No, I Am Not Getting Paid For This. I Wish.

It's unbelievable to me how cool it is this morning. Fifty-seven degrees and according to my weather app, it FEELS like fifty-seven degrees but how in hell do they know? If you're from New Jersey, it might feel like fifty-eight whereas if you're from Lloyd, it might feel like forty-eight.

It's all relative. You start throwing stuff like feelings into science and boy, you've got problems.

I know. That's not what it really means, but still.

I continue to be in love with my iPhone. I can't help it. The other day Billy needed me to go get the milage off of his granddaddy's Model A Ford which was in our garage (long story) and so I went out there with my phone and it was dark in the garage and in the car so I used my flashlight app to find the odometer and then the camera app to take a picture of it and then the message-sending ability to mail the picture to Billy and there you go.
Of course, back in the olden days (a few months ago) I could have walked out there with a regular flashlight and found the odometer and written down the milage and come back into the house and either e-mailed Billy or called him but that's not NEARLY as cool, y'all.

When we were on the island I got so excited about Julia's Audubon Bird App that I bought one too. I sprang for the entire $2.99 it cost and now I can identify birds with pictures, shapes, family, name and hear their calls. And see the maps of their ranges. And keep track of all the birds I see but I probably won't do that. But. I could. And for $2.99?

Mr. Moon and Lily and I all play each other in Words With Friends. That one was free. I can find your blogs on my phone (google reader app) and read Huffpost (there's an app for that) and Facebook too if I'm really bored. I can shoot pretty damn good video with it. I haven't exactly figured out how to transfer the video to something like this blog but I'm sure it can be done. I can go to Youtube and watch teeny-tiny videos of Keith Richards if I want. I HAVE KEITH RICHARDS IN MY POCKET! This, alone, is worth the price to me. Not that I actually sit around and watch videos of Keith Richards but I COULD IF I WANTED TO! Or needed to.

I can check the weather with radar on two different apps that I have. I can "surf the web" as they say. I can google anything which comes in handy as my brain ages and loses its information. E-mail? Yep. I can even post a blog. I still suck at the typing part but it can be done. Slowly. For me. I love watching the "young people" type on the iPhone. Their deft and nimble fingers fly and blur. When I type it's like dut-dut-dut-dut, shit, dut-dut-dut....


Billy says his favorite app (I don't think he has an iPhone but he has a smart phone) is Netflix so he can watch all of his favorite TV shows while Waylon is watching "his" shows on the big TV. I'm not there yet. That would require concentration. I also haven't figured out how to download audio books but I know that that, too, can be done.

For the last play I was in, I downloaded and used a recording app to help me learn my lines. I can write myself notes and reminders on my phone. I can ask Siri to remind me of stuff and she will. Hell, I can ask Siri anything and she'll answer me unless she's premenstrual or something.
I can also play Angry Birds.
Let's not discuss that.

So yeah. I'm sort of wondering how in the world I managed to get along before this device entered my life. But you know what my favorite thing to do with my phone is, right?
Taking and receiving pictures of my grandsons. Of course.

Like these two of Gibson.

Grandparents used to be restricted to carrying around photos of their grandbabies in a small album or in their wallet. Ha! Screw that shit. Now we can pull out our iPhones and bore the entire universe with hundreds, HUNDREDS, of darling pictures.

It's a dream come true.

And of course we can text the parents of our grandchildren and demand that they send us cute pictures right this second. And they do!
We can also text each other and say things like, "Can you please pick up some bananas on your way home?" and "We need a new bale of hay for the chickens."

Etc.

I suppose we could even sext each other. Mr. Moon and I. I could send him provocative pictures. Theoretically.
If I was still provocative in any way.

All right. That's enough of that. Good morning. It's Monday. I don't know what I'm doing today. I should try to take a walk and then get in the garden and work a little bit in there.

Or something.

Whatever it is that I do, I'll probably take my iPhone with me. I might need to identify a bird or take a picture of some blackberry bushes or...wait. Make a call! Yes! You can even call people on your iPhone!
Again, this is fairly theoretical because I very rarely call anyone and hardly anyone calls me.

But. I could.

Happy Monday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon