Thursday, June 14, 2012

These Men!

The phone rang at 11:30 last night. I was already in bed, but reading, and knew it couldn't be great news. Mr. Moon hadn't called me to tell me good-night but he never calls that late.
It was him, though.
"Are you all right?" I asked.
"Not really," he said.

Oh Lord. He's six hours away and he's admitting to not being all right. Not good.

He was in an ER in Anniston, Alabama after having passed out earlier in the evening. Now, Mr. Moon does this sometimes. I think it's partly, at least, due to his height. It just doesn't take that much to interfere with the blood getting from heart to head sometimes. And down he goes. And when a man who is six-feet-eight, or whatever, goes down, he goes DOWN.

It's scary. For him and everyone around him and last night it was scary for me, six hours away in the middle of the night. He told me that he wanted to leave the ER. He was fine. No chest pain, no arm pain, no abdominal pain, his heart rate was fine.
I pleaded with him to stay, get checked out.
He sighed. No one seemed to be getting helped much in the Anniston, Alabama hospital's emergency department at that hour of the night. One nurse. They had, he said, taken him in and grilled him on fifty different ways they could contact him for their money if need be.

Health care in America. Ain't it great?

Anyway, he finally got seen and had his vitals checked and they were all fine. And then he was determined to leave and go get a room and get some sleep. Where he and our two friends had been planning to spend the night was in a shack on the property they were looking at. A shacky-shack. With bugs and rodents and really low ceilings. And it was hot. And they hadn't eaten since early afternoon. And, and, and...

So. He got a room. I got a text from him this morning and he'd slept well and was planning on sleeping some more.

And in the middle of all of this last night, as if that wasn't enough, I got a picture and text from Jessie. SHE was in the ER in Asheville with Vergil.

He'd been playing Ultimate Frisbee, came down wrong on his ankle and heard an ominous pop.
Turns out it's not broken but "merely" badly sprained.


Vergil passed out on an airplane once. When they landed, they took him to a hospital, ran every test in the book and let him go. He was fine. He's tall too.

These men! We think of them as being eternally and infinitely strong and whole and well and they are our anchors, our rocks, our big, tall, indestructible fellas.
And when something happens, a fall, a passing-out, we are slapped in the face with the reality that they are human, after all. And it's so scary.

And we women, we fussers, are constantly reminding them to stay hydrated, not to get too hot, remember to eat, take it a little easier...
And do they listen, these men?
Of course not. Because THEY believe they are eternally and infinitely strong and whole and well and indestructible. I swear, on weekends my husband will eat his breakfast and then get completely wrapped up in some manly project in the garage and around three he'll come staggering into the kitchen saying something like, "I don't think I ate lunch."

Drives me insane. Completely insane.

Anyway, I'm sure my husband is fine. But really? How could I tell from six hours away? And just because he's done this before and it meant nothing, what was there to guarantee that this, too, was a simple case of a drop in blood pressure due to...whatever...and how to make him stay in an emergency room when all he really wanted to do was go get something to eat, find a bed in a hotel and put the AC on Frigid?

Life. We can't protect the ones we love every minute of every day. Hell, we can't protect them at all, mostly. One second and everything can change. That's the way of it.

I laid there last night, wondering who in hell I could wake up to drive with me to Anniston, Alabama, if I needed to go. I was literally shaking as I tried to turn the pages of my book in between update phone calls. Mr. Moon kept saying, "Go to sleep. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

Which didn't help.

I finally took one of my squirreled-away Ativans and then I did sleep. There was no use for me to get in a car in the middle of the night and drive up to Alabama. None. But of course, it killed me that I wasn't there to take care of that man.
"Get something to eat," I told him.
"Yeah. I'm hungry."
"Well, get something good."
"I'm thinking a burger would be good."
"I was thinking something like a yogurt!"
And we laughed.

I'm just so glad he spent the night on a real bed in a hotel room rather than in a shack with no air conditioning in the woods in Alabama with mice and bugs running all over the place. And there's part of me that wants to tell him he can't do things like this any more. He can't go off to the woods or out on the ocean far from land and he can't act and do like he did when he was twenty-seven or thirty-seven. Although he's been passing out occasionally since his teens, I think, so that's not really an age thing.

But I can't prevent him from doing anything risky no more than Jessie can prevent her boy from playing  Ultimate Frisbee and we wouldn't really want to either. And we wouldn't want the kind of men who would let us prevent them.

