Monday, July 16, 2012


I have been pathetically useless today. I did cook a tiny bit of bacon and an egg and served it to Buster who is languishing. He ate it with great enthusiasm, perking up for at least that bit of time. I don't know if that dog is going to make it. He's getting a lot of good attention in the here and now though and maybe he's in the Make A Wish stage of his life.
I feel fairly certain that if he could vocalize his wishes, one of them would definitely be bacon and eggs.
So there.

I watched a new Madonna video. Yes. That is how useless I have been.
She looks amazing. In the video. She looks amazing and fresh and hardly the fifty-something-year-old woman she is and you gotta give her some props, even though the video really isn't very interesting and the song even less so although you know, it's Madonna, not Bruce Springsteen or Bob Dylan and it pretty much sounds like what all of her songs have sounded like for the last thirty years or whatever.

While I was watching it, it occurred to me to wonder what it would be like if instead of trying to just constantly recapture her youth, she moved on to write songs about what it's like to be a mother, a divorced woman, a woman in love at an older age- in short, the whys and wheres of her life now instead of pop-hits that pop-tarts can dance to.
Don't ask me what a pop-tart is. I don't know. I just said that. (Yes, I know what a toaster pastry is.)
The truth of it is, no matter how much working out she does and how much surgery she gets (and I don't know if she's gotten any at all) and how good her nutritionists are and her make-up artists and hair-stylists are and how kind her videographers and photographers are, the woman is going to get older and she's going to start showing that eventually.
And shouldn't that be okay?

Our culture is so damn youth-oriented that for some reason we think that the only things worth writing songs about are what it feels like to be young. Speaking as someone who HAS been young, I can verify that those can be heady and interesting times but dammit, aging has some interesting aspects to it as well. Plus, if we're lucky enough- it's inevitable.

I think of Cher and how she has clung to her sex-goddess image for so long that she's become a caricature of her former self and it's not a good look and it's just sad. I mean, wouldn't it be better to just go ahead and be who she is at this age which I feel certain is still a pretty damn kick-ass bitch goddess and probably one who, if she let herself be, is gorgeous in another, older way?
It's not like her audience is remaining the age of 23 either, you know.

I think some of the men do better at this. I think of Dylan, I think of Springteen, who do write about what it's like to get older, to face mortality head-on, to explore that part of life too. I remember back in 1980 when John Lennon and Yoko Ono came out with Double Fantasy and how it was so poignant the way they sang about what a relationship feels like after it's been tested by some years, by many fears, by temptations and partings and resentments and then a coming-together, a reuniting, a new child.
I looked to John (and Yoko too) for instructions on how to negotiate life as the problems changed, as the challenges and rewards did too.
So much for that.

But of course, most male performers don't rely on the sexuality of their visual image as much as women do. I mean sure, it's important, but as we all know, men, as they age, are allowed to still be perceived as sexy, as desirable. Perhaps even more so. But for women, it's always a she looks great! FOR HER AGE thing, isn't it?
And we women perpetrate it. We buy into the whole myth that we can remain youthful our entire lives with the right cosmetics and exercise and surgeries and supplements. I mean, look at Madonna!
But why do we want to? Where are the role models for what a real actual live woman looks like as she ages? Where are the women with the beautiful faces they own and have earned?
Oh, they are out there. Just not so much in the light of the media. If you do a google-image search for "beautiful older women" you will find pictures of Susan Serandon and Helen Mirren and Sophia Loren but even those pictures are tarted up and there is the definite whiff of "for her age" about them.

It would be so brave for Madonna to do a video showing what she looks like without the make-up, without the hair styling, without the lens-blurring. But she, who purports to be so brave in her sexuality, her fearlessness in the face of society, just doesn't allow them to happen. Surely her half-her-age boyfriend sees her in the morning light without all of the spackling and blow-drying and leg-blemish-hiding-stockings. And yet, he seems to love her anyway.
Isn't THAT interesting? I think it is. I would like to hear a song about that. I believe it would be infinitely more interesting than a song about turning up the radio.

Well. This is what comes of a day of being useless. A lot of damn useless thoughts.

But. Still.

See you tomorrow.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. A lot of very interesting thoughts, and very true. She talks of liberation . . . sentenced to stay forever young.

  2. K.Hepburn's always seemed like a good model for aging gracefully. She pretty much just let it be as it was, but kept that cracking smart wit and sense of elegant but comfortable style. Plus a dash of our favorite accessory ... bright red lipstick. That's really all you need.

  3. Helen Mirren's terrific. So is Vanessa Redgrave. I don't see Madonna embracing or reinventing the crone---no money in it. Maybe Sigourney Weaver will have the guts and spirit to do so.

