My insides today have totally matched the outside in color, consistency and temperature.
Gray, thick, chilled. Sort of like ashes pudding. Yeah. Like that.
It's been the drabbest day and drizzling now and then and getting colder every moment.
Inside me has been about the same, the Black Dog is not on my porch, maybe just a gray, wet mutt who growls softly every time I pass the door.
Not crippling depression, just plain old melancholia with a touch of bitterness thrown in for good measure.
No one has needed me one bit today to take care of them. I haven't even gotten a phone call asking me what to do about something.
Oh wait. I did. But it was someone asking for romance advice and that's not like someone calling to ask me if they should take their baby to the doctor or how to cook collard greens.
By the way- if you call and ask me if you should take your baby to the doctor, I'm probably going to say yes. If you are worried enough to call me, then you really want to anyway.
This is true for most advice questions. People know what they want or need to do. They just need someone to second that emotion.
Except maybe for collards.
It is, as I have pointed out earlier, a Friday and I am actually going out tonight. These two beloveds are playing in Tallahassee:
Ah Lis! I miss you so. I sort of want to make out with you in the purest, girliest way. And Lon- I sure wish your quiet feet would be walking the boards of my old house tonight but no, dammit, they're doing a hit-n-run, as they say, coming in and doing the gig and leaving town tonight.
I sure could use some of their sweet energy, our silliness when we're all together, our love. I would love to get up in the morning and make them eggs and sausage and grits and biscuits. Nothing would make me happier.
Well, I'll have to be content with sitting in the audience, being one of the hungering, adoring throng. I hope Lis asks to borrow my lipstick. I hope she needs my mirror.
The Menfolk (Mr. Moon and Jason) are in the woods, and at least Mr. Moon will be joining me and Jessie and Lily and Owen at the restaurant later. I have to say that hunting season surely has lasted a long time this year. The Womenfolk are starting to get a little peevish. Our freezers are almost full. We are trying to be patient and grateful for the good men we have who are, after all, obsessed with going out to the woods to hunt creatures with hooves instead of going to bars to hunt creatures with high heels.
We are lucky. We know that. And we hope that they know they are lucky too, these men.
Well, I've taken my shower. I have washed my hair. I have shaved my legs. I have drunk my espresso. Now it is time to get dressed and put on make-up and also find out where the smell of dog shit is coming from. Jessie is driving all the way out to Lloyd to get her old mother so that she doesn't have to drive herself in the dark, and even more importantly, so that her old mother can have drinks.
She is such a good and beautiful little egg.
I am so lucky.
And I know that, even if I do have the melancholia.
Ah lah. Ashes pudding. Gray, wet mutts.
Time to dump out the nasty pudding, time to kick the mutt off the porch. Time to go paint my face. Time to pull up the shades drawn on my heart to let some light in.
Time to go listen to music, look into Lis's face and try to give her some of the beauty back that she shines on me.
Yeah. That all sounds good.
And I'll get to see and hold Owen too. Bonus points upon bonus points. Cherries on top of cowgirls. Stars upon tops of moons.
Love upon tops of love.
Now where the FUCK is that dogshit?
I smelled some earlier too. It was on my shoe. I hate having to pick that stuff out with a tooth pick.ReplyDelete
Have a great time!ReplyDelete
Our neighbourhood has a dog with diarrhea. Which isn't fun for anyone. I wish the owner would keep it contained for a bit instead of on the pavements around the school.
I kind of need you because I'd like to come around for a chat. I wish you lived around the corner. But then you'd have to watch for the poop outside as well.
Your blog started one way and ended on a high note (except for the doggie doo-doo). It sounds like a good start for the weekend with the show to go to as well.ReplyDelete
Go and kick up your heels, have a grand time. I'm wishing I was in Tallahasse tonight to go along with you all....
Between my dogs and my boy, the smell of pee is permanently lodged in my nose.ReplyDelete
What I meant to say was, have a good time tonight :)ReplyDelete
It's wonderful to read as your state of mood shifts from grey to a brighter shade, to the colour of hopefulness.ReplyDelete
Have a sea change, a color change and a great time tonight. If I could wish one wish for you tonight, it would be an end to dog shit in your life:)ReplyDelete
I wish I could be with you all!! I love you.ReplyDelete
My favorite line: "This is true for most advice questions. People know what they want or need to do. They just need someone to second that emotion."ReplyDelete
You're the absolute best.
Ah, Mary Moon your way with words is magical.....ReplyDelete
"gray, thick, chilled sort of like ashes pudding"......
Poetry pours forth from you effortlessly and constantly awes and delights me.
I'm knee deep in ashes pudding too, but smelling cat shit not dog shit. Otherwise we could be twins.
Hang in there, darlin'.
Ah, Melancholia, sounds so much more romantic than Depression! How does one make collard greens? I'm not sure I've ever eaten them, don't know if I could find them up here, well not in my neighborhood.ReplyDelete
Hoping you had a grand ol' time last night. Yep, drinks, drinks are important sometimes...ReplyDelete
Peace to you dear woman. Hope the music soothed the soul a bit.ReplyDelete
Do you hate to shave your damn legs as much as I do?ReplyDelete
I FUCKING WELL HATE IT!