Monday, August 6, 2012

Newsworthy? Probably Not. But Amusing

I swear. We live in a crazy world.
I sometimes just don't even want to know what's going on. And some people do just absolutely cut themselves off from the news entirely. I can't, though. I really can't do it.
I mean, I'd miss stuff like the video of a guy trying to protest General Mills for supporting gay marriage rights. I'd love to embed it but it's not embeddable. Here's the link though:

It's real short, y'all. And real funny in a sick sort of way.
And involves a guy in a pink shirt saying the word "homosexual" like "HOMO-sechuls." And then attempting to light a Cheerios box on fire but having, uh, a problem, and doesn't ever even end up burning the box.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't make fun of the obviously uh, challenged.

A local writer wrote a column in the Tallahassee Democrat's religion section the other day about Mormon missionaries. She stated (with a complete lack of irony) that some are calling this The Year Of The Mormon due to Mitt Romney and also, that  play, The Book Of Mormon, which is a hit musical on Broadway right now about two Mormon missionaries!

I sort of have to wonder if she has any idea that the play isn't exactly supportive of the Mormon religion. Here's a clue: The creators of South Park wrote the dang thing.
People should do their research.

That's why I can't be a journalist. I'd have to do research. I don't like doing research. I'd rather just make shit up. "Sounds reasonable to me!" I would say, and then write the article.
I had to do a research paper in nursing school. It was on studies proving that children learn to speak by listening to people speaking.
Seriously? You have to do a study to figure that out?
How in hell else WOULD a kid learn to speak? Spontaneous languafication? Reading? 
Don't get me wrong. I respect research. Some of it. If it's not done by religious wing-nuts who believe that their god created the universe in seven days. Or maybe it was just the earth which, at the time Genesis was written, pretty much WAS the entire universe except for those stars out there.

Speaking of wing-nuts and Mitt Romney, what in hell is going on with Ted Nugent? I think maybe he has a brain tumor. Here's what he said recently:

"But on important issues, I am saddened to admit that Obama represents everything bad about humanity and Romney pretty much all that is good. It is really that stark."

What a dipshit. Stick to killin' and grillin', TED! and stay the fuck out of politics.

But not everything in the media is amusing and we all know that. 
Gunmen slaying innocent people, whether in a movie theater or a Sikh Temple. 
Yeah, but you know- guns don't kill people. People kill people.
Sick people with GUNS. 


Back to Romney- would he shut up already about calling Harry Reid a liar for saying he didn't pay any taxes for ten years and just release the tax returns and resolve the issue once and for all? And Reid didn't even say that Romney didn't pay those taxes. He's just saying that someone in a position to know told HIM that. 

Well, whatever. 

I was listening to NPR today and they're doing a series that I think they call "First And Main" and they go out to towns and find that place in it- First and Main- and interview people about the upcoming election and the issues which are important to them. They were down in Tampa today and were interviewing a guy who is from Massachusetts and he was saying that his friends who still live there really do like Romneycare and how it's good that people have gotten off their asses and gotten health insurance DUE TO THE MANDATE BUT he doesn't think that a Federal Mandate should be enforced and he will not be voting for Obama because of that. 

Oh sure. That makes sense.

All right. Here's one more crazy media-related thing:
I was perusing the online New York Times Sunday edition yesterday and saw an article about a house in Winter Haven, Florida. Hey! I'm from Winter Haven! So I read the article and damn. It's about a guy I know. Not real well but he's eaten dinner at my house before. The link is HERE if you have any interest at all. 
Small world.

Somehow my New Yorker Magazine subscription has run out and how that happened is a freaking mystery to me. They send you like fourteen thousand reminders. And yet, it has and I am jonesin' so bad but the online subscription rate is fairly high and I want a better deal. I don't even have a copy laying around to rip the subscription renewal card out of and that, too, is another mystery although I think it's probably due to the fact that I've been getting rid of shit. The last copy I know I had was used to smash the guts out of a giant Cockroachasaurus Rex in my bathroom and the resulting mess was so nasty that I immediately threw it into the trash. The magazine. The roach went into the toilet. And then I scrubbed the counter top with bleach. 
Those damn rip-out subscription cards are usually all over this house because I use them as bookmarks but just like everything else in life, just when you need something, you realize you've gotten rid of it. 

Anyway, if you haven't done so already, go watch that video of the guy trying to show General Mills who's boss. 
Poor guy. He should have done his research on how to light a cereal box on fire.
I probably would have ended up doing the same thing he did. I admit it. I'm a raging jerk too. 

Believe me.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Spontaneous languafication! I think that's the name of my next zine.

  2. DTG- For some reason, I KNEW you'd like that. I really did. I wrote it and then thought, "Man, Hank is going to like this." I'm glad I was right.

  3. God, you made me laugh, I don't what was funnier, the spontaneous languafication thing or the dumbfuck on youtube....

    You are so good!

  4. Have you heard of the FB group called Teabonics? It's awesome. I think this post should be posted on it --

  5. You are really funny! Laughed out loud over this post. And Ted Nugent--WTF does he know?

  6. Funny and disturbingly weird stuff.

    I tried to burn the box I used to keep my divorce documents in after they got too numerous to fit, and I had to get a bigger box. It, too, was a symbolic burn. But I couldn't get the box to ignite. Maybe I should have filled it with Cheerios as tinder.

  7. OK, it really IS a small world. I had no idea you were from Winter Haven. I started my career as a reporter at The Ledger -- working in the Winter Haven bureau. I've met the Strangs. How crazy is that?! I worked there for a few years at the end of the 1980s.

    I didn't know the Strangs sold their family home, the one designed by Gene Leedy. Gene did some great houses.

    That General Mills video is just pathetic. That guy is so inept I wonder if it's a deliberate spoof.

  8. Liv- Glad I made you laugh. Sometimes that's all we can do.

    Elizabeth- Good FB page. I checked it out.

    Syd- I don't know what he knows but the NRA loves him.

    Denise- Next time...

    Steve- Really? That's just too crazy. So you know Winter Haven. And, I'm sure, you know why I DO NOT GO BACK! Okay, that's not really fair. There are some good people there. I wonder if we know other people in common.
    You may be right about that video being a spoof. It is just too ridiculous.


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