Sunday, November 21, 2010

This And That

Some actors count their lines. I have been known to do this myself when the number of lines can be counted on one hand.
For this part, I can't count that high. It would take me an hour just to count the lines. I am not even kidding you.
This is ridiculous. What do the "kids" say? Ridonkulus. Haha! Just kidding. I know the kids don't really say that.
(Or do you? Tell me, kids.)
My only hope in this entire world is that the play is so well written and that there is such a flow that I might have a chance. I've been in plays where the flow was so bad and there was NO SENSE to any of the dialog that it was almost impossible to remember. I mean- what was the point? And then there was that play in which I played four or five different characters. That was amazingly fun but hard as hell. Especially the costume changes. I'd still be backstage right this second, trying to change out of pants and into a dress if Kathleen hadn't been there to help me. And make chicken salad.

Ah Lord. I hope that Jan and Jack don't end up regretting making me Truvy. I swear.

I talked to Billy today and he wants to get with me to run lines and discuss costumes. Now that makes my heart just happy as hell. And if you don't know the wonder that is Billy, just do a search on my blog. Billy loves the movie Steel Magnolias with all of his huge heart. I think if he had the time, he would have dressed in drag and come to auditions.

Anyway, it's been a good day. The yolk of the egg of my depression and anxiety has finally cracked a bit and I almost felt...okay today. Seriously. I did. I got to talk to Billy and I chatted with FC Rabbath on the Facebook and I talked to Kathleen and I bought a turkey and I made the cranberries. I also got to see Lily at Publix and got some kisses from my husband. And made waffles.

So. The turkey is "thawing" in the refrigerator. It says that it'll take three or four days to thaw. Now you know that's a lie. Three or four thousand days would be more accurate. Has anyone ever really completely thawed a turkey in the refrigerator? DO NOT THAW AT ROOM TEMPERATURE!! the label says. Honeys, if that killed you, we'd all be dead. And now "they" tell us that if we stuff the turkey, we are in danger of dying from bacteria. As far as I'm concerned, a turkey is nothing more than a holder for stuffing. So screw that. And speaking of "they," here is a very, very short film by Freddy about the dreaded and much-quoted "they." Like, less than two minutes.

Kathleen told me that she brines her turkeys. I had to ask her what that meant. She said you soak it in salt water for a day before you cook it. Martha Stewart started this brining business.
"Why?" I asked Kathleen.
"It makes it moister," said Kathleen. We were having this discussion at the Waffle House.
"I don't give a shit if it's moist or not," I said. "That's what gravy's for."

And there you go.

I'm just so glad to feel like a human being again. So glad to feel like maybe I've got a little of my self back, a little of my sass, a little of my sense of humor. I hope I feel the same way tomorrow. I'm still worried as hell about getting everything ready before the party on Wednesday and I'm EXTREMELY worried about learning all those lines and everything else I was worried about yesterday, both real and imagined, but I am not paralyzed with it. I am remembering that you have to take things one step at a time, one line at a time, one casserole at a time, one trip to the grocery store at a time, one damn everything at a time. And you know what? Every one of you has helped me to remember that.

If you ever, EVER stop to wonder if I read my comments or if they mean anything to me- let me say this- YES! Oh hell, yes.
And I can never thank you enough for them. Y'all are the gravy on my turkey, the bone in my back, the hope in my heart, the angel in my biscuit.

I mean it.

Now here's the recipe for the cranberry relish which I make and which May and I love. Enjoy.

Cranberry Relish

Wash and core two apples and process in the food processor until nice and fine.
Do the same with one orange, peel and all. Remove the seeds, though.
Run a bag of cranberries through the processor too. Everything should be about the same size. Smallish.
Now do about half a cup of pecans the same way.
Mix it all up together with a cup and a half of sugar and 1/8th tsp. of salt.
Let it sit for a few days.

It's good.

And it looks real pretty in a nice bowl.

Yours truly...Ms. Moon


  1. Oh my word that sounds delicious. I just might run out and get the stuff to make it. I'm so excited.

    Ms Moon....I think I talk about you to my husband more than I talk about my in real life friends. All good things. You amaze me.

