Wednesday, August 22, 2012

In Which I Once Again Admit That I Am An Old Hippie And That Yes, I Believe In Peace And Love

I am feeling the exact opposite of the way I felt when I got back back from Mexico last January.
That feeling I had from staring at the Caribbean and letting my neurons be re-aligned from that water, that sky, that air- that Just Be-ing.

It just feels all gone and my neurons feel like they have fire ants in them, crawling up and down my spine, into my heart, my chest, my legs, my arms, especially my mind.

It's my fault.
I read the damn news. That's one thing I've done wrong.
Another thing is to fucking read fucking Face Book.
I stuck my shovel into a pile of ants yesterday when someone I know from long ago posted what I consider to be a crapload of untruths about how illegal immigrants are sucking up all of the tax money and services in this country while we "real" Americans are working our butts off to support them. "Like if you agree!"
I won't even get into it but I think it's a sign of something very deep and very angry and very bitter going on in a lot of people and honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with illegal aliens, but people do listen to those vomiting mouths of Rush and Glenn and those guys just push this shit about how our system is broken and I have to wonder what in hell that means. Sure, it's not even near perfect here in the Good Ol' US of A but when was it? and last I looked, the libraries are still open and so are the schools, even though they are severely underfunded and the interstate is still there and the Highway Patrol is lined up, pulling speeders, and the internet's working and honestly? I think a lot of people are still just completely mouth-opened freaked that we have a black president.

Which probably makes me as simple-minded as people who honestly believe that the problems in this country are due to illegal immigrants or gay people getting married or...whatever bullshit people can wrap their minds around to blame troubles on.

So anyway, I stuck my shovel into the ant pile and it did not go well. And these things never do. Facts have nothing to do with how people think and feel these days. I wonder if they ever did?
It's so much easier to simply select a target and direct hatred that way. To sum up the bitterness and anger in one tidy place, to think that if THAT changed, all would be well and we could be living once again in a Normal Norman Rockwell version of a dream that never really existed to begin with. To demonize a segment of the population which can't even begin to defend itself being too damn busy trying to make enough money to buy a loaf of bread, a bag of beans, a tank of gas to get from one tomato field to another.

It all makes me sick, this hatred and these lies and it makes me sick that we have lost our compassion and that we wrap our anger up in a flag.

Listen- one time when I was tripping on acid (yes, I admit it- I did LSD), I began to ponder the boundaries, the borders, the imaginary lines and circles which define not only where my property begins and yours ends or where one country begins and another ends, but also the very depths of the earth under the land upon which our feet are planted and I was struck by the absolute hilarity of how we humans spend so much time and energy defending these imaginary borders and lines and circles and how, in the vast reaches of time, these lines have no meaning, really, and how silly we are, trying to hold on to what, once we die, will be completely and utterly meaningless to us.

Oh. Don't get me wrong. I love my little plots of land but I am quite aware of the fact that despite the fact that Mr. Moon and I own pieces of paper which state that for legal purposes, we are the owners of them, that in truth, we are only care-taking them for the amount of time we are here. Can I own these oak trees which were here centuries before I was born and which will be here for at least another hundred years after I die? Will our property in Apalachicola even be here a hundred years from now, bordering the rising waters as it does?

I feel the same way about our country. We have made agreements among ourselves that on this side of this line we are REAL Americans and on that side of that line, they are NOT Americans and it is our duty as the REAL Americans to prevent those NOT-Americans from crossing and using our stuff.
I can't go there.
We are all of the human family and yes, we have a government and they have a government and blah, blah, blah but I can't help but feel great compassion for those who are brave enough and desperate enough to leave their homes, their families, to risk their lives to cross the border to look for work to feed their children. Would I be as brave?
I don't think so.

And see, this kind of thinking will get you in trouble. This kind of thinking will get you branded as all sorts of crazy stuff. And maybe I am crazy. And to tell you the truth- sometimes I just think I am.

I was told on Facebook that life is not all about love and peace and rock and roll. I was reminded that I do not work and have not worked for a very long time.

Honestly, I wish life WERE more all about peace and love and rock and roll. Or music of some sort. Because all that other stuff? The anger and the war and the military and the giant corporations which are really the ones, if we face the truth, who are running every damn thing are NOT working that well.

And no, I don't work. For money. Every thing I do is for love which makes me lazy and probably crazy, too, at least in the eyes of others.

