Wednesday, January 12, 2011

This Early Morning

It is so early and so quiet. I am going to take Kathleen to Thomasville this morning and this week I am going to remember that I have to start and warm up the car before I intend to drive away in it- not something we Floridians always need to know but every now and then...
Last time we went I was futilely trying to scrape the frost off the windshield with a spatula and feeling as if I was going to be late and I HATE being late and finally, I brought out a pitcher of hot water and poured it over the glass and I KNOW- I'm not supposed to do that but it worked and I won't do it again.

I say it's quiet but a rather large mouse just ran up the firescreen and back into the fireplace and Buster and Dolly are on its trail but of course it's all for naught. So there is that activity going on. And the heat is blowing and I can tell that I need to clean the filter.
Another thing I have not done.

It's never all done, is it? And wouldn't it be sad if it was? I can just see myself living in a tiny condo somewhere, sitting in a rocking chair looking around me at my perfectly clean house, every dish put away, every window sparkling, the bills paid, the laundry done and what? What shall I do if that happens?
Make a pie, I suppose. I will finally, and at last, learn to make good pie crust.
There is always something to be done.

But at this point in my life, there is still busy-ness and if I run out of things to do (NEVER!) I can always set traps and do something about these mice.

I don't have time for this folderol this morning. I need to go put something presentable on my body and get ready to go. I hate getting dressed to go anywhere. When was the last time I felt pretty? I do not know. I felt...something powerful...that day it snowed and we filmed outside all day, my face painted bizarrely, my hair wild around me. It wasn't pretty I felt, but it was good. Well, I will not be feeling that today, I but that's okay. I'll put on my eyeshadow and something else on my body. It will do.
Kathleen won't care.

And then tonight I'll make pizzas and Judy and Denise will come over and we'll have our post-chemo pizza party and it will be fun and then Kathleen will go to bed in the Panther Room with Dolly to keep her warm and to keep the mice away.

It's funny how these chemo days have become a ritual. We find what light and fun we can in any situation, don't we? I'm glad we do. I am actually looking forward to the quiet hours of knitting and talking with Kathleen in the oncology center, the sweet nurses coming by with their south Georgia accents, their kind hands, their strong legs.

And I want to clear up something about that little bit of a movie of Owen from yesterday. At the end, he is not crying. He is simply overcome with his cuteness and the drama of the situation which is why I am laughing as I film it. He has already learned, at fifteen months of age, how to give the camera everything he has.

Yes. That's my boy.

Well. Off we go.
I hope you are having a good day, that you get quiet moments to sit with someone you love, that you have something sweet to look forward to at the end of the day.
I know it's only Wednesday, but every day should be as special as we can make it and Thomasville always reminds me of that, if I go with Kathleen, it surely does.


  1. Another snow day up here. Was gonna sit and pay bills and do paper work all day but maybe I'll bake cookies and play cards with the kids instead.

    Special days. Thanks for reminding me.


  2. It is chili making day here and then rowing tonight. Every day matters.

  3. Have a great chemo day.... Now that's something I never probably thought I'd ever say.

    But I do hope it's a good one and that Dr. Hunkalicshious comes by to grace you all with his charms.

    xoxo m ps drive carefully.

  4. This reminds me of the time I poured my hot coffee on the windshield...I too was lucky and got away with it.

    I am lucky today to be surrounded by both my boys on this snow day in Kentucky and to have a house that will never be free of "things that need to be done".
    Enjoy this day Ms. Moon, I am inspired by your plans for the day. The ability to recognize light and fun in any situation is truly a beautiful, and often, miraculous thing.

  5. Thank you for this good morning.
    I'm snowed in today and was happy to be able to come here and see you for a bit. I hope your days goes well with your sweet friends.

  6. Well, I always pour hot water, and never cracked a windscreen yet.

  7. thank you for this....
    morning wisdom. it is still dark here,
    and i feel your light on!


  8. It is surreal to think of you scraping frost in Florida. I never cease to be amazed.
    I knew Owen was laughing. The joy of riding his horse is almost TOO MUCH, isn't it?
    I haven't felt pretty for about 8 years now. I remember the last time I had to get dressed for an outing and didn't feel fat or odd or just wrong. I'm lately itching to throw out 3/4 of my closet and simplify the whole anxiety riddled process. But it's not as much about the clothes as it is reconciling the woman staring back in the mirror. Don't recognize her.

    I thought you looked fearless and powerful in the film clip. I could see wind and thunder and lightning and nature bowing to your presence. It was amazing.

    Also amazing is the poignancy and beauty inherent in these chemo days you and your friends share with us.

    Wishing you a good day, and hoping (knowing) you will never run out of things to do!

    And funny, word verification was spingin, and I thought when all else fails, you can sit with a gin and tonic and spin words and yarns and tales for anyone lucky enough to catch them. Sure, pie crust, but your gift is the stories :)

  9. We're the only state in the lower 48 without snow. Go Florida!

  10. i can not hear the word snow anymore..seriously..i m so fed up with snow...:/

    i want soem pizza too...

    have a wonderful day ms moon..not too cold i hope....

  11. I hope everything comes out well. Enjoy pizza night. I love you!

  12. We just can't use the word "folderol" enough.

  13. It should all be special.
    May I always remember this.
    Today I drove my daughter to school after her early morning dental appt, trying to keep from skidding in the snow, from being rear ended, from wishing I could be home with my coffee still.
    Suddenly her little gr 7 life just spilled out in the largest tears from the largest blue eyes on earth and I remembered. I knew. We need each other. Sometimes we don't know when or why . But we do.

  14. I think I'm actually going to go out and take a rigorous walk for a change -- all three kiddos are actually in school and there is just no reason to not do so.

    I hope all goes well with Kathleen. I'll be thinking about her.

  15. I hope you had a good day. I have had a difficult day with the breastfeeding not going too well and deciding to try to switch the night feed to formula because I need some fucking sleep already. Like - tonight. I hope it works. I did get quiet moments - even got a nap, and I had blogging to look forward to at the end of the day, because I got some good inspiration flying my way.

    So - today was pretty much "life." And it's so good. Really.


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