Time To Pull Up The Big Girl Panties Once Again

This is me, shopping for a pitchfork at the Tractor Supply today. My finger is there because there were three different pitchforks and I was sending their pictures to Glen and I was supposed to delineate which pitchfork was which by holding up 1, 2, or 3 fingers. I believe this one was actually pitchfork #2 but I only got one finger in the picture. I was holding a hoe at the time. They only had two hoes and one was obviously superior to the other so that choice was easy. 
The whole picture thing got ridiculous and I finally said, "I'm just going to pick one and that's that."
Mr. Moon agreed it was a good plan. 

After I had decided on the gardening implements, I walked back to where they keep the chicks and by golly, the sign was up that said, "The Chicks Are In!" 
I was so happy and also, so worried. What if I could not control myself and bought home a dozen biddies and possibly four ducklings? 
But upon examination, I saw that there were no babies in the enclosures where they keep them. The heat lamps were on but nobody was home. 
I asked an employee about the situation and she said they'd gotten a lot in but they all sold out. More would be arriving soon. 
I'm telling you- once you start keeping chickens, it's just so very hard not to want to keep doing it. Every time I look at the old coop, which is approximately twenty times a day, my heart breaks a little. 
But I'm sure it was best they didn't have any. My heart couldn't stand it and I've not been in the best mood already. 

The dentist went fine. I've been so lucky with my teeth. The dental hygienist thought perhaps a tooth the dentist had filled last year due to a chipping of the enamel had chipped again and might have to be dealt with. I have zero problems with that tooth and when the dentist did it, she told me it might not hold due to its position but it was worth a try. MUCH cheaper option than getting a crown. 
And when she came in and looked at my teeth today she said it was fine, everything was fine, it all looked good. 
Phew.

And then I ran a few errands including buying the hoe and the pitchfork and I came home and that was my day. Mr. Moon, on the other hand, worked his ass off outside, still trying to clean up the mess a vine-killed tree made when it fell and pulled about a vertical acre of vines with it. That's what he needed a pitchfork for. Ours had broken. When he decided he'd had enough of that, he moved his operations to the garden where he put up a climbing fence for the sugar snap peas and then planted them. He was exhausted when I got home at four and he worked at least another hour and a half after that. I have no idea how he does it. I fussed at him like (speaking of) an old mother hen, lecturing him on the fact that he does NOT have to do everything in a day and he really neither wanted to hear that or needed to hear that and told me that he's a goal-oriented person which I already knew and I shut my mouth and started a pot of field peas for our dinner. Which we grew. 

I feel like something's wrong with me. The weather here has been the sort of weather that always propels me to the plant nurseries for seeds and seedlings, eager to get things in the ground. It's a visceral thing and it happens when the air feels a certain way, the temperature reaches a certain point, the days become noticeably longer. I remember a little neighbor boy asking me a long time ago why I planted so much in my garden. I told him that I just have to.
But right now, I don't feel that way and it has me wondering what in hell is going on in my head. This is so unlike me. Perhaps the lack of success of the usually so prolific fall/winter garden has damped my enthusiasm. Or perhaps it's just that I know we are not getting enough sun in that garden which dooms things, especially the tomatoes and cucumbers and squash. We got more sun there twenty-three years ago when we moved in because the trees that are now blocking the sun were just young things, not yet tall enough to interfere too much with the garden. And we simply cannot cut down a live oak or a magnolia which are two of the trees preventing light from getting to that little plot of land. 
Bah. I don't know. 
I don't know, I don't know, I do not fucking know. Perhaps it's the fucked-uppedness of the world in general, our country in particular. I seem to be carrying a lot of what-the-hell-difference-does-it-make around in my brain. So much so that the idea of planting tomatoes which I KNOW will not give us much seems more ridiculous than ever. Meanwhile, I also know that every tomato we do get will be a joy and besides that, the rattlesnake beans, which have never failed me yet, will give me enough beans to can and to pickle and to eat fresh and that is not nothing. 

We put a few more plants back on the front porch today but I am going about this slowly. I do NOT want to lose any of them due to premature spring dreams. I am shocked at how much damage some of them show, especially the ones that have been in the Glen Den which gets so little light. But they'll come back. And some of the plants inside are showing new growth and seem to be fine and happy. All is not lost. 

