones? Or have the Republican law makers suddenly realized that whoa! Black people vote too! And that there are many, many people in this country who adored and respected and admired the Obamas so much? 
So I was not shocked. Hell, I grew up in an era where Klansmen's  robes were not uncommonly found in attics. They probably still are. 

Well, whatever it takes to begin to turn this giant ship around. 
And while we're at it- RELEASE THE REAL AND UN-REDACTED EPSTEIN FILES, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! 

**************

And so it's been a nice, quiet day. And while we're here, why not post this peaceful picture?

She so kindly helps me with my jigsaw puzzles. Bizarrely, she rarely knocks any pieces off. 

Okay. Carry on. I am signing off on tonight's program. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Sports And Swine

 This is where I found myself at 10 this morning. A basketball gym in downtown Tallahassee where Levon plays on a team called The Lakers. 
Great name, huh? Maybe some pro team should adopt it. 
Anyway, it was of course a completely different Saturday morning than I usually have but I was way overdue at going to one of his games. I don't think Levon is actually in that picture. 
But here he is.

Pretty sure that was during drills. 
Do you notice that he tucks his shirt in? No one else but Levon does that. As we all know, he has his own style.

Y'all- That boy plays so well and so smart and so fast that I actually came to tears watching him. I was so proud. He is INTO IT! He's not fooling around. When he's on the court, his head is constantly pivoting, checking out where the ball is, where the other players are, planning his next move with the information he's gleaning. I forget how many points he made but it was a lot. There are some other really good players on the team but Levon and one other guy were definitely the most kick-ass and of course, they're the shortest kids on the team. 

An excellent example of size not mattering. I was so impressed with how good all the kids were. They were like tiny pros. 

Here's Vergil watching one boy while the other is studying the back cover of a book he's reading. 

Vergil is not that loud dad shouting instructions to his child from the bleachers. That guy was sitting right next to me but he knew he was getting over-amped and took a break to calm down. I respected that. 
Jessie is an enthusiastic cheerer and positive reinforcer. Any kid that needs a cheer or deserves one is going to get it from Jessie. Either team. Doesn't matter.

After the basketball game, both boys had a soccer game at another location, thus August's shin guards. So when the game was over and the buzzer buzzed, and all the boys had shaken hands and all the stuff was said and arms were draped over team members' shoulders and pictures taken, off we went to the soccer game location. 

Both boys are on the same team and Levon generally plays offensive, August defensive. 

Although Levon was pretty wiped out from the basketball game where he gave 110% effort, he still managed to make at least one goal I remember. August is far less assertive than his brother. I am thinking he got the reading gene from me while Levon got the sports gene from his grandfather and his father. And his mother. Jessie was no slouch at sports. 
The goalie on their team is the granddaughter of two folks we've known for many, many years. From old Tallahassee days. They were there too.

One of the best parts of the soccer experience for me today was the team right behind us which consisted of really young kids. They were so adorable! I wanted to squish them all with my love. 

After the soccer game we went to lunch at May's restaurant but she wasn't there! She'd taken the day off to go up to Bainbridge for a music fest. I think her other Daddy was playing. I bet May doesn't miss five days of work a year for any reason but although we missed seeing her, we were glad to know she was having a good time on a beautiful day. 

I dropped by Publix on my way home to pick up two prescriptions and while I was there, I ran into my old yoga teacher. I asked her what she's been up to and she said that she and her husband were currently doing a lot of prison ministry in Jefferson County. 
Hoo boy. Those two are quite religious. 
So that was interesting. 

While I was at Publix I took a picture of the new handles on the refrigerator and freezer cases. 

I know, I know. They just look like regular handles but they are not. They fit the hand like they were custom made for that purpose.
Oh wait. They were. But someone did a really good job on design. 