It's a conundrum. We want to keep them safe but we know we can't and we know we shouldn't even try.

Well. Good morning. I think I'll go take a walk before it gets so hot that I PASS OUT. I have never passed out in my life, by the way. There are perks to being short.

Let us all be well today. Let's try and stay out of emergency rooms.

Yours Truly....The Completely Legal and yet Completely Ineffectual When It Gets Right Down To It Ms. Moon, RN


  1. I used to pass out periodically, being tall and running around outside. I now have to remember to drink water, which you would think comes naturally. We're hydraulic machines, blood can't get to brain quick enough sometimes, more fluid = faster blood to brain.

  2. Ugh.

    Sometimes it feels like everything is falling apart.

    Stay well, Mr. Moon.

    Love to you, Mrs.

  3. Whoa! Whoa Nellie! What a crazy night.
    Yeah, go for a walk for sure!
    Gosh, take care over there in Florida.....

  4. My husband is the same way! He'll completely forget to eat and then wander in all wild eyed saying he doesn't feel well. The first words out of my mouth are usually, "When did you eat last?" He usually hesitates and has to think on it a while.

    Good lord, if only I 'forgot' to eat every now and then!

  5. Oh, no! Be well, Mr. Moon and Vergil.

  6. I passed out once when pregnant, lying on my back. I think the baby cut off my blood supply, somehow. It was extremely unpleasant. The husband also did it once as a teenager and found it dreamy, though. I dunno.

    You're right about delicate. Boy babies are more delicate too. Us females are hardy. I may be lardy, but I'm hardy :)

    I hope everyone's alright.

  7. Whew, I'm glad that all is okay. We do think that we are invincible, although lately with folks dying, I'm beginning to see that it's a fallacy. And those late night phone calls are never good. Hope that he will get checked out more thoroughly when he gets home.

  8. Oh! Forgot to say I adore the new header!!!

  9. be well, mrs moon's men.

    i knew just how you felt, mary moon, wanting to get to alabama stat. because if we're there, we can stop anything bad from happening. we're powerful like that.

    well. we try.

    the good news is any man with a yen for a burger is a man on the mend.

  10. All Vergil wanted was to get out of the ER so we could get pizza and beer. I had to force him to stay to get his ankle brace and some pain killers. When we got home around 12:30, I decided to be sweet and I sat him down with a beer in hand and a pizza in the oven. He is fine.

    I absolutely love your header of the zinnias, too. They are gorgeous. Just like you.

    I love you

  11. Magnum- I bet you that on the whole, men pass out more than women do. And you do it just so scare the hell out of us. I know you do.

    Elizabeth- It WAS one of those moments. You're right.

    Denise- Well, neither one of those things happened in Florida. But it sure was the south. Dang. And thank-you for the words on the new header.An

    Chrissy- I have never once forgotten to eat. Okay, maybe breakfast.

    Stephanie- Thank you, honey.

    Jo- Haha! I may be lardy but I'm hardy. Me too!

    Syd- He's supposed to go to the doctor next week for a check-up. Thanks.

    Angella- Yeah. We're all powerful. Uh-huh. I sure didn't feel very powerful. But I did feel better when he said he wanted a burger.

    HoneyLunaLove- Our men. Our MEN! We just love them so. I'm glad you got Vergil a beer and made him a pizza. You're such a good little nurse. I'm glad you like the zinnias. They're pretty gorgeous, aren't they? I love you, baby. So much.

  12. Darnit! Isn't that how it goes with bad situations? It's comes in a downpour! Hope Mr. Moon and Virgil are both OK today!

    I once fainted as I was standing up as a bridesmaid in a good friend's wedding. I have to say, it was graceful! Everyone said so! Scary as hell though, because I could feel it coming on at the time and knew I was going to fall.

  13. I am so glad he is okay. It's frustrating to feel helpless at times.

  14. I am so glad he is okay. It's frustrating to feel helpless at times.

  15. While i know you don't believe in it, i will be praying for him and you; who knows but that the well wishes toward you do some good.

  16. Nicol- Well, hell. At least you were graceful. That's something.

    Rubye- And then trying to figure out what to do! Trust what he says and go to sleep or get in the car and go take care of him? I trusted. And it turned out okay, thank goodness.

    Messymimi- I am so torn when someone tells me that. Sure, I appreciate all the good wishes anyone wants to send me. So. Thanks.

  17. Oh Lawd. Uh - parallel lives again. Only the man in my life is not sensible. Love to you all.


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