Thursday, August 16, 2012

I Can't Possibly Title This

I ate that pork chop last night AND half a sweet potato AND some green beans and they were good. Especially the pork chop.
God, I love the pig. I feel bad about the way they raise pigs on factory farms. I do. I wish we raised our own pigs. Humanely and so forth.
Not enough to do it, though.
My first husband and I raised a pig once. It was a terrible experience. She got huge. I mean, as big as a hippopotamus and she'd get out of her pen and come stand by the steps of our little trailer and terrorize my children. I was afraid she'd knock the trailer off its blocks, rubbing her itchy back on it. We called her Pigosaurus. When it finally came time to take the nasty critter to the killing shed, we couldn't get her onto the back of the truck. Every time we'd throw a rope around her head, she'd fall over squealing in what sounded like death throes. What did we know? We were hippies. We'd traded a car for a truck and a pig. We couldn't get the pig on the truck. It became an amusement to try and get that pig on that truck. Every time a guy or guys came over they'd go out and try to get the pig on the truck. Finally a group of guys girded their pig-rasstlin' loins and hauled that pig up the ramp successfully. She was driven away and came back wrapped in white paper in the form of hams and chops and so forth. I didn't feel bad at all about eating her. She'd been a torment to me and insisted on wallowing in her poop, even though her pen was plenty big enough to avoid it and she'd poop in her water for no reason that I could see although maybe she had a reason- I don't know much about swine behavior and never have.
I had grown up on a book called Clarence The Clean Pig and it was not highly informative as to real pigs and the foulness and hugeness of their poops.

Anyway, that's why I don't raise pigs.

And knowing all that I do know about pigs, I shouldn't even want to eat them but I can't help it. I do. I can't and won't buy a ham to bake because I would eat it all to the bone, every scrap and morsel, all by myself, a ham as big as a Volkswagen, I would eat it, and then I would cook the bone with beans and eat them. Oh yes, I would. As it is, I don't use any pork in my beans or greens as good old lady Southern cooks are supposed to do. I have learned to enjoy them cooked without any pig at all but I tell you what- when I do eat beans or greens which have been cooked with bacon or with ham or with smoked hocks, I moan in pleasure, I swoon in ecstasy.
I realize I have been fooling myself about not missing the pig in the vegetable.
But. What is one going to do?
I hear that lard is making a comeback and if we still spent our days tilling the fields and milking the cows and busting rocks it would be fine to eat lard but we don't and it isn't.
Ah. We are so dainty now with our work-outs and our olive oil.

We're all going to die anyway.

Lily and Jason and the boys are already in Jacksonville. Lily has been sending me pictures.
Here are two of Gibson:

He is just starting to eat puffs which are a baby-version of a cereal and I think he looks like a baby bird, opening his mouth to get one. He kisses that way, too. When he wants kisses, he opens that bird mouth just that wide and thrusts his face towards the face he wants to kiss. He is a joy, that boy and I could kiss him all day long.

Here's Owen, already hot and sweaty, studying the map with his Aunt Kelly, Lily's best friend.

I know he's my grandson but isn't he beautiful? Isn't he just purely beautiful?

Well, I need to get busy. I am going to go take my mother to the eye doctor today. They took her yesterday for an injection for her macular degeneration and although these treatments have saved her vision, they are becoming increasingly apt to give her side-effects and I hear that this morning her eye is swollen shut and very painful and needs attention. This will be my mission today.

But first, two more things.

That guy who set the grass on fire accidentally while trying to stage a protest at General Mills because he didn't like their pro-gay stance? He died! Oh my god. Not in a fire.
Article here. 
I guess that whole thing wasn't a fake. And I would not wish his death. He was foolish and inept but at least he just set some grass on fire. He didn't take a gun and shoot anyone.

And finally, this:

Go here to read the article.

As I told Mr. Moon last night when I saw the pictures from the article, Bill Clinton's face always showed exactly what he was feeling. And it obviously still does. There is something so human about that man. He feels joy and as cliched as it sounds by now, he did indeed feel your pain.

How rare and marvelous in a politician!

Good morning.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I love pork chops. With gravy. And bacon. BACON! Nothing in this world in more tasty than bacon.

    So, the cereal-lighting guy died. Huh. There is just the teeniest smile on my face.

    And, your grandsons are as beautiful as ever.

  2. This post made me happy, between the photos of your wonderful grand-boys and this:

    We are so dainty now with our work-outs and our olive oil.

    We're all going to die anyway.


