Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Hot And Bothered

I'm having a day. I mean, it's fine. It's lovely. I'm alive. Etc.

The chicken waterer and scratch purchase took about 87 seconds. That wasn't so hard.

I'd show you a picture of the new waterer but come on, people. This is already the most boring blog in the known universe. Well, that's not true. I know one other one that's right up there. No. I will certainly not tell you which one and it's NOT YOURS!

I just feel boring and stupid and it's so goddam hot and I have to get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow to go to my orthopedist appointment at 8:30. Why did I think that was a good idea? And he's probably going to take x-rays and look at them and say, "Yep, that's severely messed up. Nope. Nothing we can do about it. That'll be three thousand dollars."

Seriously, whatever it costs I'm pretty sure I could live for a month in Mexico for that amount. Which is an option I am considering more and more lately.
Goddam it! Why didn't I take Spanish in college? Two years in high school and all I can do is ask where the bathroom is and say, "I'm hungry," and, well...that's about it.

I'm sort of pissed off at Maurice. I ask that cat to do one damn thing- sleep with me. It's so comforting. Especially when Mr. Moon is away. I give her food and treats and open the door for her when she wants in or out. I don't yell at her when she brings me lizards with no legs and no tails, i.e, a head on a stump. I got her spayed. I got her shots. I try to give her flea treatment. And how does she reward me? By making it painfully obviously last night that she would rather sleep BY HERSELF than with me.
Damn cat. Thinking she's all superior and shit just because she's a cat and has fur and shit.
She finally crawled into bed around five this morning and I was worried about her half the night.

Let's see. What else can I bitch about? Not Angelina Jolie's wedding dress and veil, I'll tell you that. She had the veil stitched with designs her kids had drawn and if that's not about the coolest thing ever, I don't know what is.

And go ahead and rant if you want and tell me how much you don't care about old Brad and Angie getting married- I have crushes on both of them and I am charmed. CHARMED I TELL YOU!
And yes I do realize that Ms. Jolie-Pitt is probably not the world's greatest actress. She does good stuff with her time and her money and she has a bunch of cute kids. And a cute husband now too.
May they be happy!

And here's one more thing which made me really smile today. A quote by my friend Togi from the Facebook:

"So,I came up with this new anger management exercise. If you start to get angry, just imagine Jesus giving The Incredible Hulk a really nice neck massage. Then you will became sexually aroused instead.
(or....maybe that's just me?)"

Togi loves Jesus and I am not being sarcastic. Just maybe not the Jesus that looks like this.

I could be wrong. 

Still. As an anger management technique, I think it's a good one. 

You are welcome. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I braved the big bad Walmart today for scratch and a waterer/feeder....such an exciting life. Gail

  2. Well I was disappointed when you said you weren't providing a picture of the chicken waterer. And Maurice not sleeping with you - I get how that makes you feel. It is very comforting to reach out a hand a feel that furry body (dog in my case). When mine goes for his nights with the ex (yes we share custody, don't judge!!) I miss that body in the bed.

  3. Your writing is so entertaining. This made me laugh. Sweet Jo

  4. OMG! You have an Ungrateful Bastard on your hands. But don't you just love her anyway? Actually, you have an Ungrateful Bitch because there can only be one cat that is an Ungrateful Bastard.

    My blog is pretty boring.

  5. All the best for tomorrow's appointment!!!

    I spoke to a nice person last night who moved from Florida to our river valley with his cat. This cat has spent her entire life of 5 yrs so far hunting lizards. They are both going through a rough time right now, all we have is voles and really tiny spiders.

  6. I'd missed that about the wedding dress. What a lovely idea!


  7. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... cats are assholes! They do exactly what they want, when they want, wherever they want. They look at you disdainfully, give you an inferiority complex (which, let's face it, we really don't need) and to them we are merely staff, to be tolerated solely because we provide food. And they shed, just because they can! Ms Mary... hang in there... sending you love and hugs xox

  8. My blog is boring because I never write anymore. I feel like I have no time/no voice left. Your blog is far from boring.
    I, too, am charmed by the Jolie-Pitts. I do wish she'd fill out a little more, those collarbones and bony wrists make me nervous.
    Cats just want to be who they are. I find it's just easier to give into them, give the solitude they crave and accept the love they are willing to give. It's an unhealthy emotional relationship. LOL!

  9. Tonight, Evil Seed, the Siamese cat, was hanging out on the chair while I was having dinner. There was a hunk of fish on my plate. In a nanosecond, she grabbed the fish and jumped down. My wife saw it and laughed hysterically. Cats are strange.

  10. LOL -- MINE is the most boring blog. Right? Right?!

    It bores even me sometimes.

    My cats used to insist on sleeping ON me, which is a problem in its own right.

    I completely agree about Brad and Angelina. More power to them. And to Gwyneth Paltrow, too, just because.

    The fact that the Incredible Hulk is green pretty much precludes any sexual arousal on my part. I hope that doesn't make me a racist.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.