Sunday, July 1, 2012

Thank God That Blogger Doesn't Auto Correct

I was so worried that I'd oversleep this morning that I set my clock for 4:45 and my phone for 4:46. I woke up at 4:44 and turned 'em both off, drank some coffee and headed to town. It reminded me of the old days when I was going to births, listening to the BBC World News on NPR, driving down the dark roads, heading towards babies.

Everything went fine until Owen woke up and, despite his last night's assurances that sure, he'd love to see Mer-Mer when he woke up, began to wail and rail that Mer-Mer needed to go HOME, he needed his MOMMY, that I was NOT going to take care of him and that I needed to leave NOW and go back to BOPPY'S HOUSE!!! NOW! 

This of course woke up Gibson who was simply delighted to see me and smiled like a crazy-man to demonstrate. I murmured (haha!) assurances to Owen that I knew it was hard to wake up and find Mommy gone but that really, I was going to take good care of him, and he finally wound down and got back in his bed and whenever I'd go in there to check on him, he'd tell me to get out but in a calmer fashion. When Gibson and I got up, Owen popped out of his room, announced that he loved me and told me he'd like to watch some TV and so we did.

He was fine and ate a lot of cheese toast and apples and was happy at the prospect of going to church with his other grandmother and told me how he likes to go there and get out all the toys and make a mess and drink lemonade and he was happy when Other Grandmother got there but when it was time to get in the car, he realized that no, he COULD NOT GO TO CHURCH but she wasn't having any of that and got him in the car and off they drove and my heart broke for the second time this morning.

Ah well. I know he was fine once they got going. Toys? Lemonade? And then swimming? Oh yeah.

And I spent a good long day, rocking Gibson and getting smiles out of him until he fell apart about an hour before his mama got back and I'm sure his teeth hurt. I texted Lily that his "reefers" were hurting him, meaning his "teefers" and we both laughed about that.
You HAVE seen the website Damn You Auto Correct, haven't you? If not, you simply must go there.
NOW DAMMIT!!!! I spent some time on it yesterday and laughed so hard that I literally cried and my stomach hurt.

Then Lily got home and I came home and started weeding and as I wrote to a friend of mine, that was nothing more than attempted suicide. Yes. It's hot here. It's hot where you are too. I know that. I can't believe that a week ago we were getting rain dumped on us and it was so cool I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

So it's been a very good day and I got to watch some incredibly awesome Bravo TV shows including some Real Housewives and I have to say that the only thing real about those women is that when they drink, which is frequently, they get REAL drunk and REAL funny and REAL stupid. I enjoyed the shit out of that, if you want to know the truth. Gotta have a junk-mind day now and then.

All right. I believe I'll end with this.

I'm laughing too hard to type anymore.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Well, you made me laugh!

    I think i'm just going to start texting what I really mean, then blaming auto correct.

    That should be a fun week!



  2. Tearful- Damn. You 'bout made me cry. It's SO good to see you. I think about you and yours all the time.
    And you know- I, too, was thinking about doing the same thing with the texts! Hell, why not?

  3. Haven't seen that site yet, but thank you and bless you, i will now!

  4. Messymimi- I hope you like it. I really do. We all need some good laughs.

  5. Mary, that is my favorite website EVAH. I knew you were cool. :)

  6. It is funny. I have a real one to add. I wrote to the gym trainer a couple of weeks ago that I needed to change the time of my appointment to work out. When he said that was fine, I texted Thanks, Doug. But it came out Thanks, Douche. Gotta watch the autocorrect for sure.

  7. That is funny Syd! Kids r so in the moment and even tho we know they don't mean harm, it still kinda hurts.

  8. So that's why my texts come out that I'm always cooking and packing up. I can't win for typing.

  9. I've got to the point where my favourite ones are where the friend goes, ahahaha, masturbate, haha, autocorrect, what did you really mean, and the original texter says, no I am really am going to masturbate now, seeya. :)

    For some reason, the first time you see them is the best. I laughed til I cried the first time too, but now I don't react so much any more. Weird.

  10. Sara- My daughter Lily steered me to it. She's way cooler than I am.

    Syd- Okay. That's made me laugh about four times already. Calling Dr. Freud!!!!

    Anonymous Jo- It didn't hurt so much as it made me feel so bad for him. I KNOW how it feels to miss your mommy.

    Magnum- I love you. You gotta proof read, Man! You can't have people thinking you're just cooking and packing up. Jesus. You have a reputation to uphold!

    Jo- I must be simple. I'm still laughing.


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