To top the day off, Vergil and Mr. Moon got right to work after all of that, finishing the processing of some wild hogs that were culled last week. Due to the destruction these animals wreak on sensitive environmental areas like wetlands, and their incredible ability to procreate, there has to be some control of their numbers. The Spaniards brought over domestic pigs when they started colonizing over here. The wild, non-native swine are descendants of those pigs and have turned into very large, invasive, and feral animals. I have heard that running into a wild boar in the woods is far more dangerous than running into a bear. 
Anyway, these hogs were shot and instead of just leaving them where they dropped, people were allowed to come in and take some as food for the table. Vergil, who does not like to buy factory farmed meat, gladly took two pigs and has spent the past week turning them into meat. He and Glen did this some years ago and that was the best pork I've ever eaten. And that is saying something. 

So today they got to work finishing up the cutting of the meat and also grinding a lot of it for plain old ground pork AND sausage. They used my new garden table sink which worked perfectly for this purpose and kept them out of my kitchen. 

Now what I haven't mentioned is that Glen got up at a stupid hour before dawn to take Gibson to a youth duck hunt and took him home afterwards before he met us at the basketball game. 
He was exhausted and finally told Vergil that he just couldn't stand up for one more minute and so now he's sitting in his chair and Vergil is on his way home. 
Jessie and I were texting back and forth and she said, "Both of those men are some hardworking humans. I love them both so much."
I wrote her back, "Yep. Their off buttons are hard to find and even harder to push." 
I think that's a very apt description. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Well, The Decor Was Pretty Interesting

My friend Liz is the very opposite of me when it comes to travel and doing things. Just plain old doing things. Different things all the time, from going on long kayak journeys to going to see the monks walking for peace to traveling across the country by herself, stopping off to visit friends here and there and she does have a million of them because she is the best friend anyone could have. She'll drive a thousand miles to help a friend paint a house or help put on a wedding and I am not kidding. She got a new Subaru last year and she's already put 36,000 miles on it. She's tricked it out so she can sleep in it, haul her kayak with it, and basically live in it, I think. 
And she is one of the people who does not let me completely become Miss Havisham. She texts me and says things like, "Let's go eat lunch at The Red Shed on Friday at 1:00. I can pick you up or meet you there." 
No wishywashing about. 
Be there or be square. 
And I generally do be there. 
She and I can talk for days. We've known each other for at least thirty-seven years and have been through a LOT together. Divorces, deaths, marriages, births, and one Jimmy Buffett concert. And oh! oh! That drunken poetry reading thing she went with me to in Winter Haven about a thousand years ago. Back when I was still writing poetry. 
So today was yes, the Red Shed at one and I met her there. I ran a few errands in town beforehand so that worked out well. The Red Shed is a newish restaurant in an old restaurant's structure with a new owner and neither one of us had ever been there. It's supposedly a Cuban restaurant but there was very little evidence to support that, the menu containing neither a Cuban sandwich or either black bean or garbanzo bean soup. Not a plantain to be seen.
I mean, what's the point? I can get a Cuban sandwich at the Hilltop which is only about five miles away. Anyway, it's out in the country east of Tallahassee, and closer to me so I was hoping for deliciousness but instead got...meh. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and I will say that the Cuban bread it was on was fantastic although the lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise were neither special or Cuban. The owner came by our table several times and told us he goes to Miami every week to get authentic groceries and after looking at the menu I could not fathom what would require a seven hour drive to get the ingredients for. But if he drives that far just to get the bread, it's almost worth it. 

But the point here is that Liz and I had a great time although it was freezing because the Red Shed is not really quite enclosed.

When we came in, a heating device was on which roared like a train, making conversation almost impossible. Add to that the bizarre choice of music blasting out of the speakers and I have to say my hearing aids got quite the test!
They did pretty well. 
And the owner turned off the heater after we'd been there a short time which was great except that, like I said, it was cold. Still, we talked and talked and talked and caught up on stuff and discussed getting older and she told me what it had been like going to see the walk-for-peace-monks and how she is thinking about joining the throngs who are going to welcome them in Washington, DC. 
I told you she's the opposite of me. 
I just love her to pieces. We make each other laugh and there are very few things we cannot or do not discuss. A friend like this is irreplaceable and I am so glad she does not let me slip out of her life. 

After about two hours, we both went our separate ways but my soul still feels much lighter and how could it not after having being exposed to the lightness of soul which is Liz's? 

When I got home, Mr. Moon was working on the generator. A generator is nothing but a large, useless box of metal if it's not working and ours has been incredibly dependable up until this point. But basically, the thing works like a truck's diesel engine or it may BE a truck's diesel engine or something in that nature and Glen Moon knows a thing or two about diesel truck engines. 
And of course he figured it out, replaced a part or two, and voila! The engine roared to life. 
My hero. 
Sigh. 
What would I do without him? 
No. I am being serious. What would I do without him? 
My daily prayer is, Let me go first.

In one other non-segued topic, I took a higher dose of Zepbound today than I have been taking. And yes, I had a prescription. Not only have I been playing with the same numbers on the scale for well over a month, the food noise has been back which I am sure is the reason I haven't been able to lose the last few pounds I want to lose. 
When I say that the food noise is back, I mean that I think I am hungry far more than I know I really am, and thoughts of things like candy and bread with butter and jam and, oh, all that stuff, are taking up way too much space in my head and I am not only eating more but also eating more of the wrong stuff. And I do not like that. 
So yeah, I'm going to be on this drug for the rest of my life but as I keep saying- how long can that be? 
After this first shot of the higher dose, I immediately lost that brain-clamoring for more, more, more. And it brings home the truth that my brain is not to be trusted when it comes to telling me I'm hungry or that I need sweet things. Once again, I am not really concerned with food at all. Three hours after I injected myself, I was able to eat an appropriate amount at lunch with absolutely no desire to eat any more. 
I feel as if once again I have been liberated from the demon who has been in my head my entire life telling me that I need, nay, MUST eat more food. 
It's such a goddam relief. 

Here's a picture of Maurice not helping me weed in the camellia bed.

She may not have been any help, but she was welcome company and isn't she a pretty thing? Her winter coat has never been fuller or more impressive. 

Clean sheets, martini time, happy Friday, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon

A Little In-Service On Agoraphobia

Since the freezes of last week, I do not have one open camellia blossom in the entire yard while four years ago on this very date, that was just a small part of the bounteous beauty we were experiencing. On top of that, my garden this winter has been the least successful winter fall/winter garden I've ever had that I can remember. I know, I know. I've already mentioned this. It's all just such a disappointment. Not one damn pot of greens have I made. 

Perhaps this all has something to do with my mood today although probably not. It began before I got up which was so late that instead of trying to keep me in the bed, Maurice came and stuck her face up next to mine to see if I was alive. I was and I was also awake, just unable to throw the covers back and face the chilly day. I finally did but it was hard. I had been tired last night for sure. An inadequate night's sleep on Tuesday night, an early rising, a busy day, and then a power outage and oh, the brain power I had to use to figure out to flip the main switch in the box from "off" to "on," not to mention the physical strength it took me to do the job. 
Right.
So sure, sleeping late wasn't a big deal and quite possibly something I needed but I think it had more to do with not wanting to face something I needed to face which was an invitation that had come via text before I went to sleep from one of my oldest friends who is planning a party to be held in March in a different state. If I were of sound mind and body, this would only be a joy, but because of what I'm fairly sure is getting dangerously close to a full-blown case of agoraphobia. I used to joke that I wasn't really agoraphobic, I simply really loved my house. 
And there is truth in that. There are few places I like as much as I like my house although one of the reasons I love my house so much is that I feel safe here. 
This is my territory. My space. My things are here. Whatever I might need I have in this house. There's no one here to judge me and the likelihood of anything causing me to have a sudden panic attack is low, and if I did have one, I would be in my safe place where I could recover. 
Oh, hell. That's just a small part of it all. 
This reminds me of something I said in pottery class yesterday, almost as an aside to myself which was, "What is WRONG with me?" and then answered the question saying, "Where do we begin?"
Sometimes I do feel that way. So...paralyzed...by all the various chemical, biological, environmental, past trauma ingredients that I am denying myself pleasure and enjoyment because of ridiculously imagined situations I might find myself in and the irony in that is that I don't even imagine horrible or tragic situations like plane crashes or car accidents or being trapped in a fire or, well, anything like that. My fears and anxieties are so nebulous. I think a lot of it has to do with the routines I keep which hold my anxieties at bay. If I stick to my daily routine within a reasonable time frame, I feel in control. 
Master of my domain? 
Yes. Exactly.
And while traveling, the familiar is completely erased, the routine is made impossible. 
And this terrifies me. 

