Friday, April 22, 2011

Another Hot Mess

Last night's TV viewing was a new depth in badness. It was the most abysmal movie. The acting sucked. The plot line was thinner than an old man's handkerchief. And when this scene happened:

I thought I might die of the shame of watching it. Or being a woman. Either one.
The shame of being a woman watching four actresses pretending to Karaoke in a night club in Dubai to I Am Woman (Hear Me Roar) with the implied message that these four women were, as they sang, lifting the consciousness of Middle Eastern Women everywhere.

Sucky, fucky bullshit.

And yet, I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was like a train wreck. A CIRCUS train wreck. And all the animals (is that a ZEBRA?) were milling around with bandages on their heads and the clowns were all in full regalia and the Ring Master Dude was standing in the middle of it with his Ring Master Dude pants ripped off but still wearing his jacket and top hat and holding his whip while all around him there was wailing and moaning and he was still trying to get the elephant to stand up on two legs.

See what I mean?

Not even the appearance of Aidan could save this train wreck.
And Mr. Big is as obnoxious and dull as ever.
And Oh- raising children is hard. Even if you have HELP! (As in nannies AND maids.And a seemingly-infinitely unlimited clothing budget.)
And marriage is difficult.
And women in Dubai should not be going around with their titties hanging out.
And menopausal women are jokes if they don't have their hormones.

And I bet it cost about fifty billion dollars to make this movie.

Well. What can you do?

And is Bless Our Hearts going to become a movie-review blog?


But I am not going to fill the airwaves with my doody-head emotional problems every day because that would just be so boring.

And it would appear that while I'm having these doody-head emotional problems, I am capable of watching anything on the TV. Anything at all.

As long as it doesn't require any intellectual activity on my part.

Favorite Headline In The Paper Today:

Hilton sentenced to death
Killer also receives life in prison for kidnapping plus 5 years for theft.

Al I can say about that is...How are they going to do that? Kill him, bring him back, put him in prison for the rest of his life, then kill him and bring him back and make him do another five years?

Makes no sense.
And no, I'm not going to discuss state-mandated murder here.

That would require intellectual activity on my part.

I hope Owen doesn't want to learn his ABC's today. Because that would require intellectual....
okay. You get it.

I am woman, hear me whimper.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think there are some amnesiac clowns wandering around who might need band-aids, some tight-rope walkers who need assistance getting down from the trees.

Have a lovely day!

Yours truly...Ms. Moon


  1. Now THAT is a great visual!

    WF: vitamon. You should always take your vitamons.

  2. I went to that movie with my girlfriends, and it was just as you describe. Awful.
    I'm a little brain dead myself, hoping for an easy brain free kind of day here too.
    Enjoy that boy!

  3. you couldn't pay me to watch that movie.
    and yes, sometimes I tell people how I really feel :)

  4. That movie SUCKED. Big needs to grow the fuck up.

  5. Didn't watch it! Shudder.

    Erm, isn't a 'life sentence' 25 years?

  6. SITC 2 only works if there's going to be a SITC 3 - the second movie of any trilogy always being the worst.

    I want to tell you the word verification word is 'ovantst' - don't discount the 'ova' in that, and I don't just mean chicken eggs!

  7. I tried to watch that movie twice, and it put me to sleep each time. But then, few movies keep me awake and interested long enough.

  8. DTG- It was JUST LIKE THAT! And every day I do take my vitamons. I swear.

    Mel- I did enjoy that boy.

    deb- Do it, girl! Say the truth and fear no man!

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- AS I told Mr. Moon tonight- that movie sucked the donkey dick until it was GONE

    Jo- I have no idea what a life sentence is. But if you're dead, what does it matter?

    Lucy- Word verification gets only scarier.

    Angie M- Man, I wish I'd fallen asleep. The shame! The shame!

  9. Dearest Mary, I feared it would be bad. There was no way I was going to the cinema to see this. I will check it out when it's on Sky. Sometimes they should just leave the series as it is and not try and drag every bit of life out of it.

    Have a lovely day, love you xx

  10. I won't watch this. The only musical I ever liked was Shine A Light and the Bob Dylan movie that Scorsese did.

  11. That movie was probably one of the worst I've ever seen!!


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