Monday, November 8, 2010

I Know You're Getting Tired Of This

This is ridiculous. I feel worse now than I did this morning, worse than I did yesterday. And why am I posting so much?
Because I am lonely. It finally kicked in. I miss my husband, yes, I do. But honestly, I don't want anyone here because no one needs this cold. I missed going to Kathleen's appointment to meet the surgeon who will remove her lymph node tomorrow. I will miss the surgery. She cannot be around anyone who is sick right now.
I know it's not my fault that I have a cold but still, it seems so ridiculous. Me? Sick? This just does not happen.

I did take a walk this morning. I went past the post office and right up Main Street, not fast, but not shuffling, either, and it was so nice to be out in the good fresh air. So nice to wave hello to Miss Liola. Yell, "I have a cold! Don't get near me!" and have her say, "Ah, honey, take care of yourself!"

I came home and was going to plant some crazy-beautiful cool plants that Mr. Moon got me in the woods last week but when I started digging in the bed where I want to put them, red ants came up the shovel and covered my feet and I said, screw this, kicked off my shoes, put the shovel against the wall and came inside.

And I haven't been good for shit since then. I called Hank because he had this virus last week and he said it's either a really bad cold or a tiny flu. Either way, it just sucks. I don't feel SO bad that there isn't part of me that feels like I'm faking it while at the same time, I don't feel good enough to do any damn thing so I feel like I'm just being a wussy goldbrick.

I finished reading a book. I've been laying on the couch watching The Rachel Zoe project and why anyone in the world would watch this show is beyond me and I am. OH NO! DEMI'S DRESS FOR THE OSCARS ISN'T READY! THE WORLD WILL COME TO AN END! RACHEL DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY BECAUSE SHE'LL GET FAT!
Here's my advice to Rachel Zoe: Don't have a baby. Do the world a favor.
Here's my advice to her husband: Consider your options. You may be gay. It might be fun to find out.

Well, poor Rachel. Poor Whatever Her Husband's Name Is. These do not look like happy people. Not. At. All. I wish them all the best. They live in a different world than I do and for that, I am grateful.

My tea is cold again. I actually made my bed this morning which means it will be all the more comfortable when I get in it. It's almost time to go shut the chickens up so they'll be warm and cozy and safe from predators. I will probably feel better tomorrow.

And one day, and maybe not in the too-distant future, I know for a fact that I will look back on these few days I've spent at home and alone with a not so bad illness and I will remember this time fondly. And every mother in the world knows what I'm talking about. Sure, I'm a little sick but I don't have to take anyone to school or lessons, I don't have to cook supper for anyone or pack lunches, I don't have to do laundry or take care of other sick people while I myself am sick. It's sort of like a dream in some ways. And not a bad one, either. I have my annoying dogs, I have my internet, my trees to look at and books to read and food to eat and juice to drink and a very comfortable bed to get into tonight.

And Rachel Zoe. She seems to go on forever. I can look at her. I am glad she cannot look at me. She would have something to say about my outfit and it would not be nice.

But she'd look cute when she said it with that little crinkled up nose of hers.

All right. I'm off to make that trek to the chicken house. And I guess I better find something to feed the cats.

All is well. Except me. And I'm okay.


  1. Ah, Ms. Moon. Taking care of you and the chickens. For once, so simple. Knowing that soon you will be better and in the thick of things, I am blesssing your peace and quiet. (I do not remember ever checking in with your blog and finding it so quiet.)

  2. I for one am NOT sick of hearing about it, mostly because I looked at my google reader this morning and hit the mark as read button-and now I feel like crap because I have MISSED so much! I send you hugs and hope you feel a LOT better tomorrow!

  3. I'll tell you what, when it comes to physical injuries like broken bones or stitches, I'm a champ. But if I get sick, it feels like the end of the world. I'm the worst patient ever. I'm impressed that you took a walk and even thought about planting.

