Monday, April 18, 2011

Like A Dream

It's such a quiet evening, my last one alone this week and I am feeling peaceful and fine.
I went to Monticello today to pick up a piece of equipment that Lon had left at the Opera House and then I drove to Tallahassee on the back road and it was such a beautiful day. I was behind a guy towing a horse trailer and he was doing fifty the entire time and it didn't bother me one bit.

I went to the library and in the parking lot, a guy with shiny, clear-varnished fingernails holding a big stack of papers asked me how I was doing and I said, "Very well, thank-you," and he said, "Glad someone's doing well in this recession," and I wanted to protest for some reason, tell him that.... what? There was nothing to say. I am doing well in this recession. We're not financially tearing it up, but we've managed to hold on to what we have and that's saying a lot.

He said, "Give me some gum," and I did. I gave him a stick of gum and he thanked me and I said, "You are so welcome," and I meant it.

One never knows what sort of person you will meet in the library and that's just the truth and one of the reasons I love the library so much. The homeless guys, napping by the big windows, the scruffy guy signing up for time on the computer. When he was asked his name, he said, "Joshua," so sweetly that I sort of wanted to know him. The hooded gangsta kid who was also signing up for internet time and the volunteer at the desk, a youngish Indian woman, treating each and every person with the same amount of dignity. The young mothers with children, trying to keep them all reigned in, holding stacks and stacks of kid books with one hand, pushing a stroller with the other. The older ladies in their funny outdoor hats, their purposeful, slightly limping stride.

I always end up loving the human race a little bit more when I go to the library.

After the library I went to a local used bookstore that my son loves. I went in and looked at the books on tape, fifty percent off and didn't want any of those and browsed around a bit. I ended up buying a copy of the first Larry McMurtry book I ever read, Moving On, because my copy has disappeared, which is fine. Books find their own ways in this world and for all I know, I was buying my very own copy but for five dollars, it was a bargain. Sometimes I just need to read that book. I've probably read it ten times but I'll read it again, I feel quite sure, and I need to have a copy of it. I was the young mother of two when I first read it and the way McMurtry writes, so plain and yet so filled with everything that needs to be told, just soothes me like nothing else. It starts out with a woman in a car in the parking lot of a rodeo, reading Catch 22 and eating a melted Hershey bar and licking the chocolate off her fingers and a young, tipsy cowboy comes and pees on her car and she says, "Go piss on your own car!" and the cowboy is so embarrassed, not having noticed she was sitting right there and so apologetic.
And it goes from there.

Well. It's mine again.

And I actually went to a restaurant, sort of. It's the kind of place where you order at the counter but then you have to sit down and wait for your enchilada and I started reading one of my library books and I ate every morsel, every jalapeno and tomato and bit of chicken and honestly, it was lovely if not really great, food-wise. There was no one else there, it was four o'clock in the afternoon and the manager kept asking me if I wanted a refill on my tea but I said no, I was fine, thank-you.
And I was.

When I was finally done with all my errands, I drove home and when I reached the big oaks of Lloyd, I was so happy. I could feel myself breathe again, truly and fully, and I unloaded my car and changed and got my clothes off the line and my clean, sun-dried sheets and made up my bed and tucked all the corners in and snuggled all of my many pillows into their clean cases and since then, I've just sort of been relaxing.

It's been so nice. I talked to Mr. Moon and we told each other we miss each other and that we love each other and I told him to be safe, the way you do. Be safe! and we have to say that because what if we don't and something happens?

He'll be home tomorrow night and his side of the bed will still be fresh and crisp and also, Owen is coming tomorrow and I haven't seen him since last Thursday and I miss him. I wonder what all he's learned since then. I wonder if he's still talking about the snake.

Here. I took these pictures a few hours ago before sunset. They're not great pictures- I had to take them through the screen. If I go outside with my camera, the birds fly away so...
Best I could do.

Mr. Cardinal taking a bath. His wife was on a low branch of the camellia bush right beside him, shy until he coaxed her in.

And then she joined him. I wish you could see them better.

Well, like I said, best I could do.

Ah-yah. I have so many leftovers to choose from tonight. Dinner will be an easy thing. I might turn on the TV, see what's happening in that world. Maybe an old movie.
And then to bed on those clean, crisp sheets, bleach-bleached and sun-bleached and then tomorrow, wake up and start it all again, this time with a grandson, this time with a husband coming home.

I walked today and saw the dewberries reddening up. I waved at Ms. Liola. I left my yard today and even my county. I have books to read with my eyes and with my ears. I gave a guy a piece of gum. I have food to eat.

Yeah. I am doing very well in this recession.
Very well indeed.

A piece of gum for a reminder of that is a very fine bargain and I am grateful to that guy with the painted fingernails for reminding me.


