Thursday, July 26, 2012

Maybe I'm Feverish

She is home.
Since she's been working nights and has her days and nights all mixed up anyway, she got up at 1 a.m. and drove though the night and got home just before I got back from my walk.
Poor thing. Her daddy had already gone to work and her mama was somewhere unknown.
The dogs were excited.
"Where are my parents?" she asked them.
They looked at her like the deaf and dumb animals they are. They really are deaf these days and they've always been dumb. Buster took his own bandage off and his ear is swollen up again. It sort of looks like it's been puffy-quilted.

Anyway, yes, I have a cold. Did I get it at the movie theater? Who knows? Not me. But I went and walked anyway. Fuck it. I actually had a moment of small ecstasy on the trail. I had transcended pain and heat and sickness. It was awesome! Then I sort of wanted to die but for a moment there, it was good.

So get this- after defending AOL they've gone and changed up their e-mail and now I'm having trouble viewing it. Ain't that life? Ain't that just the way life works? Oh well. No big deal.

So I'm going to rest today. I took a shower and did not put on my overalls. I put on a sort of night-dress thing which I've had forever and it's linen and I wear it in Mexico after I take my evening shower and go sit on the balcony to dry my hair and write in my journal. I have been thinking about Mexico a lot lately. One year we were there for my birthday. Last year I was in Asheville with Hank and Liz and we were visiting Jessie and Vergil. Liz and I were staying in this incredibly fancy condo that belonged to a friend of hers. It had artwork and a hot tub and there was a kava bar downstairs. I'd never had kava before, not in that form, and every afternoon I'd go down there and drink a bowl of tasty-dirt tea and feel my tongue get numb and I'd be all relaxed and shit. It really wasn't great, as highs go, but it made me feel like I was getting away with something, it being legal and all. Plus, the woman who worked at the kava bar was beautiful and I may be a straight woman but I have never been immune to the glory of a beautiful woman. I wonder how she's doing.

Well, that was then, this is now. It's almost my birthday and I have a cold and my baby girl is home and the mosquitoes aren't quite as bad and I have four children and two grandchildren and a husband I love and I remember I turned eighteen in Paris, France, and it's been a real good life. I've been the luckiest woman on earth.

I still am. Even with the dogs and the mosquitoes and the chigger bites and the cold and the heat. Sometimes there is ecstasy and even when there is not, there is just plain old goodness. You know what I think? I think that's a miracle. I think when life works out even half decently, it's a miracle. I think that when you find love and are surrounded by love and are able to give and receive love freely, that's a miracle and I think that noticing and being grateful for those miracles is a holy ritual and it's my job to practice it.
I don't need a church, I don't need a magical god up in the heavens listening to my prayers, I don't need images of poor old Jesus on my grilled cheese sandwich. I don't need a priest or a preacher or a pastor or a rulebook. 

I've got all of this and my baby girl made it home safely and today I am quite aware of the miracle of all of it.


Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I am just do happy for you! S Jo

  2. The miracle of it, yes. Enjoy your beautiful gifted girl. All your beautiful, gifted children and grandchildren. sometimes the fog clears and we can see the ways in which it is a very rich life indeed. Love to you, dear mary. i am doing the same thing as you, today, just being with my girl. nothing better.

  3. Jessie has arrived!! Thank you, Mary Moon, for being born and bringing that beautiful child into the world, along with your other amazing chirren.

  4. Rest and feel better, Ms. Mary Moon.

    And a big welcome home to the wondrous Jessie!

  5. I think I must find the will to get my very tired ass walking daily like you are. Happy almost-birthday and what a pretty picture of pretty Hessie!

  6. She's home and all's right with the world.

    XX Beth

  7. How marvellous to have children that love you and you love them.. thank you for sharing, she is one lucky girl and you are one lucky mother.. fabulousyyyyy- great to read as always..

  8. "Poor ole Jesus in my grilled cheese!" You're killin me!

    Yay mean aunt Jessie's back! We're going to see the C Ladies and have a happy birthday toast to you on Sat. Should be a real good time. I hope you're not too sick... yikes!

  9. Glad you have your miracles. I love hearing about your family.

  10. Sorry about all my typos in my comments lately - either I am moving too fast or my eyes are going! I hope you are enjoying your day and resting too.

  11. So glad that Jessie made it home and that you relaxed in your linen dress. We lazed around all day here. Too hot to do much else.

  12. Yay for Jessie being home, boo for your cold!

  13. o glory. I'm so glad.

    I want to drink kava with you one day Mary. You wont' be surprised to know that I have a pound of it in my cupboard, waiting for a friend to show me the ways of it, though I've tried it I never got too far on my own.

    Mexico eh?

  14. Feel better before your birthday!

  15. Good to hear Ms. Moon and I am glad all is well in your world besides the cold.

  16. I hope you're feeling better today.
    I'm quite sure that the more gratitude I feel for all of these daily miracles . . . the more these daily miracles occur.

  17. She is a beauty, just like her mama.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.