If Cursing Offends You, This One Is Not For You

I am just fucking cranky today. That's all there is to it. And things like these displays at the Costco have not helped. 
And actually, maybe I wasn't cranky so much as just not in the mood to take any shit. I think I was pretty sweet to my husband and Jessie when we had lunch together and I was nice to our server because she didn't annoy the living hell out of me and when I made a funny face at a little guy in a cart at Costco and he smiled and started waving to me I felt like I'd been handed a hundred silver dollars. 
But when a woman behind Jessie and me in line waiting to get our carts checked with our receipts started saying things like, "This is totally inappropriate!" because for whatever reason there was only one employee doing that instead of the regular two and then, when the Karen said, "I'm going to start going to Sam's!" I really, really wanted to turn around and say, "Well, please do, lady. Get your spoiled white hiney over to Sam's and see if they recognize your obvious superiority to the rest of us who are waiting patiently in line."
And I don't know. She may have been on her way to an appointment to get her gallbladder removed. 
Probably not, but you know what I mean. 
And I considered that perhaps she was going through something I had no idea about and shouldn't judge her and then my evil side came back out and said, "Fuck that."
And then, and THEN, when the guy in the liquor store said, in response to something, "There's a purpose for everything," I said, "And it's not always a good one."
Then he started talking about how even when it appeared to be something bad, we could always choose to learn something from it. 
And of course he was probably about thirty-two years old, if that. 
So I said, "Yeah, I used to believe that too." Which was truly just rude. I admit that.
And I guess I did used to believe in the theory that everything happened for a reason and blah, blah, blah. Now I pretty much just believe that random shit happens and some of it is really, really fucked up. Of course you can choose to learn that from a bad experience. Which isn't very positive. 
I think about Glen's friend. 
Y'all- he is not doing good. His prognosis is not the best. At all. And despite what is probably the best medical care he could be getting from various doctors who are all specialists in their fields, he is not responding to treatment. A week ago, he was a seemingly healthy, hale man and then within moments, he was in danger of dying. 
What's the purpose of that? What can he or his wife or his family or any of us choose to learn from that?
Oh sure. Life is tenuous. We never know from one moment to the next what's going to happen. But do we not all already know this? Was his condition laid upon him by the universe for others to learn from? 
Oh hell no. 

Okay. One more thing. And this is really petty. 

I was at Publix. As I so often am. And the woman who was bagging my groceries is a manager of some sort. First she asked me if I needed help unloading my cart. I had about five things left to put on the belt and none of them were heavy in the least. Plus, they were all right there in the child seat place. I didn't even have to lean over to retrieve them. At first I really didn't understand what she was asking. Obviously I didn't need any Gee Dee help. I was doing just fine unloading bananas and light bulbs. 
But then, when I went to take my groceries out to the car, I realized she had packed my big canvas bags so lightly that some of them literally had one item in them. A bunch of bananas in one bag. A tray of okra, some ginger root, and a bag of Pepperidge Farm stuffing in another. Do I really look this old and incapacitated? 
When I got to the car, I rebagged the items. She had my stuff in six bags and I easily condensed them into three. And then, just to prove how very not incapacitated I am, I carried those bags, plus the bags holding my Costco groceries in one single trip into the house. Plus my purse. Plus my thermal water bottle. 
See this, lady? Yeah. I sure showed her, didn't I? 

And none of it should have upset me like this. None of it. 
Okay. Maybe the Karen. Karens upset everyone. Well, except other Karens or Mr. Karens. 
It's just...life. 

I wonder what I'm really angry about. I honestly do not know. Quite possibly the fact that I am aging at a not insignificantly rapid rate and even worse, I look like it. 
Even as I feel younger than I have in years. 
Mostly. 
Well, pretty much. 
And I was even wearing a really cute dress! With pearl earrings that I discovered I owned when I took a bracelet I had hanging on my bathroom wall off it's little nails (storage AND decor) and which I had no memory of ever having. The earrings. Not the bracelet. I got that and also another outrageous vintage bracelet from Lynn, years and years ago and as I recall, she knew someone who'd had a house fire and everything smelled like smoke so she was getting rid of all of it and Lynn took the bracelets, thinking I'd like them. 
I love them. 

