Thursday, June 28, 2012

Do We Ever Really Pay Attention?

I did so many things today. I did walk. I did make an appointment (tomorrow at 4:30- so quickly!), I did go to see my mother (it was fine), I did buy birthday presents.
I did, I did, I did. I even went to the mall and was astounded at what is to be found there, the way the mall has a roar about it, the vast amount of perfectly awful, tacky shit being sold which I suppose people want to buy.

I am still half-crazed. It's such a strange mixture, this feeling of completely bare wires and wanting to lie down and pass out.

Fucking adrenaline when you don't need it. When there is no bear to run from, no car to lift to save your child, no mastodon with its mighty tusks in your face.

Anyway, la-di-dah. I doubt I'll die from it.

Meanwhile, I watched a video on Youtube today and I doubt that anyone but those of us crazy old hippies and natural childbirth believers-in would be that interested in it, but here it is, just in case.
I think, quite frankly, it's worth watching just to see the way Stephen and Ina May give each other their complete attention when the other is talking. Stephen used to talk about that a lot, back in the olden days. About how important it is to really give people your full attention. Watching this, I realize that he and Ina May still believe that and practice it. And to me, it is beautiful to see. How often do most of us really give our full attention whether it's with our lovers, our friends, our spouses, our partners, our children? What would happen if we tried to practice this laying-on-of-attention? To actually listen and take-in when someone else is speaking instead of trying to figure out what it is that we, we, WE are going to say next when that person speaking takes a breath and it's our turn? Or even worse (and I am SO guilty of this) to give half-attention to someone speaking, keeping the rest of it for some other activity we are doing at the same time.

I can only imagine that this is one of Ina May's most powerful tools as a midwife. To pay attention.
That simple.
That difficult.
That rare.

Well. It's a thought.

Here it is.


  1. I love love LOVE THEM! They are adorable! And so straight forward and calm, even about what they are passionate about.

    I guess you know Dianna had one of her children at The Farm. She said it was a loooOOOooong labor, but they went with it, and it was all fine. You see how far they let me go before they insisted on inducing. sigh.

    Thanks for sharing.
    xo ps I saw Lily today. She looks fine!

  2. I'm glad that you got the things done that you needed to do. They are an interesting couple. It seems that they really love each other a lot.

  3. Ms. Fleur- I'm glad you liked the video. Aren't they a beautiful old hippy couple? With their minds, they have changed the world. Ina May believes in women. This takes courage in today's world.

    Syd- Don't they?

  4. How did we get so old. Thank you so much for posting this. I got my first copy of what we called The Butterfly book when I was pregnant with my third daughter. Takes me back. makes me teary.

  5. Wow. Makes me teary, too. That is an incredible video and I loved every second of it. Yes, they listen intently to one another. And I love what she said about birth: "This is holy, this is sacred."

    John and I went to hear Lis and Lon tonight at Creekside. Another weepy (in a good way) event. The tears come when I listen to just the two of them. They make such amazing, loving music together. It makes me feel so tender and happy.

    Sweet dreams tonight, Ms. Mary Moon...and thank you once again for your beautiful words and all that you present to us.

  6. I just loved watching that video --was even mesmerized by Ina's beautiful green necklace and Stephen's pink shirt. Just wow.

    Thanks for posting it!

  7. I fucking love that he was in the Marines---hadn't remembered that. I also like how she says Missoura. I was born there and had relatives who pronounced it that way.

  8. Kristin- That was the handbook for each of my babies' births. How DID we get so old?

    Lulumarie- Lon and Lis always make me cry too. Can't help it. I love you.

    Elizabeth- I'm glad you watched it and liked it. They are colorful, aren't they? Colorful Amish. Yep.

    A- I watched another video he was in, talking about his life, some. He said of his time in the Marines, "It was child abuse."


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.