I woke up this morning from dreams which I described to Kathleen as the floor sweepings of complete junk, dumped out for my brain to show me.
And then after actually thinking about them for three or four seconds, I realized they had more obvious meaning than anything I've dreamed in a long, long time which is not to say they WEREN'T the results of brain floor sweepings, it's just that my brain has some really untidy and nasty stuff in there.
Kathleen wanted to go home this morning and said she was feeling fine so I took her. When we pull into her place, I always feel as if we are entering a kingdom of sorts, a magical kingdom where the dogs and the cats and the chickens and the flowers all reach out to her in the light of her own piece of this earth's sun and embrace her back into themselves. The dogs are frantic to see her again, the cats act as they don't care but each must have his or her scratch and rub, each must have part of mama in some way. The roses, still blooming, seem to open a little fuller, the peeps sing a little sweeter.
She is that sort of woman who has created a kingdom of simple and good things and she is happy there.
There is so much to be said for that. There is so much I could say about loving Kathleen.
I talked to Mr. Moon and he is on his way home to me. I am so glad. He got to ramble and rove around the place he grew up, he got to see his cousins, he got to hunt and fish. He is not bringing home a Tennessee buck but he is bringing home memories and something he can only get from going there, just as I can get things in Roseland I can get no where else.
I will be so glad to see him pull in tonight. So very, very glad.
I guess I am going to the Opera House this afternoon. They are having auditions for Steel Magnolias and hell, I might as well try. I've never seen the play or read it either but I know it's quite different from the movie and it all takes place in Truvy's beauty salon and there are no men in the cast. Only six women. As much energy and time as it takes to be a part of a stage play, I know it is good for me. I know I need to step out of myself at times and put something else on center stage, quite literally. And who knows? I may not get a part. I can only imagine that every woman in Jefferson county would like to be a part of this and half the women in Leon county, too. But I'll go.
I've done no preparation and it'll be cold reading but I'll do the best I can.
I will do the best I can.
Which is what I am doing this day. I swear. I feel like I'm in the middle of a crazy sea that pops up tsunamis one moment and the waves wash me into a placid place the next.
Here are some pictures. Jessie took the ones of Owen yesterday. When Kathleen and I got back from Thomasville Jessie was here taking care of Owen until I could get back and when I took him on my hip, it was like I could finally breathe again.
Look at this face:
And look at this face:
I took that of Elvis this morning.
And the faces of the loquats:
They are opening now to the delight of the bees.
And then finally this:
He is so brave and so curious and he has my heart in every pocket of his jeans and he has my soul in his finger.
It is one of those days where I cannot understand why I have to feel everything so damn much.
I guess I just have to. And if I didn't, well, I would not be who I am. I would not be floating in this crazy sea and I would have missed everything that matters.
That's what I'm telling myself as I do my best, as I think about the things revealed in sleeping, dreaming, and awakening.
Happy Saturday, y'all.