Bless Our Hearts

Thursday, May 25, 2017

It's Okay For You To Laugh. Might As Well

Miss Camellia who comes to visit me on the porch every day. 

Either it's time for me to start doing the heroin retirement plan* or else the fact that my antidepressant prescription ran out and I didn't get it refilled for two days really kicked my ass. 

Or both. 

It wasn't a bad day at all. Gibson's graduation went fine although there must have been ten thousand pre-K'ers graduating and they read every name and every child walked across the stage and got two fist bumps and a diploma AND they showed every child's baby picture and graduation picture on a screen while they played songs guaranteed to make you weep like a child whose dog just died including Somewhere Over The Rainbow as done by IZ Kamakawiwo'ole and if you don't cry when you hear that song just go ahead and leave the planet because you are not of this world.
There were also songs and a few short presentations by the children and all of this took quite some time but at least we had two graduates to clap for as Darling Lenore graduated too. 

Owen was in a tearful and bad mood and wouldn't tell us why and actually crawled under the pew to ponder his sorrows in darkness and peace (the event was being held in a church) and I got down on my knees to talk to him and asked him if he'd murdered someone and he said, "How could I murder someone at SCHOOL?" and I could think of a few ways but I did not share them. Maggie was pretty good and flirted with a lot of people and went from Mer to Bop to Mommy to Daddy and took off her shoes and tried to put them back on and clapped with everyone else when it was appropriate but she cried when she banged her head on the wooden part of the pew, piteously and with great volume. By that time there were about ten young'uns' being held by parents in the back of the church and Lily and Maggie and then Jason and Maggie joined them. 
Finally, though, it was all over and here are our two graduates.

In the church and

outside with the family, and

Boppy with Gibson. 

So all of that was good and joyful but before the graduation I went to pick up my Macbook and the guy wanted me to look and make sure that all of my pictures were there and the woman who'd worked on it was hearing impaired and he had to translate and I looked at my iPhotos and there were indeed pictures and thousands of them and so I said, "Fine. Thank-you," and gave the woman a thumbs up and we flashed smiles and I was rushing because I wanted to get to Costco before the graduation and when I got home I realized that the only photos were the fucking photos from the Photo Booth and who cares about those? 
God dammit. 
Now I have to go back AND admit that I was in error. 
Thus- feeling like a fool. 
But add this to it- I went to Publix with the intention of getting my prescriptions and when I got there there were at least five people in line waiting to pick up their own meds so I decided to do my grocery shopping and then pick mine up and you know what happened. Of course you do. I completely forgot. 

Mr. Moon picked them up for me on his way home so all is not completely lost but I believe I am. Lost, that is. 

All right. Enough whinging.  

I guess.

Did I tell you what Mr. Moon got on the trail camera he set up by the chicken coop? A coyote! A nice, big healthy coyote with a big bushy tail. Also a possum. The possum I was expecting, the coyote, not really. The lesson here is to close up the hen house before it gets dark. And we have been and will do. At least it wasn't a bear which would not be completely surprising. I hear a bear can tear up a hen house in less time that it takes me to peel an onion and if I went out to shut up the chickens and found a bear, I'd never get over it. 
Not in this lifetime. Especially if he'd already massacred all of my birds. 

Well, no massacre tonight so far and the sun is setting and shining all golden on everything and I got to talk to Jessie and August today which was wonderful. When I said hello to August he said the same thing to me that Maggie always says when I talk to her which is, "Boppa?"
Jeez those babies love their grandfather. 
Jessie reports that all is well and here's a picture she sent me the other day of August having his afternoon tea and crackers on the floor. 

Time for me to start making plans to visit Asheville. 

Also time for me to start making supper. 