I believe that crooked-legged plant stand was another dump find. It works perfectly well, holding up my giant begonia. I began rooting two of the begonia leaves at the tail end of fall and I think I'll put them each in their own pots. The firespike I've been rooting all winter will go directly into the ground. 
I guess I do still have some desire to plant. And I did plant those probably useless potatoes the other day. If those sprouts actually grow enough to break ground, I'll be surprised. Glen bought more seed potatoes so we'll have that shot too. We haven't had any luck with potatoes in years. 

And to make my heart even heavier today, Robert Duvall died. I spent some time just now looking at clips from some of his movies to find one to post here but I can't just pick out one so I'll just copy a thing I wrote five years ago when Larry McMurtry, the man who wrote the book that the mini-series Lonesome Dove was born from, died. The character Duvall played in that was his favorite role of all, or at least he's said that in interviews. 
This is what I wrote.

"I remember when Lonesome Dove was released. My friend Sue and I, both book lovers and readers of the highest order, read it at the same time and were immersed and we fell in love with Gus and Captain Call and all of the cowboys who busted all of the cowboy myths as they moved a herd of cattle stolen from just over the border in Mexico to Montana. We knew immediately that the book would become a movie or a series and it did and we spent hours talking about who would play Gus, who would play Call, who would play Clara, who would play Bolivar, the cook? Turned out to be brilliant casting and one of my favorite actors of all times ended up being Gus, one of my favorite fictional characters of all times. He and he alone could speak the words that McMurtry had given to his old Texas Ranger. 

Robert Duvall. 
It was a moment of perfection in history for me. And as far as I'm concerned, Lonesome Dove is the Great American Novel. 
It is MY Great American Novel, anyway." 

If you've never seen the series, you might give it a whirl. It is not just a cowboy thing. Not at all. And if you've never seen the movie "Tender Mercies" that Duvall was in, I'd recommend that one any day. I believe that was the movie where I fell in love with him as an actor. 

Well, now I'm not only feeling sad about the world in general and my lack of enthusiasm for getting things spring-planted and the knowledge that my husband will never, ever listen to me when I fuss at him, I'm also missing my Sue-Sue and I'm sad that Robert Duvall's light has gone missing from the planet but so it will be for all of us. 
May our memories be a blessing. I know Robert Duvall's is. 
So is Sue's. At least to me. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Sacred Altar Of Camellias

Hallway altar of important things. Pictures, the Virgin of Guadalupe, black coral (brought home from Cozumel before it was illegal AND I found it on the beach), seashells, tortoise shells, feathers, gathered beach glass, etc. 
I am so happy to have such a nice assortment of camellias. More to come. 

The buds are abundant. 

We did get our rain. A good, heavy one and it lasted for a few hours. I doubt it really did anything to alleviate any of the drought problems but at least a lot of plants and trees got a good soaking. And the oak leaves, which have been waiting for new leaves to come and push them off their branches, probably got a good head start on that. At one moment this morning before the rain started, I saw branches being twisted and turned as if some angry being was wringing them the way I'd wring my mop in the bucket. We also got some rumbles of distant thunder and oh, how I love that sound. The sound of rain either coming, going, or here now. 

The Sunday Morning Big Breakfast was a good one today. For whatever reason, my biscuits rose higher and lighter than usual. Mr. Moon proclaimed them to be better than Hardee's biscuits but I know he was lying. Hardees makes some damn good biscuits. 
I talk about fast food as if I regularly eat it. Or, if not fast good, then greasy spoon food (like Waffle House) but the truth is, if I've eaten at a Hardee's in a decade, I'd be surprised. Waffle House? Maybe four times a year. But I can remember how good the biscuits are at Hardee's. I forget a lot of things these days but I do not seem to forget foods I've eaten.
Another good thing we had for breakfast was some of the sausage Glen made from the wild pig Vergil brought home. It was fit. It also had almost no fat on it. The guys trimmed a lot of the fat off when they processed that meat and although it isn't as spare as venison, I'll just say that you need to get a little oil in that skillet before you put the patties in. Venison is so bereft of fat that I add a little olive oil to the ground meat if I'm making a meatloaf from it. 
I wonder if the fact that people did not seem to have the problems with obesity back in the olden days that we do now, was at least partly because the meat was so much leaner. Not only were the hunter/gatherers eating less meat, most likely, the meat they were eating was not given hormones to speed and increase growth rate. 
And this is one of the many reasons that eating wild game is preferable to eating factory farmed meat if you do, indeed, eat meat. 
So many things we should be paying attention to. So many more things we should be concerned about rather than just whether our eggs come from happy hens or not. Although I hope they would be.