These charms are huge which is why a pair of earrings with relatively large "pearls" could be hidden behind them. 
I should actually wear these bracelets. And isn't that what an old lady would and should do? Wear crazy costume jewelry that clanks and clinks when it moves? That has missing stones and has perhaps lost its luster? 
I've never thought of myself as a "big" jewelry type of woman but perhaps it's time to simply move into that stage of age and accept the fact that if not now, when? 

I know I look like an old lady. I have white hair, my skin is...well, let's face it...ill-fitting as I said the other day. My bosoms are exactly what a pair of bosoms that joyfully and successfully breastfed four babies with should look like (and no bra-like garment is going to change that fact) and my ear lobes, no matter what beautiful earrings dangle from them are stretched and Buddha-like. 
Still. I am not yet too weak to carry more than one bunch of bananas at a time. 
That day, if I live long enough, will come. 
Until then, please don't condescend to me and make assumptions based on nothing but age discrimination. 
And don't say stupid shit about how everything has a purpose which is exactly like saying, "God's ways are not our ways," and also, if you don't have the patience to wait forty-five seconds in a line at Costco, just order your shit from Amazon. 
Okay? 
Spare the rest of us your inability to be comfortable with the fact that we are all in this together, whether it's a line or a life. Can you imagine having a life in which something like there only being one employee checking receipts is a major disruption in your day? That it could be labeled as "inappropriate"? Oh honey, I could tell you about inappropriate and that ain't it. That ain't even close. 

Carry on. 

Love...Ms. Moon

 

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

I got up this morning and glanced through Heather Cox Richardson's newsletter which today was mostly about how the Republicans do not intend to give up the majority they hold in the House and the Senate and a few of the vile ways they could go about that and the possibility they will. 
I believe "the end of democracy" was mentioned as a result of all of that. 
And then the NYT's and a few other news sources increased my worries and fears about AI and I see that Obama has come out to warn about the very real threats to, uh, humanity that even the AI guys are talking about and I just thought, "Well. Is this going to be it?"
I really have no understanding of AI and how it works and how it appears that it is able, at this point, to, well, do things that could kill us all. I read that some expert said that we need to stop thinking about it as a technology and start thinking about it as an alien species. 
And again- well. Sure. But it all sounds so very impossible, so Sci-Fi, so outrageous and yet...Obama? The man is not an alarmist.
I feel like I need to sit down with Hank or Vergil or Michael and see if one of them (all of them) could tell me in the language that a seven-year old could understand what in hell is happening here. One minute we're all worried that AI is being used by college students to write their essays and the next we're talking a 10% chance that it's going to wipe out our species? 
It's so overwhelmingly inconceivable to me that I really can't believe it and yet, I do believe it. 
None of what's going on seems to make any sense to me. Not the AI, not the absolute disregard for the Constitution and the fact that a convicted rapist who is rapidly falling into dementia's cruel arms although, that's not really the problem, he's always been a complete asshole, is our president. I mean, just the fact that this Natalie Harp woman seems to have stepped in to the First Lady's shoes is beyond belief and that's not even a tiny pimple on the butt of the problem. 
And I believe with all of my heart that this war in Iran which is fucking up the economy of the entire world including ours to the detriment of all was started for no other reason than as a distraction from the Epstein files. 
In short- people are dying and starving and in very, very dire situations because Trump is a pedophile. 
I don't think that's just a theory. I think it's a fact. And I am no conspiracist. 

So what do we do in these days which seem so impossibly bizarre? 

I guess we make breakfast. 
We feed the crows. 
We make the bed. 
We do the laundry. 
We drink our coffee and we look up and we look all around us and maybe we'll see more hurricane lilies shooting up. 

