Friday, April 1, 2011

Homemade Wedding

Well, I actually talked to people today to whom I am not related by either blood or marriage.

Jack and Jan came by to walk around and decide where they want to be married on the property and they decided on the side-yard over by the old, old barn which is a lovely place, bordered with bamboo and trees and canopied by the new-green oaks and dogwoods.

"And maybe," Jack said, "a train will come by!" He'd never noticed how close the tracks are.
Let me just say, very, very close.

I pointed out that the old barn looks almost church-like. Jan and Jack are both Episcopalians but they are being married by a good friend who is a Methodist minister and the Druidish among us shall be made happy by all the trees.
It will be lovely.

I told them that we'd tidy up the back yard and get rid of the dog shit and so forth and they said not to go to too much trouble but of course we want things to be nice. We want the bathrooms to be clean and for no one to have to step in dog poop and we need to do a tidy-up anyway, Lord knows we do. I am very much honored that they would want to have their wedding here. I mean, I love and adore this house and I think it is beautiful but there is paint flaking off the ceiling and mildew on the walls and an odor of dogs that no one will be able to erase in the one week we have before the ceremony.

Ah well.

I've spent most of today weeding in the little yard of my office and listening to a book on tape. Pearl has spent most of her day standing and watching me, keeping me company. She seems to want to stay close to me and that's fine with me. Perhaps she just wants me to make her another bowl of eggy mush goodness. And yes, that's probably it. But whatever the reason, it has been a fine day and I'm looking forward to having the yard and house looking nice and whatever huge sins there are will be covered up with bowls of roses and whatever else is blooming and scented candles and there will be food and drink and mostly the people here are going to be Opera House people and they've all been here before. They've seen it before. They will be here not to judge my gardening or housekeeping but to honor the love of Jan and Jack and we'll sit under the trees and watch them say the words that will bind them and most of us will cry.

I know I will.

I hope the weather is good so that this can all take place out of doors where the breeze will blow and the trees will offer shelter and the ground will be below our feet. Head in the clouds, feet on the ground is not a bad way to be married.

I love the idea of a handmade wedding. I often think of the wedding of Meg and John in Little Women and how everyone joined hands and danced around the bride and groom and even though the food and drink was humble and the service was held at home, there was so much love. Meg's dress was made by hand and so will Jan's be as Denise is making it from a pattern created from one of Jan's old, favorite dresses. Jack will be wearing a new Hawaiian shirt. The food will be made by them and the friends who come to celebrate. And Kathleen is making a chocolate cake.


There are benefits to aging and one of them is knowing what's important and what is not. To know that reducing the sauce of a thing to its essence is the best way to go. To know that it's not the matchbooks and napkins with the bride and groom's names on them, not the dress, not the DJ, not the band, not the number of attendants, not the menu, not the venue, not the hothouse flowers that matter.

It's the love.

I think we got that covered.

Oh yeah. I'm sure we've got that covered.

Jan and Jack are getting married here next Saturday. I'm excited.

When they left today and were getting in their truck, I hugged them and said, "Enjoy your last weekend of living in sin!" and they laughed.
"We'll sin all we can!" Jan said, and I hope they do.

And you know what else I hope?
I hope they live happily ever after.

And have good memories of a wedding under the trees in front of an old, old barn that looks a little bit church-like surrounded by people who love them. Really and truly and as honestly as the trees reach deep into the earth and at the same time, up into the sky.

That is my wish.

For Jan and Jack and for anyone who wants to be married, who is in love, gay or straight, transsexual or born-to-their gender, old or young. I believe in love and I believe in everyone's right to join in marriage to the person with whom they want to share their life, their heart, their secrets, their joys, their sorrows.

I do, as the vow says. I really, really do. And I think it's an honor to share in that binding. I think it's a reminder of why we're here and how we go on.

And that's all I have to say about that tonight.