  3. Those grandsons are absolutely kissalicious. Love that baby bird mouth, and Owen's sweaty haired angel face.

    I grew up on a pig farm, and uh, I will never be a pig farmer. My dad was a kind and humane farmer and the pigs always had plenty of barnyard to roam in, it's just the poop and the stench and the stubborn, huge pigs. But I do like bacon and ham.

  4. I like my olive oil and my bacon and my workout is a hulahoop.

    Ohhhh, those boys. So beautiful.

    Good luck with your Mum today.

  5. What Steph(anie) and everyone else said. I'd trade my olive oil for lard if I could...

  6. I agree with everything you said about pork. I know nothing about pigs, although The Husband raised them in Switzerland. I think pigs in Switzerland are cleaner than those in America --

    That guy who set the grass on fire with a box of Honey Nut Cheerios is wack-a-doodle, and certainly the man who arrived loaded down with guns at the conservative headquarters of Focus on the Family even more so. How fortunate we are to have the blogosphere to restrict our rants, no?

    And Clinton? Oh, my. I do love that man, always have.

  7. Oh this made me laugh so hard over the pig..As, my first husband and I (hippies) raised a piglet "under our house in a crawlspace" ...when it came time to get the pig out of said "crawlspace" the pig was as you said "so BIG" it took 4 guys to get it out and off to butcher.. love the bacon, ham, pork chops!!! thanks for the laugh..that was a jaunt down memory lane..and made me also think of the goat (lawn maintenance) we had tied in front

  8. The pic of Bill with Bill--Clinton, the fatherless man (and Obama raised by his mom) touched me today.

    Gibson and Owen are MINE. Thanks for sharing them with us.

    XXXXX Beth

  9. I always liked the Little House in the Big Woods scene of the little girls playing ball with the inflated pig's bladder. No mention was ever made of poop. Clinton has said he regrets his administration's repeal of Glass-Steagall---if he ever ran again I'd vote for him in a NY minute. The first plant-based president.

  10. Your grandsons ARE beautiful!

    And Clinton, oh my god, how could I forget Clinton? That's THREE candidates I've voted for who actually won. Thanks for the reminder ~ I love Bill Clinton!

  11. Pigshit is eye-wateringly foul. I had to ride in a van with a pig once and the thing just stood there in the back and pooped. I wanted to shout "Shit fresh biscuits, pig!" but I figured the animal was not having a good time, and having some guy scream at it from the front seat would not improve the experience.

  12. some black folks say that bill clinton was our first black president because they feel he was the first president who truly knew their hearts. i think bill clinton feels the world extravagantly and deeply and true. i love that in a human.

  13. When I got to the part about you thinking about why you liked pig, I cracked up cause the way you described that pig and his shit, I don't think I'll ever eat it again -- not that I eat it much at all now -- but bacon is tasty... And Stephanie wins the prize for picking out the very best of your blog entry today. I too thought that was perfection. BTW, you do have really cute grandsons! Sweet Jo

  14. Birdie- Yes. Bacon on my death bed. Please. With a side of ham.

    Stephanie- You have a talent for picking out my favorite bits.

    Lora- They may be foul animals alive but they are tasty when dead, especially if smoked properly.

    Liv- I do love olive oil too. I must admit it.

    DTG- How in hell could you forget her?

    Lisa- In a perfect world, we could have both!

    Elizabeth- I believe that EVERYTHING in Switzerland is cleaner. As I remember it, anyway.
    I love YOU, quite frankly.

    Deana- Well at least we TRIED, right?

    Beth- How could that picture not touch your heart? It would take a cold person to be unmoved by it. And I am honored for Gibson and Owen to be yours as well.

    A- He's plant-based now. I hope he lives for fuckingever.

    Lulumarie- Yes! We had THREE!!!

    Palinode- Welcome! I am glad you are visiting. Please feel free to come back at any time. You were a nice man not to yell at the poor pig.

    Angella- Was it Toni Morrison who said that? I completely understand what she was saying. I think it pissed off some people but I bet that Clinton felt honored.

    S. Jo- I am glad that you think my grandsons are lovely. I am glad that you are here.

  15. "Pigosaurus!" Oh my god. I laughed so hard.

    Poor Pigosaurus.

    As for Bill Clinton, he was a good president, endlessly and needlessly tormented by vicious partisan bullshit. I'm not saying he didn't do stupid things, but at least he didn't drag us into prolonged unnecessary wars. I love that photo.

  16. I do love Clinton. And I like pigs but would not have one. I simply could not kill an animal. I am glad that others can. And if I were starving, I could. But it would hurt something in me no matter the reason.


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