Some actors count their lines. I have been known to do this myself when the number of lines can be counted on one hand.
For this part, I can't count that high. It would take me an hour just to count the lines. I am not even kidding you.
This is ridiculous. What do the "kids" say? Ridonkulus. Haha! Just kidding. I know the kids don't really say that.
(Or do you? Tell me, kids.)
My only hope in this entire world is that the play is so well written and that there is such a flow that I might have a chance. I've been in plays where the flow was so bad and there was NO SENSE to any of the dialog that it was almost impossible to remember. I mean- what was the point? And then there was that play in which I played four or five different characters. That was amazingly fun but hard as hell. Especially the costume changes. I'd still be backstage right this second, trying to change out of pants and into a dress if Kathleen hadn't been there to help me. And make chicken salad.
Ah Lord. I hope that Jan and Jack don't end up regretting making me Truvy. I swear.
I talked to Billy today and he wants to get with me to run lines and discuss costumes. Now that makes my heart just happy as hell. And if you don't know the wonder that is Billy, just do a search on my blog. Billy loves the movie Steel Magnolias with all of his huge heart. I think if he had the time, he would have dressed in drag and come to auditions.
Anyway, it's been a good day. The yolk of the egg of my depression and anxiety has finally cracked a bit and I almost felt...okay today. Seriously. I did. I got to talk to Billy and I chatted with FC Rabbath on the Facebook and I talked to Kathleen and I bought a turkey and I made the cranberries. I also got to see Lily at Publix and got some kisses from my husband. And made waffles.
So. The turkey is "thawing" in the refrigerator. It says that it'll take three or four days to thaw. Now you know that's a lie. Three or four thousand days would be more accurate. Has anyone ever really completely thawed a turkey in the refrigerator? DO NOT THAW AT ROOM TEMPERATURE!! the label says. Honeys, if that killed you, we'd all be dead. And now "they" tell us that if we stuff the turkey, we are in danger of dying from bacteria. As far as I'm concerned, a turkey is nothing more than a holder for stuffing. So screw that. And speaking of "they," here is a very, very short film by Freddy about the dreaded and much-quoted "they." Like, less than two minutes.
Kathleen told me that she brines her turkeys. I had to ask her what that meant. She said you soak it in salt water for a day before you cook it. Martha Stewart started this brining business.
"Why?" I asked Kathleen.
"It makes it moister," said Kathleen. We were having this discussion at the Waffle House.
"I don't give a shit if it's moist or not," I said. "That's what gravy's for."
And there you go.
I'm just so glad to feel like a human being again. So glad to feel like maybe I've got a little of my self back, a little of my sass, a little of my sense of humor. I hope I feel the same way tomorrow. I'm still worried as hell about getting everything ready before the party on Wednesday and I'm EXTREMELY worried about learning all those lines and everything else I was worried about yesterday, both real and imagined, but I am not paralyzed with it. I am remembering that you have to take things one step at a time, one line at a time, one casserole at a time, one trip to the grocery store at a time, one damn everything at a time. And you know what? Every one of you has helped me to remember that.
If you ever, EVER stop to wonder if I read my comments or if they mean anything to me- let me say this- YES! Oh hell, yes.
And I can never thank you enough for them. Y'all are the gravy on my turkey, the bone in my back, the hope in my heart, the angel in my biscuit.
I mean it.
Now here's the recipe for the cranberry relish which I make and which May and I love. Enjoy.
Cranberry Relish
Wash and core two apples and process in the food processor until nice and fine.
Do the same with one orange, peel and all. Remove the seeds, though.
Run a bag of cranberries through the processor too. Everything should be about the same size. Smallish.
Now do about half a cup of pecans the same way.
Mix it all up together with a cup and a half of sugar and 1/8th tsp. of salt.
Let it sit for a few days.
It's good.
And it looks real pretty in a nice bowl.
Yours truly...Ms. Moon