I mean- what else can we do? What else can I do? 
I kissed my husband when he got home from spending the night at the hospital. I watered the porch plants and put on my overalls and went out to the garden, determined to cut and clear some of the pumpkin vines to make room for the mustard greens, the collard greens, the turnip greens, the lettuces. 

The vines have taken over and show no signs of slowing their roll. 
But you know me. Cutting back living plants which are still producing blooms and fruit is almost more than I can bear to do. I did a little bit. Not enough. I pulled up a few spent pepper plants. I weeded the patch of arugula I planted. I picked another pumpkin. Quite honestly, if I let the ones that are maturing ripen and pick them, that will be quite enough pumpkins. 

It's still too hot for me to work in the sun for more than an hour. I suppose I could but I also suppose I could experience the very first fainting episode of my life and I am not interested in that. 
In the least.

And so I sat back down and painted a little more on my fish who only seems to grow happier and happier. 

It's slow going but I listen to audio books as I work and it's a pretty perfect way for me to spend time. I downloaded a new book yesterday in a sort of desperation stab because it almost seems as if I've heard every audio book available on Libby, although of course I have not. 
I'm sick and tired of being offered either ridiculous rom-coms or sinister thrillers and the book I chose is neither. 

I'd never heard of the book or the author and in looking him up, I found this short author bio: 

James A. Levine

Born and educated in England, James A. Levine is a professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic who has worked with impoverished children in the United States and internationally for more than thirty years. He has won more than fifty major awards in science, consulted to numerous governments, and lectures to humanitarian groups around the world. He is the author of the novel The Blue Notebook.

That was last updated in 2014 so...
Still, the book is shockingly good. I really don't know how to describe it beyond that. 
I am so glad it was offered on my Libby list. Was that AI? 
I have no idea. 
I really have no idea about anything. 

Glen's friend's situation has not changed. He is still in ICU. Glen said that he has been very surprised at what good and attentive care he seems to be getting, from techs to aids to nurses to doctors. 
A week. A week ago he was a strong, able, reasonably fit man. 

Again I say to you- love the ones you're with. Tell them you love them. Show them you love them. And let them love you. 

On a completely non-related topic, I know that many of you are experiencing yet another Blogger problem in that your list of the blogs you read is not being updated. 
I do not use that method of keeping track of updated blogs. I use an app called Feedly. Check it out. Since I use the most basic form of it, it's free and it works well for me at least, and you know that means it can't be that difficult to figure out. There are others available. 

Anyway, good Lord willin', the creek don't rise and AI doesn't kill us all tonight, I'll see you tomorrow. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Untitled

Well, I have been a hunting widow, a fishing widow, a working-on-the-log-cabin widow, an auto auction widow, and Lord knows what all else. 
And tonight I am alone because Glen is spending the night in the intensive care unit with his friend so that his friend's wife can go home and sleep in her own bed and just...have a moment. Since last Monday I don't think she's hardly left the hospital and as we all know, if you don't take care of yourself, you certainly can't take care of anyone else. 
It was one week ago today that Glen and his friend were out on the Gulf. 
One week. 
I don't think things have changed much as to his friend's condition. Glen sent me a picture yesterday of the IV bags they have with meds and fluids and nutrition running into his veins and I could count at least twelve. 
I believe he's on six different antibiotics because they're still not sure what the infectious agent is and it's possible it's not even bacterial, but viral, and that would require an entirely different treatment. Maybe they got results back from lab tests today. As I've said, I'm only getting this information third or fourth hand. 
I remember when Glen's sister was in the ICU many years ago, and how he would spend the night with her, too. Of course there's nothing any of us non-medical people can do in reality but there is great comfort in knowing that if the person in the bed can somehow sense a loving presence beside them, that's enough. 
That is enough. 

I wish I was half the person, the kind of friend that Mr. Moon is. 

