Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Are Grandmothers Supposed To Be Like This?

Man, I am never going to trust those damn computer models in hurricane forecasting again. I swear to you that a few days ago every damn one of them (and there must be fifty) showed Isaac coming right through the panhandle. And now look- the storm is heading towards New Orleans and although they (you know- THEY) say that we're going to get some big ol' storm surges of salt and fresh water down at the coast, it sure looks pretty clear here today.

I am also never going to trust my gut again which is obviously as apt to err as computer models.

But we cannot say I am disappointed. Oh no. We certainly cannot.

Last night's rum did not kill me and I had a lovely dream about Keith Richards and I took an excellent walk this morning although it is back to being hot and humid as hell's own swamp. I have showered and changed and am starting to cool down and the gator hunters are packed up and have gone to the grocery store and by god, they're going down to the creek, the good lord willin' and even if the creek DOES rise. God bless 'em.

Here's a picture of my banty rooster, Fancy.

He and his wife, Baby, crack me up. They are miniature chickens for sure and are hanging with the flock these days. Elvis doesn't seem to care a bit although I'm not sure he views them as part of his responsibility. He tolerates them, I suppose. And when it comes time to go to bed, Fancy and Baby fly up into the trees and sleep there while the other chickens go into the hen house to roost, as domestic birds should, in my opinion. If Baby is laying eggs, I don't know where. Seems like she should be by now. Sometimes Fancy flies up and perches on the fence and crows in his little-rooster voice and and I could die of the cuteness. He thinks he's a full-sized rooster and so far, no one has dissuaded him from this opinion and I doubt they ever will.

Okay. I would talk about politics some more but my bile is already risen to a point dangerously close to boiling over. Let me just say that I am flabbergasted at the ignorance of a lot of people. Let me just say that we live in a nation of FUCKING MORONS!
Can you say moron these days? I hope so. If not, they let me say we live in a nation of FUCKING IDIOTS!

Here's another thing I'll say: Every time my dog Buster scratches at the door to be let out or in (this is the door to the porch and NO, I cannot cut a dog door into it) which happens about every three minutes, I think of Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) from Deadwood cutting someone's throat with his knife of death and I, well, okay, I admit it, I feel a little Al-ish.

And having said all of that, I am now about to become Mer-Mer, the sweet, sweet grandmother who is going to town to go to Target with her daughter and beloved grandsons because Owen pooped in the potty and that means he gets a toy!!!!

Let me reassure you that I do not have a knife of death.

Yours truly...Ms. Moon


  1. I've had to turn off the politics. for a while anyway. everytime I think those fucking morons can't get any worse, they make a liar out of me. and yes. PAS. People Are Stupid. that's the guiding principle in my brother's life. I've decided to adopt it.

  2. I'm one of those who have begun months ago to ignore the political onslaught. I seem to just become numb, change the channel if I am watching TV (most times we record ONLY what want to watch and never live), listen to music instead of talk radio and am blissfully happier till after the election.

    Enjoy the day with the Grandkids and congrats to little / Big Owen!

  3. The way I cope, eventually, with People Who Are Stupid, and the fucking morons, is to imagine myself rolling around on the floor cracking up.

    Hysterical, helpless laughter. Guffawing. A little marching around a room, Fellini style with big band music. Retreating the hills with a book of poetry.


  4. The Obama folks called me yesterday. I told them, "Hey, you know I'm right next door to you?" They seemed surprised to know that their headquarters are right next to an apartment complex, but, as you know, we prefer to blend in with the local businesses so that is no surprise. Anyway, point being that they have yard signs for $15. Want me to get you one?

  5. This is pretty much how I have been feeling for the past week. Ahem. Only using vegetable knives when necessary.

    Won't even bore anyone w/my political despair.

    BUT!!! Reading your blog, & comments, muchly brightened my morning! Yeah!

    PS: It gets increasingly annoying to prove that I am not a robot on the comments-sections of my favorite blogs. Maybe something has happened. Maybe I am a robot, and have yet to catch on.

  6. A knife of death?? I've missed something.

  7. Ellen Abbott- I am afraid that your brother is right about this. At least a lot of people are stupid.

    Ellen- For some reason I just can't ignore it. It's not in my genetic make-up.

    Elizabeth- Well, sounds like as good a way to cope as any.

    DTG- YES!

    Laura- At least you know that some of your people are out here. And I agree- the captchas are getting simply ridiculous.
    Maybe we're all robots.

    Ms. Fleur- Like Al Swearengen's!

  8. I wish I was a small chicken who didn't know any better and assumed she was a big chicken. My confidence would sky rocket.

  9. Rachel- Well, I am not sure that the little hen doesn't know she's little. But the rooster- well, he's a rooster. He thinks he's something special. So I go along with it. But it is all mostly in our own minds, isn't it?

  10. The smart live along the stupid... Luckily enough Ms Moon you belong to the first category. Hope you find a nice toy for Owen. He is going forward in life. Step by step. Love reading about him.

