Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Demons and Dragons and Reality

I've got the blood-reds today. I woke up feeling as if I could tear a dragon apart limb from limb and it's gray today and who in this entire world cares that Oprah has made her peace with 50 Cent, whoever he is? I mean, does Oprah even care? Does Oprah matter any more?
Does the pope matter, does Madonna's nipple matter, do my chickens matter, do I matter?
Does it matter that the governor of our state is determined to purge the voter roles in direct defiance of Federal law forbidding such activity 90 days before an election?

What matters?

That. Matters. To me.

That is what I have to hold in my heart, those two boys, the very fact of their presence on this earth means the earth to me.

I look at those boys and I see how they are loved and cherished and protected by their parents and their uncle and aunts and grandparents and I think that yes, no matter what else, my life has led to this. Not just their physical being here, but they way they are loved which means that dammit, they have a chance to grow up strong and healthy in mind and heart and body.

No dragons or tigers are going to eat them. No one is going to force them to grow up into adults before they are in grade school. No one is going to rob them of their innocence, their belief in love, their faith in themselves and their family.

Or at least, that is what my hope for them is. I am aware that there are no guarantees but they have a chance to grow up like their grandfather did, knowing he was expected to work hard and do his best but that his mama and his daddy had his back and would have gone to the ends of the earth to make sure he was taken care of in all ways. All important ways. That no matter what happens, there is the love of a family to enfold them in.

If there is any hope for this planet at all, it is in children who are being raised consciously and with love.

I hold that in my heart. I put it all in perspective. I think that two-at-a-time is good enough for me.

On days like this one, when I wake up with the blood-reds obscuring my vision, that is what saves my life, just as my own children's presence on this earth has for most of my life. Again and again and again.

My babies. No vague promise of an afterlife, no stories of walking-on-water or raising-of-the-dead.
Just the complete reality of lives that I am here to love.

It'll do. And the dragons are safe from me once again.


  1. I understand you totally.
    Sometimes it is hard to understand this world, or rather the people in it.
    When one gets to a certain age and has seen better times it's hard to be positive.
    We have our grandchildren and fervently hope for a good future for them.
    Your Grandsons are beautiful

  2. You do NOT have it twisted, you have the right priorities. So true: those boys are important, the most important in your life, next to your husband and kids. I am astonished by the amount of love we have for those grandchildren.

  3. yep, we can't kill all the dragons out there, but we can deal with the ones circling our youngins for damn sure!

  4. Crafty Cat Corner- Hello and welcome! I am not one of those who remembers when times were "better." Different, sure. But I think human nature pretty much remains constant and one insanity just replaces another. Also, I'm mighty glad we don't have the plague anymore.
    Thanks for saying my grandsons are beautiful. I think they are but I know I am completely unreasonably prejudiced. And yes, I wish for a decent future for all of our grandchildren. And for theirs, too.

    Photocat- There is no end to love, is there? The well is infinite.

    Magnum- Amen, brother man.

  5. Harvey and I raised our children that way, and he was raised that way. I wasn't, so it is the thing of which I'm most proud.

    A successful marriage to a man whose last text to me was uber romantic, sent 2 hours before he died.

    Two wonderful, smart, bright, self-confident children.

    Poems I have written about my husband and family.

    It doesn't heal this heartbreak that I'm going through right now, but it does let me know that I'm worthy of love.

  6. Too, too, too true. Dragons be damned.


  7. Pamela- You are doing what you can. You are living a miracle of survival.

    See Kate Run- Fuck the dragons.

  8. I'm glad that the boys kept the dragons at bay. I'm okay with the knowledge that someone out there loves me and I love back.

  9. Gospel according to Mary.

    Honey, this is why I'm a midwife. This very reason. I can't fix much but I can give those babes a good start. And nurture their families a bit.

    XX Beth


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