Love from Lloyd...Ms. Moon

*Back many years ago Mr. Moon and I made a semi-serious vow to begin the use of heroin when we reached the point where we were probably about to need to move into a nursing home. We would ride the white horse until the money ran out and then OD and although we'd use up all the kids' inheritance, we'd save them the trouble of having to deal with adult diapers, etc. 
We have been told this is probably not a wise retirement plan but we still haven't quite discarded the idea. I can't imagine where we would find the dope but where there's a will there's a way. 
Stay tuned for developments as the years proceed. 

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch


It's unbelievable here today. Actually cool and completely blue-skied and all is well and I just called the computer repair place and my MacBook is ready to pick up and why hadn't they called ME? Or texted or something. Jesus. I tried 45 times last night to post a bunch of pictures from yesterday from the app I use on the phone and that never worked and I'm just cranky as hell today and it's all first world problems but when you think about it, so is Donald Trump and that's a pretty serious problem. 
Well, my technology issues and my blog are not serious problems and I am quite aware of that. 

So anyway, here's a picture of May and Michael from yesterday's lunch at Japanica. 


And I guess that's all that really matters except wait. There's this-


Wherein Lily proclaimed Maggie to now be a member of Club Mud and how I can feel cranky is beyond me but I do. 

I'm going to go take a walk and later I'll be going to Gibson's Pre-K graduation and hopefully I'll cheer up. 

Love to all...Ms. Moon 

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

I Remember

It is May's birthday and the beautiful rain falls and the chickens run about without caring a bit that water is coming from the sky and I just picked a gallon of green beans, three cucumbers and a squash with my umbrella protecting me. 

It is as beautiful a day as I can imagine. Sky blessings as I remember May's birth- the simple miraculous wonder of it, how at dawn I held and beheld the life I had labored all night to bring forth to such perfect result. 

I will take her some green beans today along with her cake and other present. I will hold her again, this beautiful grown woman as her family celebrates her. 

This is life. This is how it can be. 
I am still amazed. I am still in wonder at all of it. 

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The World At Large And In Small

Another day, another massacre, another lick of flaming evil in the world, taking down the innocent, the young, the blameless in the name of some god, some belief system which incorporates violence and hatred and calls it their god's will, yet another one-true-religion and fuck them all.
They're all used in one way or another to justify behavior that which, if it had no religious backing, would be seen as everything ranging from at least a little bit crazy to downright evil and insane.

Oh, I don't know. I've been sitting here this morning answering comments left on my post yesterday- all of them so sweet and so lovely and which have made me feel appreciated and cared for and I am so grateful for all of them. Overwhelmed, truly.
I sit here day after day and write what about what seems to be the same things over and over and that is my life, and of course the backdrop remains the same, and even some of the lines of the script, but sometimes new characters arrive, new scenery provides itself, the dialogue changes, the circumstances take on new meaning.


Today is gray and rain threatens or promises, depending on your perspective, and I am full of dread because although I went to town yesterday determined to get a whole lot done, I got almost nothing done. I ran into two old friends completely by serendipitous accident and we sat and chatted for a good long time and it was wonderful but after that, I felt the need to flee home, and why?
I do not know.
I enjoyed that time so much, the catching up, the gossip, the giggles and sweetness, the recalling of memories. But then I just had to go home, as if the bank of social behavior had been overdrawn.
I hate that. It makes me feel ridiculous.
Sometimes I think this is something relatively new in my life. It seems to me that I used to do a lot more things with friends. No. I DID do a lot more things with friends.
But looking back I remember having anxiety about those things even then and wondering what was wrong with me.

Ah well, who cares? It is what it is and I am who I am and today I have to bite the damn bullet and get back to town and do the things I did not do yesterday and that's all there is to it.

And I will. I will muddle through it all and probably deserve an acting award when I am done, having successfully (one hopes) managed to do a reasonable impression of a normal old lady going about her normal old lady business in a smallish town in North Florida as she wondered constantly if she should take one of her precious stashed Ativan.

Ah lah.

Such problems I have.

And then comes the guilt for feeling this way when, as I have said on innumerable occasions- I am the luckiest woman alive.