But I am not and I spent my day doing a little of this, a little of that. I got my sweeping done, I took the trash. It would appear that the Stillwater Farm Shop is now open. I did not stop and go in. For one thing, I wasn't wearing even a bra-like garment and for another, I had no money on me. After having looked at their newest posts online, I don't think I would have really wanted to buy anything anyway. The shelves where the My Gypsy Soul Boutique kept things like "natural" seashells and homemade soaps and local "art" and...I can't remember...now seem to hold a few small pumpkins, honey, and some other unidentified objects. I see a few tee shirts, a few little mugs, a few mums in pots, and a cooler with what is probably raw milk in it. 
I saw a cross on the wall but I saw no eggs. Or produce. Or homemade soap for that matter. Let's face it- the shelves and the shop are mostly empty. 
Well, good-luck. 

We've gotten more rain and that has caused some rotten branches to drop. I saw this in the front yard.

The photo is deceptive as to size. I filled up the garden cart with its various parts. 

Such beautiful lichens, fungi, and mosses.

And then there's this mushroom, growing from one of the stumps where I feed the crows.

And I finally set everything else aside and got out Dottie-Frances and my paints and brushes and that was the best. 

I work slowly and yet, my lines and my colors are still untidy. 
But. 
As I said the other day, that's me. 

I guess I'll go make myself some supper. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Remembering This And Remembering That

I took this screen shot yesterday morning of my Merlin bird identifier app which is offered free from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. I was mostly wondering if the crows who come to dine here are really crows or if they are, in fact, ravens. They're so big! Like twice the size of regular crows. But the app said they are American crows and I suppose I'll trust it. What surprised me was the number of different birds the app was picking up. Some of them I was not surprised about- our regular visitors like the Carolina wrens and the cardinals and blue jays but frankly, I don't think I knew that woodpeckers, either downy or pileated, make calls. Of course they do! There were more coming in every second but that's the screen shot I got at that moment in time. 
I just looked up a video on what the pileated woodpecker sounds like and of course I recognize that sound! I hear it all the time! 

I swear. The older I get, the more I realize I do not know. The more I realize I do not even know enough to even wonder about what I do not know. If there's one thing about dying that makes me feel a little sad, it's that I'll die without the slightest idea of all that I've missed, right here in front of me. Forget the things I don't know about history or botany or architecture or art or music or biology or how electricity works- I'm talking about the very birds that live in my yard, the spiders, the wasps, the favorite foods of my loved ones, the tides, the constellations right above my head, and how Keith Richards has managed to live this long. How I'VE managed to live this long. 
It's all crazy miraculous to me and perhaps that's the best way to look at it all. 
Still. I should freaking know what a pileated woodpecker's call sounds like. And now I do. 

We got rain today. For once the forecast did not lie. It has rained on and off most of the day. Not a great amount at any one time and not exactly steadily but in the coming and going of it, we are definitely a bit less thirsty here. 
I was going to get so much done!
Story of my life. And in one way, I did. My oldest constant friend from childhood called me and we talked for two hours and twenty minutes and had not even begun to run out of things to say. When she called I had just started making a little headway with my goal today which was to sweep the entire house thoroughly. I'd gotten my bathroom done and had almost finished up with our bedroom but when that girl called, I knew what was about to happen and I just sat my butt down and let everything else go. 
Both of us know what's important and we are important to each other. The best of friends since sixth grade and we share the kinds of memories that you probably would not tell your children about. 
Like the day we were part of a small group of people in a Karmann Ghia who blew up a gas station? Okay, I'd tell my kids about that. I didn't crash into the gas pump. I wasn't holding the beer. 
Still. 
You know what I mean. And that incident is hardly the most scandalous thing we may or may not have been involved in. As we always end up saying to each other- it's a damn miracle we survived. And yet we did, and here we are, and our lives continue to present us with situations that we need to talk about, discuss, empathize with,  relate to, and laugh about. 
Laugh about. That's probably the most important thing. After all these years, we can and do still laugh. 