So. Knowing that in reality, I truly want to go to this party for many and various and very good reasons, I have to face all of this. I have to begin the process of talking myself down, of making arrangements that are comfortable for me, of knowing deeply and truly that I will be fine and I will be so glad to have done this.

Phew. It's a lot. For me, at least. 

On top of all of this, I am sure my husband wants to go. This man who thinks nothing at all of flying or driving to Canada, has his own connections to the people involved with this party and a deep geographical connection too. 
In short, I have to go. 

He's home now. He got in a little while ago and he had a rather disappointing week. He was truly looking forward to fishing on Lake Seminole with a guy who has fished it for years and knows the best places to catch different specific types of fish, the shallow parts that are hard to navigate in a boat, the...whatever it is that fisherpeople need to know. And besides that, he just didn't get a lot done. 

Well, neither did I. I have finished all the patching I'm going to do on these corduroy overalls and am wearing them as we speak. I've started watching a drama mini-series based on a book by Walter Mosley that I just finished listening to. The series follows the book closely and I'm pretty sure Mosley wrote the screenplay. Samuel L. Jackson plays the lead character and I doubt I need to say anything about his abilities. The supporting cast is excellent as well. I am sure the series is not for everyone so look it up before you jump in. Or just watch this trailer. 

I think it's an excellent production and well worth watching. 

While I was mining old posts for pictures of beautiful camellias, I came across this. 

That is Baby August. Do you remember when he used to call himself "Little Boppy"?
Oh my heart. 

And that's all I have to show and tell tonight. 

Love...Ms. Moon

A Day I Have Very Much Enjoyed. Mostly

Although I did sleep rather poorly last night due to the anxiety that comes with knowing there will be an alarm going off at some point, after I got up and got dressed and started drinking coffee, it wasn't bad at all. And this is always what happens. I got to see the sky go from gray and black to living color and that's a nice thing to see. 
I swear though, when the alarm went off, Maurice resettled herself more firmly on my legs and did that magic trick wherein she made herself weigh about three times her normal weight as if she was doing her best to keep me there. 
Animals can do this. Isn't it crazy how much more a dog weighs when he knows a bath is in his immediate future? 
At least mine did. 

Pottery was really, really enjoyable for me today. The different sort of flower bowl I've been working on for weeks showed itself to be ready to go into the kiln and although it is no work of art and it doesn't display much in the area of skill in ceramics, it is all in one piece and I don't hate it. 

It's rough but I'll do some sanding after the first firing before I glaze it. 

I have to tell you that I am deeply intimidated, posting pictures of my kindergarten efforts knowing that Barbara Rogers might be reading my post. Barbara was (is) a REAL potter and practiced her art for many years. She even has a blog called "Alchemy of Clay."
Check it out. 
But I can just see her looking at these pictures and cringing, rolling her eyes and saying, "Oh, Mary." 
But that's okay. 
What I truly enjoyed today was working on a different bowl, this one made in the pattern and shape of one of my fishes. I took my time, carefully thinking about exactly what it was I was going for. I had no pre-plan, and actually, only came up with the idea to make a fish bowl after I got to class. And this is what it looked like when I set it on the shelf to dry. 