Be well, y'all. And thank you so much for all of the beautiful words you left me yesterday and today. I will take all of you with me in my pocket and will be comforted as I carry you there and in my heart.

Love...Ms. Moon

Monday, May 22, 2017

Walking Pictures, Plus An Anniversary

I got out and took a good walk this morning. It's not quite as hot as it has been, although it's certainly hot enough for me to sweat like a Trojan. I believe my grandmother used to say that although I may be making that up.

It is a beautiful morning with dramatic sky, clear one moment and with picture clouds forming and shifting and changing overhead the next.

I saw at least six little bunnies running across or beside the road which is an unusual number for one of my walks. Here's one who I think was quite young and was as curious about me as I was about her. Or him. As the case may be.

I love to watch them run, their little tails bobbing up and down as they go. 

I found this tiny flower when I ducked back off the trail and into the woods to pee. 

I have looked it up and it is a mimosa microphylla, otherwise known as "little leaf sensitive briar" or "little leaf mimosa". It is a member of the pea family and if the leaves are touched, they fold up. Isn't it pretty?

Okay. This picture is of a mud puddle. 

A large mud puddle, I grant you, but isn't it beautiful? It is to me as it indicates we've had some good rain. 

And there you go. It's Monday and another week begins. Wednesday is May's birthday and Thursday is Gibson's graduation from Pre-K. It is the time of year for celebrations and cakes and baby bunnies and blooming wild flowers and heat and sweet showers and the perfume of magnolia blossoms in the air. 

And I just remembered! Today is the tenth anniversary of my blog. This post will mark the six thousandth, six hundred and thirty-second post I've published. 
No. I can't believe that either. 
If I may ask a favor- would you leave a comment if you care to, to help me celebrate? Maybe tell me how you found me, how long you've been here, where you're from, etc? 
I would appreciate that so much. 
Thank you. 

So Much Love...Ms. Moon

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Was This A Great Weekend Or What?

Well, it has been just about the perfect weekend for me. Yesterday I was fairly productive and got a lot of stuff done in the garden including planting, as I said, and it rained which bodes well for the little seeds in the dirt, and I made two great suppers and today I mostly rested. Seriously. The only thing I've done today is to make breakfast for Mr. Moon and Lily and me and to lay those two pieces of pattern out which will be part of a dress I'm making for Miss Magnolia June.
There was also a game of gin rummy (I lost- who cares?) and some watching of Miss Fisher's Murder Mystery, and some excellent marital snuggles.

The bug bites sucked but that's just life. If you live in North Florida, anyway.

So do you want to hear what I made for supper last night?

Okay, that doesn't look like much but in all actuality, it was the very best noodle soup I've ever made. And healthy? Put your hand on the Bible, babies, this soup would cure your ills. Broth and tofu and garden onions and carrots and snow peas and ginger and collards and millet and brown-rice noodles and a few dumplings. Mr. Moon kept saying, "This is the best supper ever!" 
Which is weird because it didn't have any venison in it. 
And to balance all the healthiness out, I made

brownies with pecans and extra frosting!!!!!

Oh yeah.

So tonight we're having leftovers of pizza and noodle soup and brownies.
I'm way too excited about that to be a normal person.

So why did Lily come over for breakfast without her children?

Jason and his mother and brother and sister-in-law and Owen and Gibson and Maggie and darling Lenore all went down to Cocoa Beach for a ceremony honoring Jason's dad (among others) who was a police officer who was killed when Jason was a little boy. Of course they did a lot of other fun things like go swimming in the motel pool. Jason posted this picture on Facebook.

You can see just how much Maggie suffered, being away from her mother. 
That child. 
But Lily had some much needed rest and went out with Hank on Friday night for supper and drinks and came over here this morning to visit her old ma and pa and eat some eggs and biscuits and grits. I'm so glad she got the rest because good Lord, she needed it. And deserved it. 
And Jason gets the Dad of the Year award for offering her the weekend off and having such fun with their babies. 