So that's mostly what I did today. Oh, of course I washed the sheets and remade the bed with them. I have a loaf of the high-fiber, high-protein bread in the oven and I am going to cook some more scallops. Last night's supper was truly a southern delight although I put too much garlic in the pork roast if that's even possible. 
Trust me. It is. 

And the cobbler? It didn't need no stinkin' whipped cream or ice cream either one. It was pretty perfect as it was. 

I believe Dolly would approve. Granny Mathews too. 

Should I talk about 9/11? 

What more could I add to the somber discussion of that day? What I've been thinking about is how I have such a very, very strong memory of it, even the part of the morning before I knew it had happened. Was happening. I was just thinking about this the other day, how it almost seems like my brain took a clear and crisp photograph of that day and presented it to me in such a way I would never forget it, both the before and after. I remember specific details of Lon and I driving to pick up Lis at the hospital where she had had gall bladder surgery. I think. That part I am a little fuzzy about. It may have been an appendectomy. When we walked into her room, she had the TV on and said, "Have y'all seen this?" and we watched as the Twin Towers fell in a cloud of smoke and we had no idea what we were really watching and yet somehow, Lis got checked out of the hospital and we drove to a pharmacy to get her prescriptions filled but before all of that, I can completely recall Lon's and my discussion in the car about a dream he'd had the night before and I remember how I interpreted it and of course, as everyone remembers, no matter where they were, how beautiful the sky was that day. How blue and clear and cloudless. Empty of clouds.
How perfect. 

I know I've posted one version or another of this song by Bruce Springsteen on many anniversaries of that unfathomably unbelievable day. Here's another. 

I still don't understand. I doubt anyone does. 
But it happened. 

And nothing will ever be quite the same again. 

So. Here's Bruce. And his wife Patti Scialfa.

Music often says what most of us cannot. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Cooking And Comfort And Cats And Caladiums And Fish

Aaaannndddd- We're back! 
So yeah, that's the caladium plate/platter/tray. 
Not wildly exciting, is it? Dadgummit! Nor is it shaped properly to be very useful as any of those things except possibly a tray and even then, not really. But here's what it looks like with persimmons on it. 

As you can see, it is rather large. Also, I think, a little too tidy for my style. I followed the lines way too closely. This is not who I am.
By the way, the persimmons came from Jessie and Vergil's persimmon tree. They have a dang orchard now. 

My fish plate/platter/tray is well begun now. 

I believe we could safely say she's a Lady Fish. See why I'm calling her Dottie? I have no idea what inspired me to go with a polka dot theme but who needs a reason with a fish like this? It took me the entire two and a half hours to get that much done on her. I really, really want to work on her at home this week. I can hear her calling me from the canvas bag she's in, wrapped in newspapers. 
"Make me beautiful!" she is saying. "I long for my transformation!"

Oh! And as for the little fish...sigh.

Due to the fact that I got glaze on the bottom of it and didn't wax over it, the firer put what they call a cookie underneath it and now she's stuck to the cookie. Which broke. Gail told me to try freezing it and then running hot water over it to see if they'll come apart. 
Ummm...not so far. 

Here's another thing I learned today- if you freeze whipping cream and then thaw it and try to whip it, well, it won't. Not really. You'd think at the age of 72 I'd already know this, wouldn't you? 
The reason I wanted to whip some cream is because I made a peach cobbler. And the reason I made the peach cobbler is because I had some peaches and nectarines I'd bought which weren't fit to eat fresh as they were hard and mealy but I didn't want to waste them so I peeled them and cut them up and made Granny Mathew's recipe which is exactly the same recipe Dolly Parton quotes in Steel Magnolias, only she uses fruit cocktail instead of canned peaches. 
You know- the cuppa, cuppa, cuppa recipe?

Although as you can see, if you use fresh fruit, it's a cuppa, cuppa, cuppa, cuppa peach cobbler. I did use fresh fruit but I did not use another cup of sugar. Instead, I mixed in some of this stuff.

