This is what I kept thinking of last night when Levon had a small accident around two and needed dry clothes and a dry place to sleep so I brought him into bed with us after I'd changed him out of his pajamas. Instead of that little boy and little girl there in the bed above, there was only one small boy and a very fat cat between Mr. Moon and me but somehow, that's exactly how it felt.
We got some sleep. Then around six, the small boy decided that it was time to wake up and he did try his best to be quiet until I told him that it was truly time but it wasn't long before his brother on his fold-out bed started whistling and rustling about and then came and got in bed too. He and Levon hugged as if they'd not seen each other since before the war and it was about that time that Mr. Moon quit trying to pretend he was still asleep and took those boys out to watch TV while he dozed in his chair and I dropped back into sleep like a rock into a well.
By the time I actually got up and got breakfast made, it was ten o'clock and the boys shoveled in pancakes with alarming joy.
"How do you like your pancakes?" I asked them.
"P is for Perfect," said August.
"Good," said Levon.
"G is for Good," said August.
"S is for smart," said MerMer.
Last night had gone so smoothly. So easily. I texted Jessie when they were asleep that they'd been as good as gold. And they had been! They ate their chicken and dumplings and their purple cows.
And then it was into their beds with cozy blankets and BOOM! they were asleep and I stayed awake too long (as it turned out) reading a book I'm reading about the intentional community in India called Auroville. "Better to Have Gone: Love, Death, and the Quest for Utopia in Auroville."
Rather strange book. The deal is, is that both the author and his wife were raised in Auroville and have now returned there to live as adults with their two sons. The place has many of the earmarks of a cult including a charismatic founding leader called "The Mother." I heard an interview with the author on NPR and you know me- tell me a good cult story and I'm a happy girl.
So when Levon woke me up, I'd only been asleep a few hours and today I have been rather exhausted, I must say. But you know- there are far worse reasons to be exhausted than having been cuddled up with a grandchild. I probably kept HIM awake part of the night, kissing his head and tenderly and so very softly tracing his tiny hand with my own old, rough fingers. In the dark, dark part of the night that hand seemed more than miraculous to me. Still a fraction of the size of an adult hand, still so new, really, with all of its nails and knuckles, it's fingertip whirls, its brilliant ability to grasp and pluck and squeeze and hold.
So- you know. It was a little frustrating not being able to get good sleep but it was rather lovely, too.
"Save me some," I said.
"Well...we eat it pretty fast," said August.
Who in the world would give away their edibles?
Not anyone I know.