Saturday, June 2, 2012

More Crap

Can someone please explain Instagram to me? WTF is that? All the pictures I see that say "instagram" just look like regular pictures, maybe with a funky filter on them. No rainbows are shooting out of anyones' butts.

Why is the annual Plague of Flies back? Oh yeah. It's annual. That'll be a fun addition to tonight's pizza gathering.

Why is the NRA trying to get rid of Obama? Has he done ONE thing to threaten anyone's right to own a damn gun?

If something falls off a wall and you heard it but you can't find out where in the house it happened, did it really happen?
Is this a joke? A metaphor? A ghost? A mystery?

Why did I eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with tuna and peas for dinner AND breakfast?

Where are those flies coming from?

How is it even possible that I have never watched one minute of TV about the Kardashians? How did I not realize until yesterday when I read an article about it in Esquire that the very famous Olympic athlete, Bruce Jenner, is a part of that family? Do the people who watch those Kardashians even know that at one time, Bruce Jenner was quite possibly the world's greatest athlete? And why does he look sort of like Christopher Walken now?

Did you know that you can swat a fly and it can look dead as hell and then it will revive itself and fly off?

Did you know that chickens love Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with tuna and peas?

The answer to the question how does gay marriage threaten straight marriage? is this: It doesn't. And anyone who says it does is simply a bigoted asshole. That's my opinion, by the way.
And as Charles Barkley said, "I may be wrong but I doubt it." Actually, that was the title of a book he wrote and if he came up with that title all on his own, he is a freaking genius.
Which has nothing to do with gay marriage and neither does the divorce rate.

Why do I forget about the Plague of Flies every year until it happens again?

Are Bill and Hilary Clinton still a couple? I never, ever see any pictures of them together any more. Not that it's my business. I'm just curious. And if they aren't, is that why Hillary looks so damn happy and sure of herself these days?

Why did I get eight hours of sleep and yet feel as if I simply MUST take a nap?

I don't know. But I do. And I can and I think I will. That kitchen floor is mopped, tomatoes are roasting in the oven and every scrap of laundry is done in this house. The garden can wait until tomorrow and screw the blackberries.

In fact, screw everything because I am not in charge of the world and it will continue to revolve if I fall asleep for awhile.

Finally, one more question. Why did they use this picture on Huffpost to illustrate an article entitled "And the worst dressed city in America is..."?

Are they trying to say that wearing overalls is a sign of bad taste and bad dressing?

Oh. Maybe it's the fact that the other lady is wearing a white bra under a black top and her straps are showing.

I'm sure that's it.

Love...Ms. Moon (Who is wearing overalls right this second but whose bra straps are not showing BECAUSE SHE AIN'T WEARING NO STINKING BRA!)


  1. The NRA and everyone else who wants to get rid of Obama want to get rid of him because he is black (actually he's just as white as he is black but our culture says any black blood makes you black). They may sugar coat it will all kinds of made up stories about the harm he is causing this country, none of which is true, but the core is, he's black. and because they are bigots they expect he is going to exact revenge because that's what they would do. never mind that he has done nothing to cause anyone to think such a thing. if people think things are bad now, just wait. cause if he doesn't get reelected, if Romney gets in, this country is in for a world of hurt unless, of course, you're a millionaire or billionaire in which case you'll get richer.

  2. Ellen said everything I was thinking in answer to that question. She sure did and thank you.

    Now about instagram. Is it more than a style of photo? Is it also a blog platform like say tumblr or pinterest? I too need this explained.

    Hope you're having a lovely nap Mary moon.

  3. NO bra here either. On the weekend? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

    I laughed and snorked my way through this entire post and had no idea who SNOOKIEE was until my son told me she was getting divorced. Who the fuck is SNOOKIEE I asked? He wasn't sure either. He also wasn't sure about who the Karashians or are or were either.

    I would eat pasta for every single meal in my life Mary I truly would except my logical brain still tells me I'd get so fat I wouldn't be able to lean over far enough to read sheet music and they'd I'd be screwed.


    ps WV: ontrag hahahahahahaha.