I remember once when Mr. Moon took all of our kids to Nashville to visit his parents and gave me the weekend off. 
No. I will not report what all I did but trust me when I tell you it was wonderful and delicious and mostly legal. 

All right. To round things out, here's a picture that Jessie sent me. 

She and Vergil and August went to a family wedding in Lexington and on the way back to Asheville they stopped at a restaurant in Tennessee which is owned and operated by former Russian circus performers. 
In the middle of nowhere. 
They ate stroganoff and borsht and stuffed cabbage. 

And here's another picture of her handsome lads at a Huddle House which for those of you who do not know is like the rip off version of the Waffle House but which can serve a mighty fine breakfast. 

So it's been a good weekend and Lily just texted a picture of Maggie nursing and the words, "All is right with the world," and they are all home and they were all excited to see Mama. My chickens have made me laugh, my garden has made me feel wealthy and happy, and my husband has made me feel loved. 

I could not and would not ask for anything more. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Too Much Nature, Part Forty-Nine

Yesterday I must have been bitten by another yellow fly, this time on the hand. It is still swollen like a cartoon hand.

This morning I went to sit down in a chair on the porch, put my hand down on the chair and realized immediately that a wasp was already there. It stung me. Of course. Who can blame it?

Just went out to the garden and was looking at the chicken Mr. Moon was trying to chase out when it became abundantly clear to me that I was standing in a nest of red ants.

I might just go back to bed as I believe I may have already used up my daily quota of curse words.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

I Am So Grateful For All Of This

Old Mer is a happy woman tonight. I got a lot done in the garden. The onions and shallots had started letting their green tops flop over which is an indication that they're done growing so I pulled those and trimmed the tops and laid them on a sheet on the porch to dry and cure. It takes a few weeks to let the tops seal off and the skins to become papery. After that, they should store for a good long time. I did some weeding, pulled the rest of the collards, and planted some gourds and a little okra and some more zipper cream peas.
I am not sure when I think I am going to be able to shell all the peas I'm planting but I sure am looking forward to the ping of them as they hit the bowl after I've slid my thumb nail down the pods to release them.
And cooking them.
And eating them.
I picked another big bunch of green beans and Mr. Moon picked eight nice cucumbers, three of which we had let go a little too long. They are huge.

I will confess that I had to lay down for awhile with my fans blowing on me in the air conditioning between garden workings. And if sweating really does rid us of toxins, I am toxin-free.
Haha! As if.

Mr. Moon mowed and trimmed today and the yard looks great. Soon the phlox will be blooming and the whole yard will be a cloud of pinky lavender.

I've had a shower. There are clean sheets on the bed. I just watched Joe Cocker chase Miss Honey across the yard which indicates to me that these babies are reaching, uh...sexual maturity...which means that the hens should be laying soon. I've yet to hear crow one come out of either of the young roosters but I know that soon they'll be trying out their crackly young voices which always delights me and reminds me of the early years of high school.

Dear GOD I feel rich.

I remember telling a boyfriend a long, long time ago that I was a peasant. He laughed at me, but looking back on that, I think I had an absolutely true insight.
I am a peasant.
A peasant who sure is appreciative of air conditioning, running water, a good stove, and a device I can download books to listen to as I go about my peasant-y business.

All Love...Ms. Moon

Saturday morning and there are some of the chickens, Mick's head held high as befits his alpha rooster status. Hank asked me yesterday what I'm going to do if the new roosters fight and are mean.
I said, "I will teach them not to be mean," and then rolled my eyes because I have no idea how to do that. We shall just see what we see.

As we shall see what we see about how this day progresses. I want to get out into the garden but I am in a gap between hormone prescriptions and life may well become a living hot mess/hot flash hell. The temperature is not that bad- merely in the eighties I believe, but it rained last night (hurray!) and the humidity is horrendous. I will try, anyway.

Which is all we can do. A trip to the Wacissa may be in order later today.