But beyond making breakfast, I did not do much today. 
The crossword puzzle. More work on the jigsaw puzzle. I swear to you- one of these years I'm going to finish that bitch. I read a longish interview in the New York Times Magazine and it was disturbing enough to make me want to do only mindless things that sapped and sopped my emotions. 
I'm not even going to link it. It was about Gisele Pelicot and if you have no idea who she is or what happened to her, it's probably for the best. 
I will just say that women are forced to go through things that no loving god would tolerate. 
It's strange. The other night while I was in that between world of sleep and awareness, an epiphany struck me about the patriarchy and how it has controlled women throughout history and I thought to myself, "I should get up and write this down," and the other part of me insisted that no, I would remember it. 
Of course I don't. 
What I do remember is that it was so logical and so true that I knew I was astounded I'd never thought about things quite this way. Was my brain playing silly tricks on me or did I suddenly grasp a concept that, if not original, was at least original to my mind? 
I suppose I'll never know. 

It's been quiet here for the rest of the day and I'm heating up soup I made last week for our supper. I've got a loaf of bread just about ready to go into the oven. We have determined that there's something wrong with the ignitor system in the Thermonster's oven. As in it takes quite awhile to ignite itself and when it does, there is a rather disturbingly loud WOOSH as flames shoot forth from the bottom of the oven. It just lasts for a second though so I've been ignoring it until today when it was a little more serious and I demonstrated it to my husband who said, "NO. That is not safe." 
Sigh.
Well, what with the slow leak in the hot water valve of the washing machine, that makes two appliances which need attention. Glen can deal with the washing machine but he does not mess with things like gas and electronic ignitions. Except for generators.
Never fear! We bought the extended warranty! Which has not yet expired! 
Since these things always happen in threes, I am curious to see what appliance will next start fucking up. 

Best news of the day: I thought I had my annual doctor's appointment in March but no! It is in May! The comet may have hit the earth by then, rendering that of no importance at all. 

Worst news of the day: I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Just a cleaning but... oh Lord. 

I'll probably survive.

Love...Ms. Moon

No Matter What Else, There Is Pink Perfection

Well, here you go. The first open Pink Perfection. That bush is so filled with blooms you can't believe it. Actually, they all are. Now- will all of those buds come to fruition? I cannot say. I noticed today that my favorite of all the camellias I have has a bud that's opening and perhaps it will be a full bloom tomorrow. Or the next day. 

We're supposed to get rain tomorrow. A lot of rain. Which would be good. We're in something like the worst draught ever here. I feel like we've seen it worse but I'm no expert. A winter draught doesn't seem to be as bad as a summer draught because things are already in a state of stasis so we don't expect plants and grass to be emerald green and all thrusty and hardy looking. 
I'm pretty sure "thrusty" isn't a word but perhaps it should be. 
What I think I'm probably trying to say here is that I hope it rains. I hope it rains hard and all day long. 

I have not been in the same good spirits today as I was yesterday. I have no idea why. The weather has still been lovely, although a little more overcast. Again I tried to stay busy with one thing and another and even went out to the garden and weeded (the weeds never stop coming up here) a bit, making a bed for some sprouted potatoes we'd grown last year. They've been sitting in a bowl under the folding table for months, and Mr. Moon finally brought them out and set them in the kitchen, intending for me to compost them. He noticed them because he was in the laundry room, trying to figure out where the slight leak from the washing machine was located. 
Sigh. 
It never ends, does it? 
He has not, at this point, zeroed in on that. He's been pretty busy with other plumbing issues including the sprinkler heads for the garden which froze and busted when it was so cold and also a water connection that needed to be made at Tom's. 
Again I say, it never ends. 

