And bed it was and magazines and tea and a peanut butter sandwich and then I heard something, was it Elvis, come through the dog door onto the porch? but no, it was Gibson, and then I heard Owen and then Lily say, "Ssshhhh. She might be sleeping," and I called to them and they came into my room, three beauties, Owen carrying flowers, Gibson a balloon and Lily had pineapple nectar and food treats ranging from a chicken pot pie to a little bar of Halvah, my favorite candy, perhaps, in the world.
Oh, their faces!
They did my heart so good and it was so sweet and I was so grateful.
They didn't stay long, just long enough for hugs (but no kisses!) and I swear, Owen is bigger and older-looking than he was yesterday, and he caught me a love-bug duo and gave it to me, "For love," he said, and I was charmed beyond belief.
After they left I slept for awhile and had the acting dream- going onstage in an hour and having no idea what my lines were and nothing was blocked and it was simply a nightmare and I couldn't even find a highlighter to mark my lines and costumes? Were there any?
I woke up from that and tried to be a little productive. I made a dough for bread of flour and oat bran and corn meal and molasses and left-over mashed potatoes and an egg and yeast and it is rising and the pinto beans I started yesterday are simmering. I washed the dishes and swept a floor and had to lay down again and now I'm up again to check the beans and rising bread and make more tea.
It is cool. I am wearing a shirt with sleeves. All day the wind has blown, or at least a good, rustley breeze, there are lilies and roses on my hallway altar and twenty-nine years ago today I was two days away from giving birth to Lillian Rose Moon, moving as slowly as I have today, full and ready and yearning to hold this baby outside of my belly and five years ago today, Lily was the same with Owen, except only one day away from holding him and it's good to be able to think on things like that today, quiet in my house as I lay on my bed and felt the energy of it all bathe and enter me with the breeze and the cool air and if you have to be sick, this is the sick to have, this is the way to be.
And I feel so loved.