Well. Another day where I can only really and truly take care of what is before me which is this house, this family, myself. If I am honest, I don't have time to worry about all of the other stuff. Not really. I don't have the energy, any way.

I am missing Mexico. I am sore need of re-aligning these old neurons once again. I am in sore need of being in another country where other families, not one bit different than my own, work hard to support and take care of what they have to support and take care of and where no one is throwing the damn flag in my face, no one is claiming that if I don't think this is the greatest country ever in the history of the universe I am some sort of traitor.

I need to shake the ants out of my soul, those itchy burning, stinging ants.

I need to stop going to Facebook.

I need to stop worrying about what other people think and believe. It is not my job to try and change them anymore than it is their job to try and change me. The only thing that will change me is time and trying to keep my own mind open to the undefined realities of the universe which are not already confined and circled with lines on a map.


Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Yes! I need to avoid facebook as well for the same reasons. I guess people feel safe posting all that hatred because they don't have to do it to anyone's face, but if they were confronted with the reality of a person instead of these mass generalizations about groups of people, would they say the same? I've blocked so many people now that there's almost no one left...

  2. "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" Jiddu Krishnamurti
    . . . I won't even say where I read that quote ;-)
    Love and peace x

  3. I delete people who piss me off like that--the only two i've kept are family. The others? People I barely remember and don't care to ever see again? Fuck 'em. It's damn HARD not to stick shovels in ant hills sometimes, and I've done it myself.

    What the fuck does it matter that you haven't "worked" in a long time? Are you not allowed to have an opinion because of it? Bullshit. That's as inane as me not getting to have any opinions on ANYTHING because I'm not that most holy of holy things--a mother.

  4. I was impressed by the emotionality of your writing. there is so much truth to what you say, and wisdom as well - but its easier to hate than to actually open up a heart and think and change something when hollow words, hate and blame work seemingly just as well. I am not from the US, so in a way I dont face the conflicts you described, but I can understand where you are coming from and I definitely agree.

    And though things did not go well because you spoke up, you did the right thing to do so - a couragous, maybe crazy too, but a good thing. And anyway - if normalicy is hate, love of profit and useless blame... than such normalicy is overrated and not worth it anyway.

  5. I've been thinking about this all week in the context of Diana Nyad, the woman who just pulled up short in her fourth attempt to swim the 100+ miles from Cuba to the Keys. Considering the list of natural obstacles she was facing (sharks, jellyfish, storms, etc) can you even imagine how staggeringly desperate somebody would have to be for a better life to get into a rickety little boat and face the same thing without a support crew???

  6. You work and your work, watching those grandbabies, adds more value to the world than does that of some random bag checker at Walmart, who makes sure that everything in a bag leaving that store has been paid for.
    I'd delete this 'friend' on Facebook. He/she really isn't your friend.

  7. Or you can just click "unfriend."

    It's difficult to remember that this heightened bullshit and rhetoric, particularly from conservatives, always ramps up in election year. If it doesn't kill us, it'll all be over in early November.

  8. I find that when people criticize me for not "working", there is always an element of jealousy there.
    Nothing I can do about that.

    LSD profoundly taught me that we are ONE, truly ONE. And that, as you say, we do not own this land, this earth, we are only caretakers and sometimes very poor ones at that.

    I am so proud to call you Sister xx

  9. Whoa! I especially like the wrapping up all the anger in a flag. That was brilliance!

    I know, all the hate feels like it's sucking up all my hope that the world will be a better place for Harley and Owen and Gibson and Waylon and and and...

    Keep breathing deeply and remembering Cozumel. Oh, and stay off FB!!! :-) yikes!

  10. I adore you and I know too, the news will take me down.

  11. Just cut Facebook out of your life, its not worth it getting into rants with people that will never understand how compassion and love can and will change the world we live in... so what, you don't work in an outside job, doesn't mean you don't work!!... I bet the housework is a lot more effort than any job that person has... you have reared lovely children and in turn you've got great wonderful family and super grandchildren now... Being a hippy we were lucky to have touched the edge of the universe for a while.. but its still there and in the efforts we make today, the changes will happen tomorrow. YOu lead a true life Mrs Moon, ignore the others that are so jealous of you and what you represent.. I was part of that in 1967 and I live my life as close to those beliefs as I can... deep deep breathes Mrs Moon, love does conquer all!!!!!!!xx

  12. Interesting that some people don't think loving and caretaking and writing and gardening and feeding and maintaining a house and a partnership and stewarding land are all different forms of work. Because you do your work with grace and pleasure they think it looks suspiciously easy. I hope you can smile and walk on. As someone once reminded me when I was recently in a similar state: "What other people think about you is none of your business."