    Oh, and Rachel Zoe needs a sandwich like nobody's business.

  4. Laura- It is certainly quiet here. That is the truth.

    Dianne- Thank-you. It'll happen.

    Kori- Just a little virus. Nothing to get all excited about. Thanks, honey.

    G- I am certain that Ms. Zoe gets all fifty of her daily her calories from a Starbucks cup. This can't be healthy.

  5. Well, chicken soup is good for the soul. I mean, if you're going out to the henhouse...

  6. Be careful...I know that kind of quiet, eveningtide stillness can burrow inside of me and create something scary, especially when I"m in the haze of being sick. Be sure to watch something funny, hear a voice on the phone, think of us and how we lurve you.


  7. Who the fuck is Rachel Zoe?

    I am always lonely when I am sick too -mostly because I dont talk to anyone since my voice sounds so awful.

  8. Hey, girl.

    Just poking my head in.

    Hope you feel better soon and then don't tell anyone about it and sneak a whole day of luxury and silence for yourself.

    I'm just sayin'.

    wv- storm. huh.

  9. Ms. Liar- Hello! Thanks for dropping by! And I didn't need to kill a chicken. A friend brought me chicken soup three days ago and I'm still eating it.

    Maggie May- I'm okay. I finished a short story. It probably sucks but I did it. So that's good. And then I watched The Eyes of Tammy Faye and boy, is that weird. Now I'm going to bed. All okay. I sure appreciate your words, honey girl.

    SJ- She's some anorexic fashion person. She dresses famous people for big events and models for shoots. She's on Bravo. Bravo is like crack for me.

    Tearful- It's so nice to hear your voice. That's a good idea but Owen's coming tomorrow for a few hours and I MUST be better by then. But just a few hours. The rest of the day will be spent in rest, and then- Lord, I have GOT to get out in the world some, at least to buy cat food. I think Owen will put a healing on me. I miss him bad.
    Storm- yes- a very quiet one.

  10. I think the combination of being sick and missing the Mister is not making you happy. Heed the H.A.L.T. and just rest.

  11. It was good to read this. Thanks. Have been down with the brother of your virus since Sunday and sooo impatient to get rid of it and lonely like hell and and and. So yes I can relate a little bit. Thanks again.

  12. I spent yesterday fighting off a cold by dosing with homeopathics and vitamins and sleeping most of the day away. Today I am hopeful that I am keeping the monster at bay.

    I am sure I didn't get it from reading you =o)
    A gentleman friend here in the village was over last week and I am sure it was he who left this gift behind.

    Oh well, feel better so that you can hug that boy!

    x0x0 N2

  13. Good morning and I hope you are feeling much better today. This sounds trite but I believe it: sometimes being sick is the body's way of saying slow down and take care of me!

    I know Owen will be a great tonic. And when is Mr. Moon coming home???

    I'm sending you lots of love and healing energy:)

  14. I tried watching a few episodes of Rachel Zoe's show, but I kept finding something (anything) to do and wandering away from the damn TV. It quite frankly bored the shit out of me. I may finally have found the one reality TV show that was too mindless and boring even for me.

    Love you.

  15. Syd- Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. I love that advice. I'm working on it. Thanks for the reminder.

    call me any name- Even Ishmael? Haha. Like you've never heard that one before. Thanks for coming by. Be patient, you'll get better too.
    I promise.

    N2- Oh no! Keep me posted on how well all of that worked. I hope REALLY, REALLY well.

    Lulumarie- No. I agree with that. We have to pay attention. Mr. Moon is getting home next Friday or Saturday. Sigh...

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- She's, uh, different, isn't she?

  16. Now, I need to get on google and find out who Rachel Zoe is.

  17. You're right. It does seem like a fairytale - to be sick and not have to take care of everyone. I'm not sure I remember those days. Last time was about four years ago, I think - and I needed to be hospitalised before anyone would let me.

    I'm sending virtual vitamines your way.


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