The tail is a handle so that you can steady that bad boy bowl when you're eating your gumbo out of it. And because I wanted to make a handle. 
I see now that the bottom fin is a sin. A fin sin. A sin fin and I may try to get back into the studio before next Wednesday to try and remedy that situation. And if not- that is okay. 
I also got a few more ideas while I was working on this one and that's a good feeling. 

I can't wait to use my new glazes on both the flower and fish bowls to see what sort of magic they produce. 

But really, the best part of the class was that there were only six of us, not including our teacher who was busy with kiln duty, and we truly carried on a conversation for most of the class, talking about everything from glazes to different types of clay to husbands and careers and places some of us (Lizzie!) have lived and traveled to and plan to travel to. I love that part of it so much. We support each other, we make each other laugh, we give each other inspiration, and some of us are comfortable hugging now. We are learning each others' stories and of course, that is one of my most favorite things in the world to do.

Here's Ms. Jessie who worked on a new textural technique. I love it! 

And then Vergil met Jessie and me for lunch which was really fun. Lily couldn't make it because she was trying to get things DONE on her day off. 
Sigh. 

It's raining this evening and has been since late afternoon. It was definitely warmer today although I was still cold, it will continue to warm up although we are looking at a few more below-freezing temperatures in the next week. I finally uncovered the limequat and baby olive trees I'd covered a few weeks ago, afraid I'd find completely dead trees which was very much a possibility. However, I do believe both plants are going to make it. 

Yes, there is definitely going to be some trimming before it's all over but I see leaves that still look green and juicy. 

I'm not going to get a blade close to them until I can truly see the damage. So that was heartening. 

Mr. Moon is fine, albeit very disappointed about a canceled fishing excursion on Lake Seminole due to the rain. I believe he'll be home tomorrow. 

Let's all have sweet dreams tonight, okay? 

Love...Ms. Moon

P.S. Right when I was getting this post ready to publish, our lights went out which normally wouldn't be a problem but the generator did not come on. I got a text from Duke Energy about the outage and Lloyd looked dark. Vergil was out here working on processing some wild hog meat so he checked things out and there was nothing he could do and I sent him on home and told Mr. Moon via phone I was fine and I was. I made a sandwich and had a terrific headlamp and was planning to go to bed and read when I got another notice from Duke saying all the power was back on and it looked like it was but OURS WASN'T! WTF!?
I checked the breaker box and the main switch was flipped to off and so I tried to flip it to on but that fucker did not want to move. Glen consulted Vergil and I was told to try again and I did and it worked and we have power. 
It's possible Vergil flipped it to off when he was trying to figure out the generator or, well, whatever. 
I now feel like Wonder Woman and I'm going to bed. 

Just Another Day In The Life

Here's Sleeping Beauty herself this morning, still tucked up after I was out of bed. Is it just me or does she look a little scary even so obviously cozy and sleepy? Perhaps you have to know her. She slept on my legs all night long which is fine although when she does that, I wake up with sweaty legs every time. 
That's a great image, isn't it? 
Just call me Old Sweaty Legs. 
I just made myself laugh.

It was cold as hell again this morning but it did warm up considerably. I mean, I wasn't wearing a muumuu and flip flops but I didn't feel the need for a heavy coat, either. I've been wearing my mother's ancient camel-colored cashmere coat that she probably bought in the fifties when we still lived in Chattanooga because she sure didn't need one in Roseland which is where we lived after Tennessee. And I have to tell you- that coat has no rips, no holes and the satin lining is still glorious.

The hand-stitched label is still firmly attached. I do believe I've posted a picture of that label before but I do love a good label. The coat weighs about forty pounds but it's warm. 

They used to make 'em to last, didn't they? 

