Friday, April 15, 2011
Big Fun Can Happen When You Put On Your Big Girl Panties
I wasn't going to go to town tonight to hear Lon and Lis. I just wasn't going to do it. I have been so exhausted. And then there's that pesky possible agoraphobic thing. And the I'm-too-fat-for-any-of-my-clothes thing. And the oh, hell, I'd-have-to-put-on-a-bra thing.
But that nap today.
It was one of those sleeps where you go to bed one person and you wake up a different one. Or at least a better version of the one you were before the sleep.
And seeing Lon and Lis here at my porch table and feeling my heart leap when I saw them- well. I knew I wanted to go.
Mr. Moon is out of town. Now that's a major problem. Because I don't go anywhere at night without him. I can't drive at night comfortably. I am as night-blind as a chicken. And I do not drive after drinking. Don't do it. And, and, and...
I knew I really wanted to crack my shell and go out tonight, at least for a little while and Kathleen had said that if I wanted to go, she would go with me, and so I called her and she said, "I'll pick you up!" and she did. We both put on our big-girl panties and we went out at night like normal people. She drove us in what she calls The Toy- the convertible that Mr. Moon found for her and it was glorious, driving to town.
I had found something that fit. Lis gave me a new ribbon pin and it is of a color that reminds me of the water of Cozumel and with that on my shoulder and a teeny-martini in me, I was able to stomp down the anxiety which, in my case, asserts itself by telling me that I can't possibly go out because I am dying of some unknown illness and hell- if the person picking you up has stage four lung cancer and yet is eager and willing to go with you AND, in fact, to drive you to town with the top down, what are you going to do?
And we did.
We had supper at the bar and we talked to people and we got to hear wonderful music and I cried a little and May was there and then Jessie showed up and it was good. So very, very good.
And I wore a new bra that I didn't buy but that May brought over because her boss had bought it and although it said, "One Size Fits All," she had tried it on and said, "Fuck that shit," and it isn't quite a real bra and it's so comfortable and well, that may have changed my life.
And then we drove home with the cool wind blowing on us and Kathleen and I talked about men and sex and aging and how tomorrow morning we are going to the Goodwood Plant sale and when I got home I shut my chickens up and here I am, about to go to bed so that I can get up and go stand in line to buy plants I do not need with Kathleen and I think that Lis is going too and that Jessie is going to meet us.
She remembers going to that plant sale when she was a little girl and that they had doughnuts. She's thinking she might buy a plant to take up to North Carolina to put in the yard of the house that she and Vergil are going to rent.
What a week it's been. Such a good week for me. And I miss my sweetie who is down at his sister's house in Sarasota but he'll be home eventually.
He always is.
And Lon and Lis will be back tonight to sleep in the Panther Room and tomorrow after the plant sale I'll be going to Monticello to a music festival and that will be fun too.
Damn. For a possibly-agoraphobic woman with few friends, I sure have been getting out this week and being social. I've put on make-up twice! And shaved my legs. And found a bra. Okay, it found me. Which is how I like things to happen. And gotten to spend days and nights with my grandson. And I got to see Billy and Waylon, and May came out too.
Big doin's in Little Lloyd. As we say here in the south- Big Fun.
By my definition, at least.
Sleep well, y'all.
P.S. Funniest thing anyone said tonight that I heard:
Before we left, Kathleen said, "I have to go say hello to Lon."
And I said, "Oh yes, you must get a Lon hug. That'll add at least three years to your life."
And Kathleen said, "That could double my life-span!"
I love that girl. I truly do.
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Kathleen is quick.ReplyDelete
I love the image of you two riding into the night in the convertible. Lovely.
That's funny about the magnets, I never thought of that thing I sent them on as their own little magnet board. I just wrapped a tin cover in paper as a way to send them to you. I figured you'd toss that and just put the magnets on the fridge or wherever you needed a magnet. There are little magnets on the back too.
Fun to see them!
So glad you put on yr big girl panties and that a magic bra found you. And that you have such amazing friends and family and love around you.
Bethany- Kathleen is amazing. That magnet board is a work of art, all unto itself. Period. The end. Yes, I know there are other ones on the back. They are my special, hidden treat.ReplyDelete
It was so lovely to see you tonight! My favorite moment of the entire day was standing outside with you and Porsche, two of my favorite ladies. You looked beautiful, by the way. Several people told me so.ReplyDelete
I love hearing about your nights out on the town. You are a blessed, loved woman. Sleep well, Ms. Moon.ReplyDelete
Your two comments about Kathleen tonight were priceless. She is priceless. I love both of your senses of humor --ReplyDelete
I'm glad you had fun and would love more info on the bra.
Please. Buy some new clothes that fit. I even do that sometimes, and I'm in my thirties, not my fifties.ReplyDelete
There is a whole world of non-underwired stretch cotton support underwear out there you could possibly explore, you know.
You're crafty, Bethany! :)
May- It was the May and Porsche Show! And I loved it! I love you. It was so wonderful to get to spend a little time with you.ReplyDelete
Angie- They are rare but they are fun.
Elizabeth- I'll probably do an entire post on that bra. You know me.
And you are RIGHT about Kathleen.
Jo- Oh, I have clothes that fit me. I just look like shit in everything. You're sweet.
Dear Mary, Kathleen sounds wonderful as do all your friends.ReplyDelete
I'm so glad you went out. I understand the slightly agoraphobic thing. I have to be forced out these days but I always love it once I'm out, just like you.
I still put make-up on to go to the corner shop. And a bra if I can find one!
Love you xx
PS. Bethany's present is beautiful xxReplyDelete
I am glad that you went out. It probably helped you and Kathleen. Trying to catch upon blogs.ReplyDelete
Christina- Because you're a lady! My give-a-damn meter about make-up and such is just about at zero. (I didn't make that saying up. I wish I had.)ReplyDelete
But I do like to fancy up sometimes. In fact, sometimes I love it.
And Bethany's present IS beautiful.
Syd- I think it did. I do.
Bethany is a doll. We know that already. Lovely, thoughtful gifts.ReplyDelete
Kathleen's funny cracked me up. I love her, too!
Ms. Bastard-Beloved- We need to make Bethany start blogging again.ReplyDelete
Haha, you two can't make me do nothin, but love u both.ReplyDelete