Saturday, January 1, 2011


So this is real life.

I made the dinner, I set it on the table in front of the TV where we usually eat. The pears were perfect, I swear. The salad simple and yet as fresh as it could get, Mr. Moon having picked the greens in the dark. Leftover chicken potpie that Kathleen had sent over.

"The" game is on. What game? I don't know from games. The only thing I'd rather not watch on TV than "games" is the hunting channel.
It seems to be an important game.

I ate some and it was good but something horrible and evil swelled up inside of me. New Years Eve and I'm watching (not watching) a game.

I blew up. I lost it.

I took my plates to the kitchen.
I brushed my teeth.
I went to bed.
After I had screamed some.

Mr. Moon perfectly unsure of what had just happened.
We were in bed by nine o'clock.
Sleep was not good.

Today is the New Year.

Fuck holidays. Fuck them.

Just fuck them.

The black velvet was not worn in 2010. It slept in the closet as I slept in the bed.

Maybe this past year was so good I didn't want to let it go. Who knows?

Whatever. It's all just a bunch of numbers. Saturday morning and we're here. At least we're not dead on a highway somewhere. At least the house isn't covered in confetti with martini glasses upside down on the sofa. At least we don't have hangovers.

I hear someone won the game.
Someone always does.


  1. Sometimes it just happens that way.

  2. Sometimes men don't need anything more in their lives than what they've got and sports, I guess.

    And women... well... we all know how it goes :(

  3. Oh my. Parallel lives. Lord I wish I lived down the road. I'd have distracted you from the game.
    I wish I had screamed. I pouted. I wallowed in how unfun my New Year's Eve was, how dreary my Christmas was, of course nobody's fault I'd been sick, but still, felt pretty sorry for myself. Popped the expensive champagne I imagined sharing with hubby or friends, drank it all, felt sick and made myself throw up to avoid feeling worse this morning than I already do. At least you had the sense to yell and go to bed like a mature human being. I know better, and what a moron I am to beat myself when I am feeling down. This morning I could only make fun of myself, because this was the most ridiculous New Year's Eve and Day I have ever spent.
    One very bright spot was watching Bette Midle sing John Prine's Hello in There, and crying a little tear because it was so beautiful.
    I am resolving to behave myself, make my own happiness, and be true to myself from now own.
    I have the same worry about driving around this time of year, especially today, since so many are driving home hung over. At least we are safe and sound. Pissed, maybe, or melancholy, which was my theme, but safe.
    Happy New Year, Ms. Moon.
    I dreamed about you two nights ago, we were sitting on a couch and you were sewing. It was lovely.

  4. The holidays are over, MM, and sometimes that's the best thing about them. I was also in bed by 9...I think I'm getting sick.

    Love you, even if you scream :)

  5. Black velvet is wonderful on a Saturday any Saturday. Especially for washing dishes or scrambling eggs or pulling weeds. I like to dress fancy. The rest of it leaves me weary.

    I'm not weary this morning! And I'm wearing a twirly skirt. My vow for the new year is to twirl more.

    wv: verse

    seriously these word verifications are starting to Freak Me Out.

  6. Me and the Mister got our wires crossed too. Happened Thursday night and crackled and snapped and popped all the way through this morning. But now? We're good.

  7. While they were fun while they lasted; I'm glad the hangover days are long gone.

  8. Jeannie- I know and it sucks.

    Jo- Too true. Too effing true.

    Mel- Do you know how much it helps to know I am not the only one? Thanks. Let us be honest- no matter how much we are loved or how much we love, we still sometimes just lose our shit. And life goes on.
    I am glad you dreamed of me. What was I sewing?

    SJ- Oh, scream I did! Don't get sick! Drat.
    Love you, too.

    Radish King- I agree with you about the VW's. Sometimes I just have to shudder and ignore the possible message. But verse is nice.
    Okay. I'm going to go buy some Goodwill velvet soon so I can wear it without guilt as I wash the dishes. Same as I do with my cashmere. I shall look for something twirly.
    Such good advice!

    Ms. Trouble- GAH! We take out our shit on the ones we love the most. Why? I don't know.

    Rebecca- Hmmmm. I had to read that twice. I love you, dear.

  9. It was on at the party I went to, too. I was going to come out and see you, but Tay came over and we're just riding out the rain. Love you.

  10. DTG- I just said, "I'd bet the ranch Hank ain't coming out."
    I understand. It sure is nice and rainy. We're playing Wii and it's sort of fun.
    That cornbread smells mighty good. You know you can come out tomorrow if you want. Anytime. I love you...Mama

  11. It is just the way some moments go-- losing our shit over something that we won't remember in a while. There have been terrible losing of shit moments that I wish I did not remember. It will be okay.

  12. New Years is always weird. Blek


  13. That is the funniest thing. Well, not that you didn't feel happy of course. That's bad. But the fact that I came here after writing about my New Year's Eve. On which I fought with Babes and begged to be allowed to go to bed, and then spoiled the evening completely. Fuck the holidays. They're over now.

  14. Syd- I know. In fact, things are now better than before. Great sigh of relief.

    Michelle- No kidding and why can't I remember this?

    Mwa- Amen, Mama!

  15. I'm okay as soon as fucking Christmas is over. I'm okay with New Years. Sorry to hear that you were not feeling the relief.

    Love you!


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