But working in the garden didn't raise my spirits the way it so often does. I got those sprouted potatoes settled in their own little trenches but I do not have a great deal of hope for them. It's another root hog or die situation. Still, I somehow could not just throw them out. And as we speak, Mr. Moon is in the kitchen cutting up seed potatoes he bought at a nursery today so they can cure or something that supposedly needs to be done before they go in the ground. We had such a feeble crop last year. I hope this year we have better luck. 

I also finished the weeding I'm going to do in the camellia bed but I haven't started mulching with the pine straw yet. All of this seems so overwhelming. 
I watered all the plants that are still inside and put a few more back out on the porch. I'm not rushing this process. Some of the plants seem to be tolerating the lower light fine while others do not seem as happy. 
Oh hell. I just realized I forgot to water the ferns. 
Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow.

And yes, it's Valentine's Day and Mr. Moon made me a sweet little Valentine that was right beside the coffee pot this morning and his getting the new sprinkler heads is a love-language thing for him to do. He's bought some pork chops he wants to grill and so that will be our supper. I made his truffles and I think they came out nicely. 

I couldn't find the coconut I thought I had so there are only cocoa and pecan coated ones. They'll do. And yes, they are in a Christmas tin which I'm sure Rachel had filled with cookies or something else very tasty she made for one of our Christmases. That too, will do. 

Here's a thing that does make my heart so very happy. 

Jessie's boys with their Valentine's Day presents which she got when we were thrifting a few days ago. She got Big Slothy for August. The small Slothy that Big Slothy is holding has been a cherished part of August's life since he was tiny. Doesn't he look so happy, holding both of them? And Levon is wearing his new gold chain which he has been wanting. 
Oh, those dear boys. 

And since I haven't posted a picture of Large Marge, aka Xena in awhile, here's a picture Lily texted of the pup herself at a nursery they visited today. 

Lily said she was the belle of the ball. She also advised us that if you don't want to have to talk to people, don't take a giant puppy out in public. 

And one more picture.

The sky was on fire again tonight.
At least in Lloyd, Florida.

Love...Ms. Moon

Sweetnesses

Last night when we got home from the meeting, when we got out of the car and went to walk into the kitchen I smelled the tea olive which is the first I knew it was blooming. The flowers are so miniature that I always notice their scent which is not miniature in any way, before I notice the blooms. I love the way they smell so much. I call it angel perfume. 

As to the meeting which we left before it even really got going- the results are in and I got a text from my neighbor who said everyone there had been opposed except for one person and the commission opposed the request. Now. What this means exactly, I do not know and my neighbor said that she bets Love Truck Stop will come back with another proposal. 
Sigh. 
But for now...
We are good. 
Personally, I wish they'd put in a hotel and a Waffle House. That would be dandy. I mean, hotels can be pretty ugly and they aren't the most charming things to look at, at least not the big chain ones they put up now, but they are tolerable and a Waffle House- well. You know how I feel about Waffle House. I am pretty sure that won't happen because there already is a Waffle House just one exit to the west which is about ten minutes away. 
But as I said the other day, eventually something is going to go in there. That property is just too ripe for development, especially as Tallahassee is growing this way so quickly. Huge housing developments are going in where there were only large tracts of woods. 
It is a sorrow and it is a reality.

I took this picture this morning because of the way the sun was shining through those petals. So tender, so lovely. We have many buds, waiting their cues to come on stage. I do not know exactly what their cues are, but they do. They have the script and I trust them to have memorized it. 

I was pretty busy today and it felt good. The weather was absolutely perfect. For a time I was even barefoot and sleeveless and yet, it was not hot. The sky clear blue all day long. 

I even managed to get the sheets and a few towels and new placemats hung on the line. I got those placemats at the thrift store Hank and I visited yesterday. I call them "fancy" and I think they are a fabric fiesta for the eyes. My eyes at least. 