  13. Mary. You can unfriend. Ditch the people who make you feel bad. You don't need 'em. Make your facebook a happy place. Keep the funny, thought provoking, kind people and kick the rest to the curb.

  14. Yay, done good. I hate facebook is meaningless.....trivial, shallow and totally disorganized and so are the people who live by it and on it.

    My trouble is that I cannot cure myself of hating the haters.......sigh.

  15. I am for peace and love too and I have been called ignorant. And whoever said you are not entitled to your opinion because you do not work should have to clean up chicken shit and probably believes that women can prevent unwanted pregnancy when raped. Not so Sweet Jo

  16. Blue Gal- Well, you know, I think a lot of people are just very angry. I understand that. But yeah, FB sure gives people permission to put up anything they want. As does, I must admit, a blog.

    Bugerlug- Sometimes there's some good stuff there too!

    SJ- I know. That did sting, my not-working. Because it's true! But my household certainly pays taxes. And you know what? Mr. Moon never complains about that. He just does it.
    As to the mother thing? You are exactly right. The only kids I'm "expert" at mothering are the ones I've raised and truly, I ain't no expert at that either.

    Lusjanochka- Hello and I'm glad you're here! Thanks for coming by and for giving a thoughtful comment. I don't know how courageous I am when I do these things- probably just crazy.

    Mama D- You are so right about that!

    Lucy- This is a very, very well-educated woman who works in health care so she has perspective that I don't. I have to admit that.

    Elizabeth- You are right! It'll be so nice when it's all over. I hope. If, you know, Mitt doesn't win. I can't even say that without wanting to vomit.

    Liv- You know, those experiences we had were true and profound and I will never not believe that.

    Ms. Fleur- Good advice!

    Michelle- You're right, baby. You are right.

    Lisa- I love being adored by you.

    Janzi- Yep. Some of us have to try. We really do.

    Andrea- That is one of my favorite sayings! Thanks for reminding me.

    Jo- The thing for me is that I am never quite aware that people whom I think I know are, well, right-leaning until I start reading their posts and then it's like, "WHOA!"

    Lo- Honey, none of us are Christ. I'm not even vaguely Christ-like. I struggle with that too.

    Sweet Jo- Nah. This woman is, as I said, extremely well-educated and works in the health care field. And she has worked very hard. She is entitled to her opinion, even if I don't agree with it.

  17. I "hide" the posts of "friends" who continue to put up comments / photos/ news garbage that offends. It works for me and then I look at the posts only of those who make me happy.... They have no idea and I control my facebook content quite easily.

    I believe in peace and love!

  18. Ellen- Oh, I do the same but mostly with this one woman who MY GOD! posts and links every damn thing that happens in the world which proves her liberal props and I'm not saying she doesn't deserve them, I'm just saying, "Fuck! I can read the news too!"

  19. And this is why I love you. The imaginary circles do not contain you.

  20. Face book sounds like a platform for the right wing nuts. I don't want it. I don't know what has happened to those who did practice peace, love and rock and roll. I guess they traded in their blue jeans and guitars for Armani suits and golf clubs. Sigh...

  21. I usually stay away from politics on Facebook for just that reason. It just causes pain. Remember in the old days when people tried not to discuss politics or religion, recognizing that these were impolite, divisive, personal issues? Well, I don't always hew to that, God knows, and I have plenty of divisive personal opinions of my own -- but I think they were on to something.

    On the other hand, I'm so glad you express your opinions so forcefully. Of course, that's because I agree with them!

    As for that lost Normal Rockwell America, it IS true that the white upper classes enjoyed a prosperity and security in the mid-century that has now faded. But that's because they were enjoying it on the backs of all the people of lower socio-economic levels (and other races and ethnicities) who were enabling the system that fed them their wealth. And they didn't even know it. I can see why they miss it, but heck, it was an unjust, exploitative system. (And still is, and growing more so, but at least there's more consciousness now -- which, of course, is what the white upper classes hate, that awareness of "the other.")

    Jeez, you fired me up here.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.