  11. The political insanity of small-minded, shriveled old men (and the unthinkably deranged women who actually support them) is like a train wreck blocking the way to the airport while I am trying to make the flight to the vacation of my dreams. It is frustrating, infuriating, horrifying, yet oddly something from which I cannot seem to look away.

    You are a fabulous Grandmother, not simply because you love your grandbabies so much and so well, but even more importantly, because you have given their mother (and also their father) the kind of life that makes it easy for her to raise happy, well-adjusted, well-loved, well-cared-for and secure babies without having to overcome any challenges (family drama, emotional and psychological scars, and so much more) above and beyond the obstacles that the world already puts in front of all of us (such as shamefully inadequate maternity leave).

  12. Hell yes grandmas are supposed to be like this! If we all sat around with lap blankets and knitting nothing would get done.

    ...Then again, if EVERYONE sat around with lap blankets and knitting, there would be no war or homocide.

    One can dream.

  13. Photocat- Anyone who doesn't enjoy reading about my grandchildren is in the wrong place here!

    White Coat Dreamer- I hope you are right. Thank you for those beautiful words. They make me feel as if my life does really have some meaning and purpose.

  14. I want to post about something someone wrote to me about small businesses and wages and illegal immigrants. I will share it with you because it points out how moronic things are and yes, how ignorant people are.

    The email started with a false piece of information that the President did not go to Columbia Univ. So I wrote that she needed to check facts at Snopes or Fact Check because the claim was false. The President would not have gotten into Harvard Law without graduating from Columbia.

    She volleyed one back and then I wrote:
    I heard a weird one that Mitt Romney transferred millions to offshore accounts (I'm sure for totally understandable and honest reasons), wouldn't release past tax returns (I know..everyone is just picking on him..I'm sure they're fine), belonged to a cult that believes God is a man that lives on the planet Kolob (whoa..well..I'm sure that's just some "chicago-style" muckraking), and his great grandfather started a polygamy colony in Mexico after it was declared illegal in US and even Mitt's father was born in Mexico in a Mormon colony. (what? holy crap..uhhh...) ;-) Truth will always be stranger than fiction I guess. It's gonna take a lot of sauce to cover those up, for sure. What's next? "Obama read Communist Manifesto in high school and said Karl Marx seemed very intelligent"

    And then this reply from her: The reason I posted this was because of Harry Reid saying Romney paid no taxes. Both sides are coming out with lies about the other. However, I believe Obama is taking us straight down the road to socialism...take from the rich and give to the poor and increase government along the way. He is "splitting hairs" with laws to make "executive decisions"...the latest with the illegal immigrant amnesty for those from 16 to 30. Romney is a business owner. I have always said that is who we need for President, not a lawyer. Lawyers have helped get us in this mess with their greed...more lawsuits, more money for them and inflation of all costs for the rest of us. Also, more laws, ie government control, the more lawsuits. Small business is the backbone of this country. Big labor is not. They are the tail wagging the dog. Do you want your employees telling you how much they get paid and what benefits they demand? If we continue down his path, we will be Greece in a few years. Heaven help us then.

    So I wrote:
    I would say that it would be great if all small businesses hired legal workers for at least minimum wage. The hiring of illegal immigrants and outsourcing of work overseas is a huge undermining of the economy, disenfranchising Americans and exploiting others who are desperate.

    More below


  15. And then this in reply for which I have no words:
    I agree wholeheartedly in bringing our jobs back to America. I am starting to search out "Made in America" whenever I can find a product that is, compared to overseas. Of course, one reason they left was to keep prices down for the consumer. Now that the unions are losing some of their power, they can come back and still price products at a reasonable price. The illegals that have come here have filled positions that Americans don't want, on the whole, especially the ones, as in my industry, that are so labor intensive. We have hired immigrants, all with proper papers, as it got to where we would have to hire five people, all Americans, and hope one would come in to work. Very often, we had to rerun our ad and try again as none of them would show up. When we started in this business, we would have 30-40 people apply for one position, and if he hired 2 or 3, they all came to work. And it is a HUGELY incorrect that they lower wages. They have raised them in our industry. We have not paid minimum wage in over 15 years. I will agree that they are exploited in some ways. I have often heard that when they buy something or cash checks, people often short change them without their knowing it. But, if they would learn our language, that could be prevented. One last observation. In this economy with such high unemployment, it has amazed me that we have had fewer people call or come by looking for work than we did before the recession. When people get unemployment extended over and over, what is the incentive to work? A new welfare class is forming.

    Who is they? Is that like "you people"? This makes me think that I am dealing with aliens and probably robots too.

  16. Canadian politician are fucking morons too. We even have a woman that is leading the province and she is the biggest fucking moron of them all. God help us all.

  17. See Kate Run- And throw in a few oatmeal cookies...

    Syd- This is earthshakingly unbelievable. It's like the woman I was corresponding with about the illegal aliens who are sucking up all the money in this country by getting free health care. People don't even stop to think. They are angry and they don't give a shit about the facts. Honestly? I believe that a whole big bunch of them are freaking racists. This makes me sick. I can't even believe that person said all of that. It's like she proved your point. And still- she hates.

    Birdie- Maybe it's just the nature of the beast. I mean, uh, the politician.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.