
Sort of like New Year's itself.
We tremble on the edge of one sliver of time and then dive off it into another, like stradling the crescent moon or something. Of course it's all man-made and as I said in last year's New Year's post, we had to invent time and clocks and calenders so we'd all get to your dentist appointments at the appropriate moment. But it's one of those things that as a culture we agree to pretend exists and so we all live by it, Eastern Standard Time, Pacific Mountain Time, Whatever Time.
All I know is that we like to think in chunks and blocks of time and this chunky block of 2008 is about to come to an end and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!
Oh, 2008 had its great moments. My daughter Lily getting married to her man, Jason, giving us a new son to play with. And we do love to play with Jason. So that was a happiness.
And Obama got elected and I still catch myself shaking my head sometimes and thinking, "Really? The United States did that? Who knew?"
And we must admit it was an entertaining year, what with the election and all. Who could have dreamed up Sarah Palin? Not me and I have a good imagination.
And of course there was the joy of knowing that 2008 was the very last full year that George Asshole Moron Total Idiot Fuckhead Bush would be president. Sort of like the joy of knowing that labor would someday be over, but without the option of an epidural.
But it was also the year that I lost my mind and I'm still sweeping the floor and trying to gather all the scattered pieces of it, then sitting here with a bottle of super glue, attempting to figure out which piece goes where. Let me say this- it's never a good sign after you reassemble something to find extra parts leftover. Or big gaping wholes where parts are obviously still missing.
But I'm working on it. It's an ongoing project.
I made some new friends this year and that has been a blessing and one I did not expect at this advanced stage of the game.
Mr. Moon still seems to like me okay and that's the sort of blessing I can't even begin to fit my heart around. I was thinking the other day how each and every thing that happens to us as a couple takes on new meaning and depth, the older we grow. When you're young, it would seem that you have billions of years before you and so why bother cherishing the tiny moments that really, in retrospect, make up the whole of a goodness? As you age, you realize the weight and meaning of it all and know that it will not go on forever because we will not go on forever. Some days those things are almost too weighty to bear and I think this may be why some couples start doing a drifting apart-thing as they age. It's like a practice for when the inevitable endtime comes.
I'd rather not do that. I'd rather collect the tiny stones until my pockets rip. There's no way to prepare for some things so why try? I'm just trying to appreciate it all.
My Lynn died this year and that was a blessing in its way. I still see her dancing with her long hair flying behind her, her arms raised up to the sky and so, for me at least, she is.
My kids are all doing well. Some of them have made some giant, huge, brave steps and jumped over their own personal Walls of China or maybe even mountain ranges that put the Himalayas to shame, and let me tell you something- I am in awe. I knew when my first child was born that my schooling had now begun and I was right but I had no idea the amount of learning I'd be doing from my children. So they, as always, are right at the top of my joy, my blessings.
And here I am, about to celebrate New Years with my man and two of the best friends anyone could ever have, right here in Lloyd, Florida in the house I love which has offered itself as my home for almost five years now and I couldn't feel any more blessed about that. Big Lou and Mr. Moon are going to grill us some grouper and we'll eat oysters and shrimp and cocktail crab claws and whatever else Maxine and I cook up on that new stove of mine.
And tomorrow there will be black-eyed peas and greens and cornbread and sitting on the porch and taking it easy, having made the sharp slide into 2009.
And there's not much else to say except to hope that Barack Obama is the man he appears to be and that he surrounds himself with sage and powerful thinkers and moves through his term with eyes wide open, ears too. And that he faces the truths of the messes we're in with a courageous heart and has the wisdom and power to help us face them while he tries to untangle with wicked webs which have been woven over the past eight years.
We're all going to need courage and wisdom and we're going to have to be innovative and adaptable and we're going to have to replace a lot of priorities and I hope we're up to that because it's high time.
And one more thing- if you're a reader of this blog of mine, I'd like to thank you from the very bottom of my heart. Some days, this blog is what gets me out of bed. I'm serious. And if you've never left a comment, I wish you would, just to say hello. It would be more than swell if I heard from some of the people who come here, read, and silently slip away. I would be more than grateful to hear a little hello from some of you. And for those of you who do comment regularly and who write your own blogs, please know that you have bouyed me up on your shoulders and given me the strength and humor and wisdom that I've needed to help me get on with life so many times I can't even begin to express my gratitude.
No man is an island and this woman certainly is not.
I know for sure that I would not have made it through this past year without my family, my friends, and this blog. And by this blog I mean _you_.
And so to you I say:
Get ready. Check your wings, get your battleaxes and horns in place. It's almost time to jump.
Be safe. Soar high. Be sweet.
Bless our hearts.
See you tomorrow.