Carry on, my wayward friends.

Love...Ms. Moon

Friday, May 19, 2017


Yeah. I'm a vain woman who is proud of her cooking.
There's no pizza delivery in Lloyd.
So this is what happens.

Which has turned into these:

The alchemy of flour and yeast and salt and water and olive oil and vegetables and a little bit of ham steak (buy one, get one free at Publix this week!) and fire, and cheese which is magic performed with milk. 

When I was eighteen years old I got to go to Europe and one of the places we visited was a dairy farm in Switzerland. We saw the pretty cows and we went into the barn where the farmer showed us how he made the cheese and then pulled an accordion from the rafters of that very barn and strapped it on and played it and sang a song in which yodeling was involved. 

I've never thought about cheese the same way again. 

How grateful I am for those cows, that barn, that farmer, that accordion. 

Time to eat!

Love...Ms. Moon

Life In Lloyd, Part A Million

That's a pretty crappy picture of a fallen pine in the swampy area that I pass on my walk. It's almost an entire city block (if Lloyd had blocks) of woods and ferns and palms. I can only imagine the animals who live in there. Nothing too big of course because it's surrounded by pavement and there are houses on one side of it, but I imagine that a lot of possums and coons and rabbits live back in there. I've seen hawks in that area so they're probably nesting there along with who-knows-what other kinds of birds.

As I got on the entrance to the interstate today to come home from town, I saw another hawk sitting on the grass fairly close to the road. This is not normal hawk behavior and I wondered if he was injured but he looked perfectly fine, merely sitting there, looking at everything with his hawk-eyes.
I took the interstate instead of the back roads because I wanted to get home. I'd started out my time in town with these two, having lunch and that part was lovely.

But then I decided to go to Target because I wanted a new dish drainer. 
Jesus Christ. I don't even know why. Because mine was funky despite my efforts at cleaning it and I guess someone has to buy that shit made in China so it might as well be me. I had a small anxiety attack in the store and did not spend time leisurely looking at shit. I sped through, picking up a tank top, a black bathing suit bottom, a few personal hygiene items, and then bogged down completely trying to find the fucking dish drainers. 
I finally found someone to ask and of course they aren't in the kitchen section because that would be too obvious but on the aisle down from the light bulbs. Then I panicked because I can never remember whether I need the LARGE dish drainer or the SMALL dish drainer and by god, I was not going to leave that store without a dish drainer and so I got the small one, figuring that even if it was too small, it would at least fit in the sink. 
Guess what? 
I needed a small one so that worked out well. 

Then I had to go to Costco and I even had to get gas and then I had to go to Publix (where, by the way, they sell dish drainers) and by then I was desperate to get home. 

Thus, the interstate. 

I was so glad to take the exit into Lloyd. So glad. I passed the place where they tore down the truck stop and are building another one if the local gossip is true, and then that spot of swamp and woods in the picture above. Took a right at the light and I was home, baby. 

It's Friday night and so I'm sipping a martini and I have pizza dough rising. At Publix I almost just bought a frozen pizza but I couldn't do it. I am on the back porch and keeping half an eye on the activity by the chicken coop. The two young roosters I have named Little Richard and Joe Cocker (get it?) just had their evening bow-up and now Mr. Moon is setting up a trail cam. Why? Because last night we were negligent and didn't close the door to the hen house soon enough and some critter got in and took Hawk, that pretty little black hen I posted a picture of just a few days ago. I know that it was either a raccoon or a possum but Mr. Moon wants to know exactly what is stalking our chickens because- again, I don't know why. 
He's a man. 
We just need to close the damn door as soon as they go to roost. 
But it gives him a project and that is important. 

It's supposed to rain the next few days and I'm sure hoping it does. We're dry and I crave the smell of rain, the sound of thunder, the sight of cracking lightening. 

And that's the news from Lloyd today. I hope everyone is having a happy Friday. Or at least a decent one. 

Be well. 

Love...Ms. Moon