You know what? It has been a better day. And I did spend time with my beebies. And it did even rain.
I did not walk. I am letting this nerve or whatever it is rest and as the day has progressed, it has begun to feel better. I guess maybe I'm not dying. I'm one of those hypochondriacs who really doesn't talk out loud (very much) about my possible terminal illnesses although I constantly have two or three, at least, going on in my mind. I don't talk about them because that would make them real and also, someone might suggest that I do something insane like GO TO A DOCTOR and forget that shit.
I'm one of those people who will probably die because I have a heart attack and will refuse to let anyone call an ambulance. Hell, I won't even tell anyone I'm having chest pain. I'll just pop an aspirin and go lie down. And you know what? If that's the way I die, it'll be JUST FINE! I was talking to my ex-husband's wife (aka, my children's other-mother) the other night about dying and we agreed that we want to die in the middle of a sentence saying something like, "And let me tell you one more thing..."
Screw this long-term illness shit and getting to say good-bye to everyone. Good-byes are highly overrated in my book. I tell everyone I love good-bye with a hug and a kiss every time we part. If that's not good enough, well too bad.
As if we get a choice.
Anyway, Lily and I went to the Latch-On today. Or whatever it was called. It was awesome. I missed "the moment" because Owen didn't want to hang with all the nursing babies and toddlers but wanted to go into the kids' area of the library so I took him. I think Lily was a little worried that Gibson wouldn't want to actually nurse when the moment came but I hear that he cooperated like a champ. There were a lot of ladies there and a lot of babies and a lot of toddlers. Made my old hippie-heart happy.
It was fun hanging with Owen, too. There's a little platform thing that the kids can climb and I observed Owen trying to get close to a little girl who was reading up there. She was probably about seven, WAY too old for him but he gave it a valiant effort.
"You want hold my hand?" he asked her.
"No," she said in an airy tone of voice, her nose buried in her book.
"I give you kiss?" he asked.
"No," she said.
"I give you hug?"
"No," she said again and that was the extent of his bag of tricks but he took it like a man.
He did make friends with another girl whose name was Marie. Marie was five and quite a hoot. She informed me that her sister, who is eleven, is a very good singer. She let Owen hold her hand.
When we left the library, Owen said he wanted to come to my house and so he did. We had to go to the store first and Lily bought him a treat while we were there- a strawberry milk. You know, like chocolate milk, but strawberry flavored? On the way to my house, Owen learned a very important lesson which is that if you suck down approximately half a quart of that stuff in approximately one minute, you will get a terrible belly ache.
Which he did.
"Aaaaggghhh!" he said from the back seat. "My belly hurt!!!"
"Did you drink all that milk already?" I asked him.
"Uh-huh," he said. He was gripping his midsection and panting like a dog.
"And what did you do with your gum? Did you swallow it?"
"Uh-huh!" he wailed.
"Well," I said, "If you need to throw up, just do it and I'll clean you up when we get home. You really shouldn't have swallowed that gum and then drunk all that milk so fast, baby. I'm sorry your belly hurts but that's what happens."
I tried to demonstrate how to breathe slowly in through his nose and out through his mouth to get through the pain but he wasn't interested. He continued to pant and moan. And then he burped.
"Did that help?" I asked.
"Uh-huh!" he said. And he was fine.
And we had a very good time at my house. We played with the chimp who hugs and hoots and we played with Big Bear ("I miss you Big Bear!" he told him) and he put make-up on both the chimp and the bear and also himself and on me. We washed the dogs and were stunned at the number of fleas we saw. He had lunch with his Boppy and we went and checked out Mr. Peep and his new girlfriend and we collected eggs and we played hiding games and we kissed Boppy good-bye when he left to go to Bradenton to see his sister.
"I will miss you, Boppy," he said. "You come home soon?"
"I will, Buddy," Boppy said. "I'll miss you too."
I love it that Owen knows what missing someone or something is these days. I love it when I walk in the door to his house and he throws himself at me and says, "Mer-Mer! I miss you!"
Jesus. Could he be any sweeter?
He also told me today that Gibson is going to hold his hand and walk soon. I am quite frankly stunned at what a loving brother Owen has turned out to be but I give Lily and Jason all the credit for making that happen.
Speaking of Gibson, here are two pictures of him in his car seat. I should have an entire gallery-showing of Gibson-in-his-car-seat portraits. It's just that I sit back there between the two boys when I'm going somewhere with them and Gibson keeps grinning at me. I can't help it. I have to take his picture!
That child is teething with a ferocity the likes of which I have never seen in my life. He got those first two bottom teeth and now all he wants to do is gnaw like a beast on anything he can get his mouth on. He went through a small phase of wanting to gnaw on his mother's ninnie but he seems to be over that. We all have bruised and shredded knuckles. I told Lily that all of these teething toys and frozen breast-milk cubes are fine and dandy but that what he really needs is a pork chop bone to teeth on.
She was a bit taken aback because of course she's doing what she's supposed to do which is to introduce one food at a time and wait a week until she introduces another and so the idea of just giving the child a bone to chew on is a bit out of her comfort zone. But think about it- wouldn't that be the most natural thing a child could chew on?
If you're a vegetarian, please forgive me but this boy is way past the chewing-on-a-carrot phase if you ask me. I am telling you- he would gnaw the paw off the cat if he could get it in his mouth.
Have you seen this video?
If you haven't, you should. What IS it about an English accent? Anyway, that could be Owen and Gibson except that Owen would never stick his finger in Gibson's mouth. He knows better.
So it's Friday night and I'm all alone although Lis is going to come and spend the night with me after her gig at the Mockingbird. Why aren't I there? Well, because I'm lame and also because I went out twice last weekend and because I can't sit for that long. But I'll get to see her tonight and tomorrow morning and that will be a lovely treat.
It HAS been a better day and I'm mighty glad of it. I don't feel as if I am dying anymore although I AM feeling extremely itchy everywhere from my chronic allergic reaction to something I'm doing or eating and I'd just take a Benadryl but if I do that, I'll fall asleep and I really want to try and be awake when Lizzie gets here.
Here's two more pictures:
I just saw this banty rooster (whom I THINK is Topsy) doing the hey-baby-ya-wanna-fuck? dance next to Curly Sue who is twice his size. She politely refused him.
And the book I started reading last night.
I thought I'd read all of her books but it turns out that I have not. I got that in Mobile when Mr. Moon and I were there back in...hell- when WAS that? A few months back.
There never was and never will be a writer like MFK Fisher and she's as soothing and sensible and entertaining as my chickens and I am grateful for many, many things and one of them is her.
The only regret I have about today is that I didn't go to Chick-fil-A and kiss a girl. I would have happily and lovingly kissed all of you, even those of you who are not girls and I'm not just saying that to make a social comment.
I mean it.