Since it is sweetened ONLY with fruit juice, it is so much healthier for us, right?  Let us not kid ourselves. Sugar is sugar and fruit juice has tons of it. But, the cherries will be a little surprise for Mr. Moon when he goes to eat it. 
And just as Dolly says in the movie that she serves this dessert with ice cream to cut the sweet, I wanted some whipped cream for the same purpose but, oh well. If Mr. Moon wants some ice cream he can run up to the GDDG to get some. 

Oh! Here's what the cobbler looked like, right out of the oven.

I tried to talk myself out of buying that pretty little green casserole dish at some thrift store (and it came with a nice lid) because I did not need yet another pretty little casserole dish but I am so glad I did not. I have used it so many times in the past few months. It's such a good size for two people. 

I also made some chili crisp today as I am almost out of it but it ain't right. I don't know what I did wrong but it's just not right. I don't really use a recipe which has now come back to bite me in the ass. 
It may taste good enough to eat anyway. We'll see. 

AND, I am cooking a Boston butt pork roast in the slow cooker to make pulled pork sandwiches with. I have obviously spent a great deal of time in the kitchen today. I now have a small pot of field peas cooking to go with the sandwiches and will make some cole slaw.
Phew! 

I am trying, I think, to offer comfort food to my husband. The news is not good for his friend. I'm not sure they have a specific diagnosis yet which could be hindering the proper treatment but are waiting on lab results from a lumbar puncture. Many, many tests and scans have been done. He is still very much in the ICU. 
Again, I don't want to go into detail but it's devastating to those who love him and Glen is one of those. This man has big feelings. I realized that soon after I met him and it's one of the things that made me take him seriously as a suitor. And it's still something I very much respect and love about him. 
And get this- Maurice, who for the last few months has been treating him like he's scarier than Frankenstein's monster, just spent a very long time, completely relaxed, sleeping on his lap. 

She knows. She knows he needs that comfort and indeed, that did comfort him. Crazy as she is, she is a very fine nurse kitty. 

We got some really good rain today. Not for a long time but far better than nothing. There was some of the loudest thunder going on I've ever heard. It was glorious. 

And oh- look at this.

Gail was right. I froze the little fish and then actually soaked her and the cookie in hot water and she slid right off. 
A tiny thing, but hell, I'll take whatever I can get right now in this world of ours as it appears to be falling into complete and utter frightening chaos.
A fish, that became free of its cookie. Yes. Thank you.

And hey, y'all- tell the ones you love that you love them. Life is far more tenuous than we can possibly imagine. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Mostly Third World Problems, Part Two Thousand, Nine Hundred And Forty-Seven

Well, Blogger doesn't seem to want to post any photos of mine, either from the ones I drag from photos to the desktop or directly from the photos library. 
Really, Blogger? Not being able to make comments or receive comments wasn't really a national emergency but the inability to share my life via photographs is simply a disaster. 
Haha! 
And I have pictures of my fired caladium plate and the tiny fish as well as the work I did this morning doing glaze painting on Frances although her name may now be Dotty but who cares? 
Who really cares? 
Turns out, not even me. 

Eh. It's been that sort of day. When I got up this morning I truly wanted to text Jessie to tell her that I just could not make it. As usual, no real reason. It wasn't that hard to get up. When the alarm went off, I was dreaming that pottery class was taking place at my house and somehow Gail, our teacher, wasn't there so I was sort of in charge since it was my house and I was walking around asking people things like, "And what are you working on here?" because even in my dreams I am aware that I don't know shit about pottery so I was just trying to show interest. 
And then, of course, people started needing to take showers and before I knew it, my bathrooms (so many of them!) were filled and getting so very messy, and wet and damp towels were piling up in corners which didn't upset me that much as I don't mind doing laundry but it was getting way ahead of me. 
So I combined both my obvious awareness of my ignorance when it comes to the process of making what I call "real" pottery and the usual dream situation in which there is so much mess and so much laundry that I can never catch up. 
Sigh. 
And of course I felt as if I'd already had a long day when in reality it hadn't even begun but I managed to get up and get dressed and eat breakfast and all that stuff and then I drove to town to pick up Jessie and it was all fine by that time. 
Class was rather quiet today and Gail's music playlist was excellent for me. Lots of Motown and some Bob Dylan and the Band and Leon Redbone. When Lizzy and I weren't talking I was singing to myself and even sang out-loud very softly to Leon's "Ain't Misbehavin'" because how could you not? 
So yes, my caladium got fired as well as the little fishy I did as a sort of I-have-forty-five-minutes-left-in-class project. You know- the one I thought I might make a few of to hang on a wall together? 
I do like the fishy very much. It is far from perfect in any sense of the word but it is quite colorful. The caladium platter is...okay. It's not atrocious and it's all in one piece but it's not what I would call exciting. 
I'd show you a picture but...