I finally got to what needed to be done on the front porch which was to bring in all of the sheets and blankets I had out there to wrap plants in. I should have done that a month or so ago when I brought the plants inside. I don't know why I haven't. I gave the porch a good sweeping and set the plant stands where they should go and I brought one little old wicker table that's falling apart around to the side of the house where I'll see it and remember to take it to the dump. It has lived its life, it has served its purpose, it has brought me pleasure. 
I even carried a few plants back out there, just smaller ones, to get more light. They're still okay inside but gradually, we'll get them all back out. I'm a little leery of doing that yet though. I've seen freezes in March. 

I did several more loads of wash after I did the sheets, dried them in the dryer and folded them and put them away. I brought in the things hanging on the line and made up the bed. 

I also made the ganache for the truffles I'm making for Mr. Moon's Valentine's Day. We have agreed not to do anything special but any reason to make chocolate truffles is welcome. I haven't made any in so long and they're just the easiest things to make. Also, they are divine. I mean- chocolate, cream, and vanilla. And a tiny bit of butter. The ganache is in the refrigerator and I'll make the truffles themselves tomorrow, rolling them in cocoa and perhaps some in crushed pecans and some in coconut. They are a messy thing to make, as rolling them heats the ganache in your hands so it's a thing best done quickly, keeping whatever you're not working with in the refrigerator. But so worth it. I imagine that beyond that we'll just be giving each other a few extra kisses and hugs. 
We know we love each other. We do not take that for granted. We do not need a particular day to express that. 

I'm not sure what else I did but I know I must have done other things as I kept moving from one thing to another most of the day. This is housekeeping though, isn't it? All of the little things that must be done to maintain order and at least a modicum of tidiness. 

When Hank and I went to that thrift store yesterday, I not only bought those placemats, I also bought a new purse. 
I know. Shocking, right? 
And the shocking thing is that it's not really the sort of purse I usually fall in love with but for whatever reason, I did. It cost $14.99 and it delights me. 

The leather is very soft and I love the weaving in the design. Also, these tiny buckles just made me swoon for whatever reason.

I'm not big on decorative blah blah on purses but in this case, I am charmed. 

Oh, those little brass clasps which connect the strap to the bag! And the strap has small gold links woven into the first few inches of both ends of the strap which I would normally disdain but in this case, I do not. The strap itself is thin-ish and delicate, but strong. Quality leather indeed. And already broken in and ready to go. 
Although it is quite small, it easily holds all I need. Three pockets inside, one of them zippered, and those two zippered pockets outside. 

This post is very lighthearted. I am not talking about what I have come to think about as the horrors. I have needed this day at home spent in doing the simplest of tasks, being outside and inside, loving where I live, loving whom I live with, taking note of the blooming things, looking up and feeling at peace. 

The Japanese magnolias are beginning to open. They are always late, perhaps due to the fact that they are of the magenta variety rather than the normal pink. Or, because they don't get all the sun they need. I look forward to them blooming every year and I am patient. 

And here's a funny little cartoon from the New Yorker that made me smile. 

Happy Valentine's Eve. I raise my martini to all of us. We are all worthy of love, we are all worthy of being cherished, we are all worthy of buying little things that bring us pleasure. We are all allowed to eat truffles and to sleep on clean sheets and smile and laugh. 
Even now. Even in these times. 
Especially in these times. 

Happy Friday, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon

 

A Day Of Busyness And Goodness

That's a picture of a flyer stapled to a telephone pole on a busy corner yesterday as I sat at a red light on my way to pick up Jessie for pottery. It just evoked so much of old Florida to me that I had to take the photo. Mullet and oysters at a lounge in Quincy, Florida. 
Somebody's going fishing and oystering and that is going to be some good food. Twenty bucks for all you can eat is a terrific deal. Go check out the prices on a dozen oysters and you'll see I'm telling the truth. And mullet is god's own fish, once thought of as mostly poor people's protein but which is actually a delicacy. Lily was just saying the other day that she wishes some church would have a fish fry soon and I agree with her. Churches used to do that all the time. They'd set up in parks and downtown and serve fish that was fried when you ordered it in a big pot of oil on a propane burner, usually mullet, along with grits, cole slaw and beans. Plenty of hot sauce on the side. Sodas came with, and you could pick one out of a cooler full of ice. They were fundraisers for the church. I've bought terrific lunches from several of those fundraisers right here in Lloyd but I haven't seen one in a long time. I do not know why as the churches are still definitely here. 