    OH yeah....and this line ""I don't give a shit if it's moist or not," I said. "That's what gravy's for."
    ". Totally LOVE IT. I'm all about gravy. I don't get it often but when I do....I practically drink it.

  2. i just read up on all your sunday doings - the chickens, the to party-or-not-to-party, the thoughts on thawing turkeys (lol), the yolk cracking a bit (i'm glad.) i'm over here dealing with a yolk of my own, and your posts made me feel comforted. in a shared human experience sort of way. in a life goes on sort of way. the chickens' feathers grew back and your family loves you and there will be music. and except for the chickens, i can say the same thing. my family loves me and my husband is playing his guitar as i write this, and it is beautiful, even in the dark...

  3. Rebecca- Oh. Your poor husband. But if he likes cranberries, he'll be happier with me. And I do make good gravy when the occasion arises. I do.

    Dianne- Your lips to god's ear.

    Leslie- That makes me happy. To think of your husband playing guitar for you. And if anything I write makes you feel better, than I am even happier.

  4. Oh I wish I could come to opening night!

    Gotta go netflix right now. Is Truvy Shirley Maclaine's character?


  5. I love Steel magnolias and you'll be a magnificent Truvy. You *will* get your lines down, and it will be good. I also love that you're starting to come "back"--feeling a bit better.

  6. So glad that the yoke is breaking Mama. You seemed a bit more like yourself on the phone tonight, which is always lovely to hear.

    I can't wait to be home and to dance around the house while we prepare for the party and thanksgiving. It's my goal this year to do what Hank said, wake up early, and watch you make that damn turkey- but not because I'm taking on the job as turkey-maker for the whole family as soon as you decide not to do it anymore. You hear that, Hank? Well, we shall see.

    Sure do love you!

  7. oooh, I can HEAR it in your voice, the yolk of the egg cracking, wonderful. I'm so glad.
    Helping me along too. Well that and you calling me baby on my blog, I will probably float on that for a few days. ;-)

    "THE Facebook" that made me laugh.

    I love you.

  8. I have some memorization tricks - let me knwo if you need help. :)

  9. Yum. I can just taste that tart relish. I love it, I think, most of all.

    I'm glad that you're feeling a tad better and hope it continues -- right through this crazy week and onward.

    Tell your friend that I loved the short film. It made me remember all the times people ask me about Sophie's seizures and say, "Can't THEY give her something for that?"

  10. A cup and a half of sugar!!

    Dannielle, this is why I don't make my own cranberry sauce!

    Have fun, Mary :)

  11. Ha! You are beating that bastard depression's arse! I am so happy about that. Make it your bitch, Ms. Moon.

    (I am a bit giddy from getting Charlie to sleep. Excuse the overly aggressive language.)

  12. I work with a guy that says ridonkulus all of the time. And he is most definately not hip:)

    My favorite line of this post: "I don't give a shit if it's moist or not," I said. "That's what gravy's for."

    Glad you're starting to feel better.

  13. Lora- Yes. Yesterday was a good day.

    HoneyLuna- What would I do without you? I love you, darling.

    Bethany- Well, you know us old people.

    Angelika- YES! I do need help! Send me tips!

    Elizabeth- "They" suck.

    Jo- But you only eat a tiny bit at a time. How much sugar in cupcakes?

    Mwa- Never apologize for language around here. NEVER!

    Jill- It's a ridonkulous word.

  14. My mother made cranberry relish. I remember her tray of relishes and other delicious things like spiced peaches and spiced apple. This makes me nostalgic.

  15. Getting ready for Thanksgiving is enough to perk about anybody up. My favorite holiday because it is about food, family and friends all stirred together. Glad that your preparations and ruminations are bringing that smile back to your voice.

    Love cranberries, too, that tart red pop and crunch in the mouth. This looks like a good recipe, but I might cut down the sugar just a little.
    Keeses. N2

  16. I love you and May, and I am so glad you are feeling a bit like your old self. That makes my whole Monday a bit brighter.

    I adore you!


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