And then I got out my glazes and paintbrushes and went to work on the big fish platter and I so enjoyed that. You know what I love the most about these fish? It's that I really have no idea what colors I want to use, what color-scheme I think would be good. 
I just don't. 
But then my hand reaches out to one of my stroke-and-coat bottles and I squeeze a little bit onto the small palette and dip a brush in it, and there we go. It's just so damn...fulfilling. 
I can't explain it. 

So class was good. There were some excellent things being made, both on the wheel and by hand-building and a lot of people were pleased with what they were doing which makes for a very, very good day. 
Along with a Motown-heavy play list. 

Gentleman Caller couldn't make it today as he had responsibilities to attend to but as I told Lizzy, we would have to be satisfied with whatever time he could give us and then I told her to please be sure and tell him I'd said that. 
I hope she does. 

Jessie and I went to lunch which was not exciting (salad bar) but we got some good talking done. And then, even though I'd gone to Publix yesterday, I'd forgotten my list and had a few things I had forgotten so I stopped by there and also Native Nurseries where I bought seeds and a Christmas present for someone I love. 
I bought a Christmas present in September! 
Yeah, yeah. 

I came home. Glen was still at the hospital. His friend is not doing well. I don't think I should give a whole lot of information out about this because...privacy. But I'll just say he's in intensive care now. They may have a diagnosis but it's not one you would wish on yourself or a loved one. 

It's raining about one drop per minute here which isn't really rain. I am feeling rather old and ugly and tired and like my skin suit does not fit. Not the kind of skin suit that those crazy young people mean when they are talking about how synthetic or robotic entities slangily refer to organic humans in Sci Fi or gaming. 
I had to look that up on the Google. Of course. 
No. Not that sort of skin suit. The kind that is my own skin which covers all the stuff that skin covers. Not only does it not fit anymore, it has the protective ability of a piece of tissue paper which is simply not adequate to living life. I am becoming a BandAid aficionado. 

Still can't download photos. 
You're not missing much. Trust me. 

Love...Ms. Moon

P.S. When Mr. Moon and I had been together for about a month, we traveled to New Orleans together. It was freezing cold. There was no running water in the city because all the pipes had burst. But- New Orleans. They soldiered on. We went from bar to bar, drinking Irish Coffee, warming our bodies and souls. We found ourselves in a small bar one evening and there were only a few people there but there was a piano and a man playing it. He began to play "Ain't Misbehavin" and I, high on new love and quite possibly an Irish Coffee or two, stood by him at the keyboard and began to sing this song. 
I had never and have never since, done anything like this. 
It was short and sweet and I will never forget the smile that man gave me, the bit of applause that small crowd offered me. 
 

I did not embarrass myself. I will never forget it. 

A Musing On Cats And Marriage

I took two photos today and both of them were of Maurice. I spent most of the day in town and I don't think y'all need a picture of Costco. Or Publix. Or even Oak Tree Treasures, as lovely as it is. 

I have no idea what Maurice was examining there but it must have been some sort of little critter. 