But that's just a flyer I saw that sparked memories and what I really wanted to talk about is the meeting in Monticello that Glen got home in time for and I actually went to with him. This is the meeting of the Planning Commission that I posted about a few days ago. These meetings are held in the courthouse annex in a relatively small meeting room and by the time we got there, about five minutes early, that room was packed to standing room only and the connected entry way, waiting area, and I guess overflow space, was also packed. 

Many, many people had shown up for this meeting and I doubt one of them was in favor of the zoning change proposal. The crowd was quite mixed as to age, race, sex, and just-coming-from-work attire. Cowboy hats to business suits. Tattoos and obvious church attenders wearing crosses on necklaces. There was a bench Glen and I could sit on in that waiting area which was good because due to his neurological situation, he cannot stand in one place for more than a minute. He does not have the balance for it. And that would have been fine except that from that room, you could not hear a thing that was being said in the meeting room. We stayed through the prayer (I could tell because people closer to the door were bowing their heads) and the Pledge of Allegiance (I could tell because people closer to the door were reciting it along with the others) and we realized that our presence at that point was, well, pointless. 
A little girl and her mama were sitting next to us on our bench and the girl, who told me she was seven, was understandably antsy. I had brought a notebook which was actually a sketchbook and a pen to take notes which were obviously going to be useless and I asked the darling child if she liked to draw pictures and she assured me she did. I handed her the book and the pen and said, "You can draw pictures in this," and she looked at her mama to see if that was okay, and it was, and she began to draw a little girl who looked much like her and I was quite surprised at how well she drew. 
"Is that you?" I whispered. She nodded. "You are a very good artist," I told her and she thanked me. 
When it became apparent to Glen and me that really, there was no need for us to be there, we took our leave but before we left, I offered the sketch book and pen to the little girl to keep. I was having to fight my grandmotherly urge to hug her up by then. I really did want to squish her with my love, just as I'd wanted to squish those little soccer players last Saturday. Again she looked at her mother who nodded yes. To the sketchbook and pen, not the squishing.
And then we came home. 
And here we are. 
I saw another across-the-street neighbor there and I know she is a persistent and dedicated woman and defender of Lloyd and she said she'd let us know what happened. She didn't have a seat in the meeting room either but she did have a place in the doorway into it so she could hear what was being said, at least. 
The neighbor who's been doing so much work to educate us and to get in touch with the county commissioners had to leave today because she's headed off to go and stay with her daughter to help her with her new baby son. But we owe her a huge acknowledgment for all the work and research and being in touch with the proper people she's done. And for making and distributing the fliers that have alerted people to what's going on. 

So we shall see what the outcome of this outpouring of community voices will be. 

And besides all of this, Hank took me to lunch today! It was so fun. I can't remember the last time Hank and I got time to ourselves. As happens with all my kids, we talked and talked and laughed and laughed and it was good. My first baby is turning fifty in June and no, I can't believe that, and yes, I was a young thing when I had him, and he is planning a week at the coast in a beautiful house with a pool where his friends can come and celebrate with him at their leisure. So we talked about that a lot amongst many other things. 
We even visited the thrift store right next door to where we ate and that was fun too. 

I am the luckiest mother in the world. As my children have grown into adults our relationships have changed, of course, and I have been feeling the balance of things sliding evermore from me being the mother/caretaker to the mother/friend who is constantly learning from them about so many different things and who patiently listen to me as I talk about the changes in my own life as I age, and assure me that I am loved. 
Hank described himself today as the "lore keeper" of a very longtime dear and beloved friend of his, a virtual part of the family, and I loved that phrase. 
"Lore keeper."
When he said that, I told him that he was the lore-keeper of me, too. 
I take great comfort in this knowledge. 

Before we went to the meeting this evening, I made a soup so that Mr. Moon and I would have something to eat when we got home. As usual, it has all the vegetables and although I did not have the time to make bread, I think I'll go make cornbread. 