  1. I love this. I love that you are relaxing and feeling fine.


  2. Posted a whole long comment but don't know what happened to it, hate that!
    Thought of you at the library today, and how you love going there as much as I do :o)
    Larry McMurtry, I've read almost all of his books, his writing is like candy to me.
    Ah yes, the whole "be safe" thing. The man I love is gone for two weeks at a time and we talk many times a day, but I ALWAYS say i love you and be safe every single time, just in case...
    Have fun with Owen tomorrow, I bet he's learned a million new things since Thursday, he's a smart boy that one! And enjoy your peaceful evening...

  3. I didn't do a darn thing worth mention today, as it was cold and gray and windy, and I didn't leave the yard, but it's OK. I came here and read about your day and it was almost as good as an adventure I'd taken myself. So glad you had a good day and you have your boys back tomorrow.

  4. How wonderful --

    And I love the sentence: "Yeah. I am doing very well in this recession."

  5. Elvis looks MAGNIFICENT and those cardinals? Well let me say that redbirds are among that which I miss the most, after having pulled up stakes (or burned bridges--whichever) and moving to the glorious but wet-n-cold Pacific Northwest so as far as I'm concerned your best, there, is fantastic. In Lloyd, do people say "Red Bird: 's gonna rain!" as they do in Spartanburg? Well, ,only, I suppose, when they're swooping low.

    So many words to say ::thank you::

  6. Ah, the line is shorter today so I can check in and say.......
    I love those cardinals....I envy no red birds here but I do have an exquisite mockingbird who sings like an angel from on top of the telephone pole....(do they still call them that?)

    I also love you (and envy you) for getting out and doing all those long distance errands today....maybe I will get out tomorrow beyond the property line. Good on you.

    Oh, and I am crazy about that incredible photo of Elvis....please keep it around for a while.

    Did I mention I love you and love your every word?

  7. Libraries are places where I feel reverential. They are like a church to me. And the smell of the books is one of the best in the world.

  8. OPh Ms Moon...I just read that particular McMurtry book about 3 months ago and savored every word. It was an old book...smelled all musty and dusty and made me sneeze.

    Your birdbath is exactly like mine...the pedestal broke and mine sits on a big ole stump out back. We have tons of cardinals here....and every other bird you can imagine. My husband is a serious birder, and he is in heaven since we moved here 6 years ago.

    Lovely post. Libraries rock.

    Mmmm.... glad I came back to read again.

  9. I get so distracted re-reading books that I often set new ones aside.
    The cardinals are beautiful. We have a lot of them show up to our feeders.
    Rest well tonight and enjoy your day tomorrow when those two handsome men return to you.

  10. Ms. Fleur- We must all relax at some point!

    Tiffany- I did enjoy my evening and isn't it funny how we all do the same things? Be safe, honey. Be safe.

    Mel- My tiny, little adventures- well, I am glad I could share them.

    Elizabeth- Sometimes you just have to recognize the truth.

    x-ray Iris- No, we don't say that because if it really did rain every time we see a redbird it would be rainier than the Pacific NW. But I like the saying. I'm glad you're here.

    Lo- I'll keep that picture of Elvis until something better comes along. One never knows when something else will strike me. I did love that little froggie. Thanks for loving my words. I love you, too.

    Syd- Exactly!

    Akannie- Really? You just read that book? How amazing! It's an old one but a very good one. So many characters. No one does characters like McMurtry. Thanks for coming back. I mean it.

    Mel's Way- Aren't they just the most beautiful piece of scarlet? I think so.

  11. Did I tell you I read four novels this past weekend? I don't know, for months there I barely read anything which - you know - is unlike me. I'd start things and sort of wander off. All of a sudden, about two weeks ago, BAM, back to a book every two days. Good to be back at it.

  12. I love this post. Especially this: I always end up loving the human race a little bit more when I go to the library.

    It reminds me of something my dear Kurt Vonnegut would have said. How wonderful!

    I love you so.

  13. Those pictures do have a dreamy effect.

  14. Sitting in a quaint little breakfast spot in my neighborhood catching up on a few of your posts that I missed. So glad I am doing that with my morning off because I got to read this.

    I felt like I was walking right beside you. This post felt like a country stroll. . .a lovely departure from the honking horns and concrete hustle bustle I live in. Love it, love it. Thanks for letting us come along.

  15. Loved hearing about your jaunt, particularly the library. Perfect line about loving the human race a little more after going to the library. I feel the same way, more of the time. I think working there keeps me sane.

  16. DTG- No phone/internet=more reading. We may hate to admit this but it is true.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Well, it's the truth. Something Kurt V. was not afraid to speak.

    Stephanie- It was like that, too.

    gradydoctor- There's always room in my pocket and heart. Always.

    Bethany- I think of you every time I go to the library and it makes me so happy.

  17. Dearest Mary, another beautiful post. Your day sounds good.

    The birds are stunning. Another thing on my list a bird feeding table so we can watch them from my terrace. My dad has a whole set up and get tons of wildlife. I love it and I love you xx


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