  4. She will get there sooner rather than later. We all do. Eternal youth is something that I wish we did have in a way. Because getting really old and infirm sucks.

  5. Yes. Hell yes. A friend (?) said to me recently that I needed to "do something" about the grey hair. I said back, "I'm 41 and a lot of 41 year olds have grey hair." The person let me know that it might make me look older. And my response was, "OLDER THAN WHAT? Older than I was last year or twenty years ago? Because guess what? I AM."

    And that was the end of that.

    I heard a great quote from Penelope Cruz recently. She said,"When I'm an 80 year old woman I want to look like an 80 year old woman." Imagine that.

  6. I was sitting on the upper deck of a ferry last week, enjoying the sea and the sun, on a bench, and on the bench next to me was a 30 something year old male who was 'checking out' all the young women parading by and you could tell he was hot and hungry and at one point he glanced in my direction and I swear he just sort of relaxed for a moment, I was not in his zone and I felt relief that I didn't have to move away from him in case he felt the urge to come over and chat me up or worry about my outfit or hair and it was relaxing to read and sketch and not feel like prey for the predatory men out there.

    that's just one little take on the whole thing.

    there are other takes on it, not quite so grateful. yeah. good musings mary.

  7. What was that thing Hank said that time about Cher...? It was so classic and now I only remember the gist of it. something like the boundary of appropriateness will always run up Cher's ass crack. Or something like that.

    In any case I pretty sure it still applies and would answer your question about why Cher is clinging for dear life to her youthful goddess bitch image, aging though it may be.

    I love Hank.
    And you of course!

  8. Here In the land of beach bunnies and starlets, the fear of aging takes a terrible toll. Too tan, too tucked, too buff, too botoxed. It just gets weird after a certain point. Of course, I love to get rid of my stretch marks and love handles. Praire Home Companion had a great skit on aging this past weekend. Why? The show was at the Hollywood Bowl. Probably 1/3 of the audience had had a little work done.

  9. When the soup can is bulging, is that Botox?

  10. I'm not averse to a bit of Madonna myself but I suspect....and I may well be absolutely wrong...that she might not pull so easily if she wasn't a megastar with a whoping great bank account!!

  11. I've seen lots of pics of her looking old - her arms and hands are witchy and ropey. She had extensive facial surgery to inject fat under her cheeks and make them round and full again - the whole 'new facelift' thing. I dunno. I'd like to see her ageing too, see what she could do to represent middle aged women in a beautiful, graceful way. I agree with you so totally.

    I saw Cate Blanchette doing this, btw, on a magazine cover, in contrast with Demi Moore - go Cate!

  12. Susan Sarandon is a gorgeous woman. Madonna looks like she's trying a little too hard, there's a tinge of desperation about it, and it makes me sad for her.

    that said, i'm not really loving this aging body i'm in either. i know i'm supposed to but i'm just not that evolved yet. i'm working on it.

    i love you bad, mary moon.

  13. I am tired of being told that I look good for my age, and also being to lie about my age to appease the ego of someone who's older than me but doesn't want to date someone of his own generation. (This has now happened 3 times)!

    I put a picture on FB that stated this is what 55 looks like. I have breasts that have fed children and a belly that has a tiny little cliff from carrying children, and by god that is better than a no-belly button tummy tuck with its scars/no feeling in the nipples from a boob job.

    Rant over.

    Thank you for this.


  14. bugerlugs- That's an interesting observation.

    liv- I think that before all of the surgery and botox's were available, women faced aging with more dignity- they pretty much had no choice. Now what Kate would have done NOW is something we'll never know. She had a hell of a lot of dignity, though, didn't she?

    A- The English ladies do seem to do it better.

    Syd- No kidding!

    GradyDoctor- I love that- older than WHAT? Let's get real here. Penelope Cruz will be a gorgeous 80-year old.

    Deirdre- Yes. That is something. Although it's weird, too, you know. Being off the radar when one was once on it. Less trouble. But you're right- there are plenty of other aspects which are more difficult.

    Ms. Fleur- I'd forgotten that! Hank's funny. I love him too. And Cher has been pretty quiet lately.

    Denise- I heard part of that skit. It was funny. Yeah, it's gotta be tough, living where you do if you don't buy into the bullshit.

    Magnum- I do believe it is.

    Young At Heart- It can't hurt to have the time to work out the way she does. Which means help with house and kids. Of course.

    Jo- Well, if I made the money Madonna does with that image, I'd preserve it as long as possible too. Truly, I think I would.

    Angella- Amen on not being evolved enough to appreciate this aging body. Amen! Susan Serandon is eternally beautiful in my eyes.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.