It's been a day. It's been a week. 
It's been a life. 
A life I have been so fortunate to have shared with these people I call family. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Another Scatter-Shot Post

This is what I achieved in three hours. Meaning that small bit of glaze painting. Those are not the colors they will be after firing. 
Inshalla. 
The pink-looking color on the edges of the petals (or shall we call them the lips of the petals?) is supposed to look like this.

Candy Apple Red

And the sickly grey-looking color on the inner petals themselves will hopefully look like this.

Grapel

That is not a typo. "Grapel" is indeed the name. 
But who knows? And whatever colors they turn out to be after firing, will they dance a spicy tango together or will they fight? 
I'm hoping on the tango. I have no idea what color I'll paint the other petals nor do I envision what color the outer part of the bowl will be but probably green. A green of some sort, at least. And what will the center look like? There must be yellow for the pollen and beyond that, I don't know. I love the process of going through all my little bottles of glaze and looking up what the colors are supposed to look like after the heat of the kiln has its way with them, and then just quick-quick, reaching out and grabbing one I think I like, and going with that. 
I have no brush skills. I've taken exactly one art class in my life and the main project I did in that class was with a palette knife. And this was in the 8th grade, I do believe. One semester. And, oh yes- I have painted my finger and toe nails many times and I suck at that. 
So this is all a trip and an adventure and I am very, very slow and despite that, my painting is sloppy. I can't paint a wall, y'all. This fact has been proven over and over again. 
But oh well. 
I am having fun. 
Class was more sedate today. Not sure why. This is part of it, I guess. I don't think anyone was thrilled with what they accomplished. 
Perhaps the moon is not in the seventh house of pottery right now nor has Jupiter aligned with Mars. 
Or something. 

And why is Mercury ALWAYS in retrograde? 
I am curious about these things. 

Still, it was a good time, three hours of concentrating on painting two colors onto clay, general small talk, a few good laughs, learning some more about the women I am in class with. 
A funny thing happened. I was outside, sanding my bowl before I began the glazing process. This smooths out bumps and rough spots and so forth (in theory) and a man got out of his car which he had parked in a spot right across from where I was working and said in the most jovial tone, "What are you sanding?"
"Uh. A bowl," I said. I mean...really?
"Can I see it?" he asked. 
And so I showed it to him and I could tell he was not overwhelmed with admiration but he said something like, "Nice!" and I felt exactly like a child when an adult tries to make conversation with them although the guy wasn't weird or creepy or anything but very friendly, as amiable as a Labrador sniffing your legs and offering his head for a good scratch. 
It was weird but it wasn't weird weird.
And other things happened after pottery including Lily going to lunch with us again wherein I learned even more from her about things that are sexual in nature or in the neighborhood of that. For instance, did you know that women who ply their trade as sex workers at truck stops are called "Lot Lizards?" 
How could I be 71 years old and not know this? 

Dang. 

And on that note, may I say that I have buried the lede here. About half an hour ago I got this text from my across-the-street neighbor:

Great news. I talked with Austin Hosford today, our County Commissioner and we all are on to same page. He does not agree with Kundra's request and does not want to change the land code if the community is not behind it! He appointed 2 planning commissioners from Heritage Hills who also support this viewpoint. It still will be important to show up at the meeting to convince the other planning commissioners. I also pointed out that Kundra intends to sell the property which would  anyone to do as they please. 

Given what Kundra said in the article in the Monticello News, the current code would accommodate a pharmacy, urgent care, etc. under mixed use suburban residential.

And then this:

Austin was a reasonable person to talk to, even though he ran as a Republican. 

As you can see, I have some wonderful neighbors. And it looks like we have a very good County Commissioner. 
Again I say, "Inshallah." 

Glen's been catching some very fine fish up there at the cabin when he's not working his ass off, doing carpentry stuff. 

And this is what his sunset looked like tonight. 

I'm going to go heat up the tofu and vegetable stir fry I made on Monday night. I believe I will add some fresh peas I got at the Asian market today. I mean, they need shelling but I think I can do that. 