  4. On top of everything else, you are FUCKING FUNNY !!!!!!! Gawd, that made me laugh.

    And ms. abbott is absolutely right, it's because he's black. It's allllll because he's black.

    Instagram?? who the hell knows. I still can't figure out how to do a link...I'm ashamed of myself. But thanks to you, I'm laughin' !!

  5. Ellen Abbott- Well, I believe I have covered this before. Yeah. There are a lot of bigots out there but they know better than to just display their bigotry.

    Angella- It was a wonderful nap. I think Instagram is an app. For taking pictures. I think.

    Madame King- Sometimes I feel as if menopause left me in the on-the-rag mindspace as a default.
    Is Snookie a Kardashian? I have no idea.

  6. Here here! I haven't worn one all day either and it's been GREAT!

  7. He's only half black. This seems like it should be pertinent somehow... at least insomuch as the fact that he's black in any amount, which is notable but shouldn't be but we ain't living in any Utopian society.

    Also: I feel like a bad feminist, but I don't feel comfortable going braless. My flappy jugs just slip and slide and sweat and stick. It's unpleasant. Still, I imagine I'd prefer it the other way if I went without for a few days.

  8. instagram is an app for an android phone or an i phone or both that makes your photos look all old timey and shit like you took them with an instamatic with kodachrome film tha thas that white border and not with a $400 phone that does everything except wipe your ass.


  9. There is Kraft macaroni and cheese in your house? I'm as shocked as if you'd said Wonderbread, even though Wonderbread or its squishier, cheaper cousins used to be served at all the best funky barbeque places on the South Side of Chicago....

  10. Instagram is actually a cool app -- both for taking photos AND "socializing." Some of the filters make your photos look like they did when we were young -- there's a nostalgia to them.


    As for Bruce Jenner -- I know. I saw that he was connected to that freak show family, but he's a freak himself -- had so much surgery he's nearly unrecognizable. Can you even believe that's the same god-like man that we watched run and jump and all that shit in the Olympics?

  11. Ah, this is so funny and perfect and I had the same exact reaction to Bruce Jenner and the Kardashians. Ain't nothing wrong with peas and Mac and cheese mama. Thanks for making me laugh on a weird, rainy day.

  12. Instagram is a smart phone app. You take a picture and then can play with it to give it some fancy schmancy looks... Personally, I prefer Hipstamatic, which is the same fancy schmancy photo app, just fun.
    Ain't life all about having fun?
    If you want, you can then upload the pics to facebook and other similar stellar time loosing sites.
    I can't keep wondering if the world would have been a better place with a woman in the white house instead of a man...

  13. Right before I read this I had just gone on a fly-killing spree in the house and swatted a dozen or more flies. They're everywhere.

  14. I hate fly season. I have this tennis racket thing that is battery powered and zaps flies. But it only zaps those that are so bloated with blood that they cannot fly. I suck at a return serve on a whizzing fly.

    As for the people who hate the President. He is not only black but educated and highly intelligent. That scares the masses because most are not possessing the latter two traits.

  15. Liv- Links are easy. Instagram probably is too. We just have to learn. I guess. Or not.

    Nicol- Why do we feel compelled to wear the damn things ever? Why?

    See Kate run- Hey! If you want to wear bras, I will not judge you! I know that some women find them comfortable and supportive. I am not one of them but it's okay if you are. I promise!

    Mrs. A- I had a feeling it was something like that.

    A- Hey! They were buy-one-get-one. Owen loves Kraft Macaroni and cheese. Honestly, I hadn't bought any in years. The spirit moved me. I did.

    Elizabeth- He should sue his plastic surgeon. He looks TERRIBLE! egg with slits for eyes or something. It is hard to believe that it's the same guy.

    Bethany- I've eaten worse things, believe me.
    Glad I could make you laugh, baby.

    Photocat- Well. I don't know. I don't need my pictures to be any weirder than they are. As to Hilary- I think she's got a good shot at the presidency in the go-'round. Maybe. I hope so. I sure do.

    Blue Gal- Mine sort of disappeared. Maybe they went to your house.

    Syd- Yep. I think people are as disturbed by his obvious intelligence as they are by his skin color.
    Get you a regular fly swatter, man!


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.