I went to town and got my Publix shopping done quick-quick which is quite unusual. My brain was working fairly well today and I had made sure to have my list and and was very careful about checking it frequently so as not to have to return to the produce section when I was already in the cleaning products section which is all the way across the store. This happens far more than I am comfortable admitting but it did not today. As I mentioned the other day, they are moving everything around in this Publix and perhaps that's why I'm paying better attention- I have to in order to find what I'm looking for. And that is not a bad thing. I'm not fond of change but change in the grocery store cannot be compared to changes which truly affect my life. Plus, and I may have said this before, I love the new style of handles on the refrigerator and freezer cases. I have thought about them frequently since I first encountered them. Is this an indication that I need to get a life? 
Well, maybe. 
They're just sleeker and more slender, more friendly to the hand. Great design, Publix! 

I met up with Jessie to go to Costco and of course that was an adventure. As always.
Okay, okay. I DO need to get a life. But until I do, here's something that makes me quite happy.

We've been needing a new kitchen rug/mat for a long time now. The old one was about the opposite of non-skid and neither Glen nor I need to risk falls. And who could be morose, looking at those red cherries? 
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF COLOR, I am telling you. 
For a second, when I was picking out which of the four patterns Costco was offering these rugs in, I thought, "I should get something that goes with my kitchen," and then I laughed and laughed. 
What WOULDN'T go with my kitchen? 

We got to see Brenda and she is feeling much better than the last time I saw her. She gives the best hugs you can imagine. An embrace that leaves you feeling 94% (or more) better than you did before the hug. The sort of hug you can still feel hours later. 
You know what? I think hugs are one of the best things that humans can do for each other. I know there are people who do not like to either hug or be hugged and that is fine and I respect it but I am so glad I am not one of them. I hug my kids, I hug my grandkids (even Levon and August are becoming more comfortable with them), I hug my friends, I hug people whom I am not really officially friends with but for whom I feel a great fondness and who appear to me to need a hug. 
And I hug my husband. I swear, we must hug at least ten times a day, especially when the weather is chilly. Sometimes I feel like there is nothing on earth I need more or would rather do than hug and be hugged by him. 
No husband hugs today, though. He called me a little while ago to check in and tell me he's going to be eating turkey soup from the freezer for his supper. I have no memory of making turkey soup but it might be from the Thanksgiving turkey seeing as how I think that's the last turkey I cooked. 

I wanted to clear up some questions some of you had about Harvey, his whereabouts, and his property. The post I wrote about that a week ago can be found HERE.

In it I wrote about his being in jail at the moment and how I really do not have details but it seems as if he's possibly lost the thread here. If I had to live in the same circumstances as Harvey has for at least the twenty-two years I've lived in Lloyd, I'd probably be in jail too, if not dead. That is not hyperbole. 
If I ever do get more details from a reliable source, I'll share them. In the meantime, please know that I really have no idea if he was the owner of the property he lived on or if someone else owned it and was allowing him to stay there. Fifty years ago I probably would have gone to the jail to see and talk to him but I am not that person now. I know there are situations in which I have nothing to add and this is one of them. And besides that, if I have anxiety just meeting someone for lunch, I am not sure I could even begin to handle a visit to the Jefferson County jail. 

Pottery tomorrow so I'll be getting a poor night's sleep tonight. I swear- last night I woke up in the very early hours and my first thought was, "It's okay. I don't have to get up early this morning but tomorrow I will. Oh no!"
There really is something wrong with me. 
As if we didn't know.

Love...Ms. Moon

Alone Again But Not Complaining

I took this picture when I had a walk today. That is Harvey's property and what it looks like when you approach it from the west. I've seldom, if ever, taken pictures of his home out of respect for his privacy but knowing he's not there, I figured I wasn't going to disturb him at home. As you can see, there isn't much privacy to be had there. I've seen him sleeping in that truck and of course there are the two trailers but I'm not sure he spent much time in either of them. In reality, they're nothing but metal boxes which do little to mitigate heat or cold. Although there is an electric line extended over the trailers, I feel certain it is not hooked up. 