Oh! Here's a thing I saw on the wall of a restroom I was in today.

Amen. That is our spiritual message for today. 

Some of us are Buddhist Monks who walk thousands of miles through snow and ice for peace and some of us get our wisdom from bathroom walls which is nothing like Simon and Garfunkel were singing about when they said, "And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls..."

I honestly am so humbled by those monks as I think we probably all are and to be honest, Paul Simon's songs have gotten me through some very tough times.  

Meanwhile...

Love...Ms. Moon

 

This One's Hard To Pin Down

Here are two more camellia blooms I picked off the original bush in this yard. The one I showed you the other day was pink and these are more to the red side of the spectrum. The bush has both colors. This is not completely unusual. If you are interested enough to find out about this phenomena, you can go to THIS LINK wherein you'll find a little explanatory video. It's only 1:36 minutes long and hell, I learned some things from watching it. 
Not to insinuate that I know a damn thing about the cultivation and breeding of camellias because I don't. I really need to drive over to the other side of Tallahassee to go visit Maclay Gardens which is a state park. They have bazillion camellia shrubs, some over a hundred years old. And you can read about that HERE.
The gardens really reach their peak sometime next month when the azaleas are also in bloom. If the azaleas have survived these freezes enough to open this year. 

It's been an anxiety day. I believe the reality of this proposed development has hit me hard. 
Y'all- I'm scared. As if we weren't all scared enough at this particular point in time. I'm trying not to freak. It's quite possible that the county commissioners and city planner will see the absurdity of this proposal and deny the whole rezoning plan. 
And it's quite possible the opposite will happen. And no matter what happens this go round, something is going to be built on that land and probably sooner rather than later. It's inevitable. The exit and entrance from and to I-10 there is just too juicy of a money-making possibility to pass up. It's the first exit for west bound traffic before you get to Tallahassee and on top of that, the property has been empty for ages. There WAS a truck stop there for many years but it was a small affair and the "restaurant" was closed and finally, when it was discovered that there was a great deal of contamination of the site, the whole thing was shut down, torn down, and supposedly some of that contamination was ameliorated although I truly doubt it was. There's a shitty hotel right next to the interstate and I don't have the slightest idea why it's still in business. 
And here we are. 

So what did I do today? I had a great yearning to go thrift shopping. I felt that if I could lose myself in the leftovers of others' lives I might be soothed. So I went to the closest Goodwill but nothing caught my eye or tempted me in the least except for a very small vintage dish that was quite beautiful and of English origin. It was three dollars and I carried it around in my cart for an hour while I looked at place mats and napkins and dresses and skirts and shirts and when I decided there was nothing on those racks for me, I put the pretty little dish back to let someone else find and delight in it. 
And no, it did not help with my anxiety. The entire time I was there I was wondering why in hell I WAS there and I finally left and went to Publix and got a few things and came home and was so very glad to be here. 
So very glad to be in my home, the place that shelters and comforts me. The place I love. 
The place that is being threatened.

I have decided that I already own a dress pretty enough for any occasion. It is, in fact, a Johnny Was dress and May got it for me years ago. She found it at...Goodwill. I've hardly worn it, it's in perfect shape, and although it's a little big on me now, it will do. 
It will do.

I believe the last time I wore this dress may have been on New Year's Eve in Cozumel in 2016. 

Who WAS that woman?  
The dress is quite sheer and I have to wear a slip under it and I need some sort of jacket to wear over it because I don't think it will be THAT warm where I'm going and I'm always cold these days anyway. And to put the cherry on top of the cowgirl (thank you, Tom Robbins, may your memory be a blessing) May also sent me a link to a site that sells tights and hose that are absolutely mind-blowing. 

These are just a very few that have caught my eye. 

I believe with the right pair of those gorgeous tights and a Levi's jacket over that gorgeous frothy confection of a dress, I might feel like myself and yet...well, pretty okay at the same time. 

I seem to be all about the links tonight. 

I'm tired. Anxiety will do that to you. 

Pottery tomorrow. I am so glad. I need that like a traveler across the Sahara needs the sweet water of an oasis. 
And so forth. 

Love...Ms. Moon