I was thinking the other day about Maurice bringing me mice and other delectable meat treats and it occurred to me that I get so excited when I think the crows have brought me a gift of any sort but when Maurice brings me something my reaction is invariably, "Dammit, Maurice! What the fucking fuck?" 
And that's so wrong. 
That cat went out and hunted with forethought. She wanted to catch something to give to me which she did. She then brought it into the house or on the porch, leaving it where she knows I'll come across it because she is more familiar with my paths and patterns than I am myself, and on top of all of that, whatever she's brought me is almost always so unmarked by struggle or blood that she must have made a quick, lethal kill which is also not nothing. It's almost like someone giving you an entire ice cream cone, unlicked, whole, and all for you, rather than handing you a soggy mess of cone with most of the ice cream gone saying, "Here. You want this? I've had all I want." 

We can say what we will, or at least I can say what I will, about Maurice's very odd and not always pacifistic behavior but in giving me these gifts she is showing her love and concern for me in the way she knows best. She has to think about doing it, create a strategy, do it, and deliver it. 
And instead of praising her or marveling at her hunting abilities, her obvious affection for me, I yell at her, mostly in profane ways. 
Why IS this? Well, because I don't like finding dead animals in my house or on my porch. I am obviously not going to eat them, and obviously they must be disposed of which is not a pleasant task. 
But. Their meaning to the cat is completely and purely altruistic and in the end, that is what matters, isn't it? 
And it is such a feline thing to do. What would the canine equivalent be? The only thing they bring humans are balls and sticks that the human can throw for them which brings the dogs much pleasure and I guess, shows that the dog enjoys interacting with the human and that's nice. But it's not the same. 
I realize that dogs show their affection in different ways. Defending their humans sometimes. We all know stories of dogs who have protected their owners or the children of their owners or somehow got the attention of another human when their human is in a dangerous situation. 
"Timmy's in the well!" 
I've heard of cats doing things like this too, but they are not known for it, like dogs are. 

And this is not a cats versus dogs thing. Or even a cats versus crows thing. Crows are wild animals, and as such, are not generally expected to interact with humans in the ways that a domesticated animal would although it would seem that cats are not domesticated in the least, but are essentially the same animals they were when they first began living with humans. A deal was struck. The cats would come into the living spaces of people and help rid them of vermin and the people would let them sleep by the fire or stroke them or even let them have a bite of mammoth entrail from time to time. 

So I've been thinking about all of this and realizing I don't give Maurice enough credit for doing the things for me she perceives as true gifts from the heart. 
I should at least maybe thank her before I start in with the cussing. 

Mr. Moon has gone to the hospital to see one of his very best friends and his best fishing buddy. There was an incident this morning which caused his wife to take him directly to the ER and they're trying to figure out what happened. 
Glen has had so many friends who have had medical problems or even terminal diagnoses lately, or who, in fact, have died. He takes each one with great sorrow. I don't think I'm being hyperbolic here. The man cares very, very much about his friends. 
And as he worries about his friend, I worry about him. He spent all day on a bush hog, clearing land at the property where he sometimes hunts, to get it ready for the season. He does not own this property and he never will. He may not even hunt it. He does love to put up the trail cams and watch what comes in to feed. Bears and raccoons and sometimes even deer. 
And after working all day long in this heat, I know he's exhausted and spent. Hell, I'm feeling complainy about having had to shop all afternoon. 
Poor baby. 
But his exhaustion is the serious kind, the kind where you sweat all day long, and I hate that he's not in his chair, resting now. I know he pushes himself too hard but I also know there's nothing I can do about it. There is simply no way he would not go to the hospital to see his friend and his friend's wife. I know that after all he did today, his legs are even less steady than usual. I asked him to please take his cane, thinking of those long, polished hospital hallways. 
For once, he listened to me. That alone tells you how tired he is. 

These are the things you never consider when you're young and crazy in love, standing in front of a justice of the peace or a notary or a preacher along with your family and your friends, and vow to love each other in sickness and in health. 
You have no idea what that even begins to mean. 
I often wonder if this is why older women at weddings are so apt to cry. 
They know. They do know.

Pottery tomorrow. 

Love...Ms. Moon