Yours truly and with great hopes and good wishes...Ms. Moon


  1. I agree, Ms Moon, there is nothing better than a hand made, home made wedding, filled with love, and all the signs of life including the smell of dogs in the background and peeling paint and mildew. All the 'real' stuff of life and the things that matter.

  2. how very blessed you are..
    and I love that barn.. I didn't realize you had that on your property

  3. Ha! I remember being a flower girl at the age of four, studying those matchbooks!

    It will be beautiful. And it always makes me smile when you talk about the peeling paint and mildew!

  4. I wish that I could be a bird on one of those trees and watch the goings-on and sing a little song for the bride and groom and their dear friends.

  5. It sounds like a nice wedding. We were married at my parents home in the living room. It was really nice.

  6. It's going to be beautiful.


  7. It looks like a great location for a grown up wedding. I know you all will make it a lovely, heart felt day. Wish we could join you, but tell Jack and Jan that we are all there in spirit. x0 N2

  8. What a lovely and perfect place for a wedding.
    Lovely and perfect.

  9. So I am coming around to this idea about love that is related to the stars, how the stars were the first complex things in the universe, back when there was only hydrogen and helium, one inert and the other with nothing to react to, and how the stars had to be born and live their whole lives and then in their death throes they ejected out all the heavy elements that were necessary for everything else to come into existence, including, eventually and improbably, ourselves.

    so I have this beginning of an inkling of an idea that people like you and Angella Lister and some others, some rare others (but many that cluster here, like stars in the milky way), are an analogue to the early stars- you are filling up with love, and then shooting it back out into the teeming void and it will be because of you and people like you that the next big evolutionary step occurs.

    probably we will all be dead before it happens, and probably we need to be, just like those early stars.

    but, still, a measure of hope. if not for ourselves, then at least for someone or something else.

    a new baby world, maybe.



  10. Elisabeth- It's going to be beautiful! FULL of life!

    deb- That barn plays a role in the Disconnected movie of Freddy's that's in my sidebar.

    A- Allergic people just suffer in my house. I offer them Benedryl.

    Elizabeth- Oh, you'd have to be a GUEST! of honor. And you could sing us any song you wanted.

    Syd- Mr. Moon and I got married in a park. It was so nice.
    And we had our reception at our house.

    Michelle- I sure hope so, darling.

    N2- I will!

    Lisa- Pretty darn gorgeous.

    Scott, My Tearful Friend- That was about the nicest, sweetest thing I've ever read and by god, I can just see those stars exploding or dying and sending out all that glory, including maybe us and I think you should create an art of that. I would love to think that you are right about love and I have to tell you that I feel so damn filled with it these days that I can't help but throw it back out. It's impossible not to and YOU DO IT TOO and yes, Angella, of course, and so many who are part of this community. Whether we are writing about flowers or meals or dogs or wives or husbands or kids or dog shit, or Glamorous Jobs, it's all somehow about love, isn't it?
    I hope you're right. I wouldn't mind dying for that one.

  11. Amen to all of it.

    And to what Scott said, wow.

    Amen to that, too.

  12. Dear Mary, what wonderful words, you're so right as always, it is about the love.

    The wedding will be wonderful. I'd just burn joss sticks for a few days and it will smell great. It looks beautiful and romantic, it will be just like Little Women. I love it!! xx

  13. Angella- I know. Amen back. Love.

    Christina- So if you and the Actor ever want to be wed in a very rural setting....

  14. I'll be there! What should I wear and/or bring?

  15. DTG- Very casual. Jack's wearing a new Hawaiian shirt. If you want to bring a food, do.
    Too bad it's not breakfast. The grits bar bears repeating.
    I'm so glad you're coming!

  16. I love a good wedding, too. And restricting it to the straight and suitably religious - well, you know how stupid I find that.

  17. I believe people should be able to marry whoever they like, too. It seems pretty damn sensible and pedestrian to me, but I guess it's not. Too many assholes in the world.


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