I have seen him sitting in the doorway of that trailer. The men who cleaned up the property did a thorough job and it appears they didn't throw away or dispose of anything that is a possession of Harvey's. You can see his latest cross sign there. I'm not sure why "Christ" is upside down on it but it is. At one point it said "No Man Lord" which is what I called him for a long time before I knew his real name. Not to his face. And of course it has said "Jesus Saves" on it. Harvey seems to have a deep devotion to Jesus and I have seen him reading a huge Bible many times, usually sitting under the one tree on his property. 
Which is no longer his property. 
So that's what I've been talking about all these years when I've talked about Harvey's place. 

The walk was very good. It was whippier and colder than I'd thought it was and I was not dressed warmly enough. It wasn't cold enough to get chilblains, of course, but I never did warm up entirely. I will say that my speed increased nicely. I was quite spry out there today. 
Well, for a 71-year old woman. 
Which I still find hard to believe I am. 
I know a lot of people who, as they get older insist that they still feel the same way they did when they were sixteen or twenty-one or even ten years old. 
In some ways, I do understand that. After having and raising four children, I am quite convinced that we are all born with our personalities already in place. When it comes to nature vs. nurture, I think it's pretty obvious it's both. However, if you're born with a questioning nature, I don't think you can erase that characteristic by anything you experience or do. Some people are born responding to and loving music and may well find themselves seeking out ways to express themselves with it no matter what their upbringing is like. 
I don't think I need to belabor the point here. You know what I mean. So yes, I do love many of the same things I loved when I was six including books, and trees, and rivers, and oceans. I loved looking out at the Atlantic and wondering about the distant countries on the other side of it and what was under that water. Whales? Sea monsters? Trunks of golden coins and jeweled treasures? The bones of the pirates whose gold and jewels that had been?
And I still feel exactly the same way when I look out at an endless horizon of water now. 
Again, I believe you know what I'm talking about. 
However, when it comes to a lot of other things, I do not feel at all as if I was any of those much-younger ages. Not just in my joints or bones or muscles or memory. That all goes without saying. Some things that I thought I would lose with age though, I am surprised and delighted to find I have not and which would probably have disturbed and shocked me to contemplate when I was young and lithe and full of the juicy sweetness of youth. 
But when it comes to ways I think, the years I've stacked up behind me do influence me greatly and sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it is not. I am no less liberal than I was when I was nineteen so it's not things like that. It's more things like being up for travel and adventures, going to parties and out to bars to dance. Okay-let's face it- going anywhere that requires me to leave my house and my property. 
And put on a bra. 
But then again, my mother always called me her "worrier" because I worried about everything when I was young and guess what? I'm exactly the same now only far more so, to the point of severe anxiety so things in that area have gotten worse, not better. But the seed of this sort of thing was in me from the beginning. 

Ay-yi-yi. 

Mr. Moon left to go up to the cabin this afternoon after he'd gone to Tom's to help him with plumbing problems caused by the freezes we've had. It was not good. But you know Glen- he'll do what he can and he'll do it the best he can so he got a late start but that's okay. 

I've boiled and pressed my tofu so that is definitely on the menu tonight and I want to get to it. I believe that tomorrow I'll do my shopping which somehow always takes me all day. 
I hope Maurice sleeps with me tonight which she has not been doing. Instead, she's been sleeping on Mr. Moon's lap when he is in his chair and that BITCH actually purrs for him. 
Sigh.
I told Glen this morning that I want my own cat. But of course any other cat we brought into this house would immediately be sliced and diced by the Orange Warrior Goddess who rules here. 
Sigh again. 

Only going to get down to 31 tonight. Almost toasty!
No it's fucking not. But we're getting used to this. In a way. Sort of. 
Not really. We'll live.

Love...Ms. Moon