Thursday, July 5, 2012


Four days, four walks...crippled hips.
Not really. Nothing a little Ibuprofen can't take care of.
I'm hoping.

Ah. Jeez. I'd say it was me getting older but it's always been this way. Exercise pains me. And yet, I can't not do it, can I?

This morning went so well. I had an amazing experience, going to get my blood drawn. I'm not even kidding you. I got called back almost immediately and told the pretty phlebotomist that I had been just about to take the Redbook quiz in the magazine in the waiting room on sex and now I never would. She laughed and we went from there and in the ten minutes it took her to draw my blood (I have a vein in my left arm which makes me a phlebotomist's dream- you barely need a tourniquet) we discussed sex in both young marriage and in older, went on to marriage (she's been married 21 years), then to children (she, like me, has four but hers range from age 2-14) and then to her mother who, up until two months ago, has been living with her and her family and she is SO grateful to have her mother not in her house and that makes her feel SO guilty and I wanted to just take her in my arms and tell her that it's okay, okay, OKAY, her mother needs to make her own life now so that she, too, can have her own life.

I love it when women just completely bond that way. It's like we take off our skins and bare our souls right there in that moment.

We hugged when I left.
I already miss her.

On to Owen's house where he did the exact reverse of when he left here a few weeks ago, begging his mother to stop the car and leave him here with Mer-Mer and Bop. That he couldn't go home! He HAD to stay here. Stop the car now! Let him out now!
So of course today we left his house with him screaming at the top of his lungs that no, he COULD not go to Mer-Mer's house, it was scary, he HAD to stay with his mommy at his home which is a great home, and STOP THE CAR AND LET HIM OUT NOW!
I think we can safely say that the boy is having problems with transitions.

By the time we got here, he had calmed down and he wanted to sweep and so we swept, he with his broom, me with mine, and we washed the dogs and he brushed my hair and he put make-up on both himself and me too and he punched holes in a cereal box with a screwdriver (and of course, I approved of both of these activities- highly) and we couldn't go outside because I have never seen so many mosquitoes in my life as we have here right now. They swarm and are nightmarish. They could literally eat us alive. They have hatched from Debby's rains and they are blood thirsty and they are determined and quite frankly, I'm scared of them and I've lived in Florida most of my life.

We played games and did a puzzle. He ate pistachio nuts and I cracked them for him like he was a little Indian prince. We played with toys and by the time I took him home, he was exhausted and fell asleep in the car.

My tiny prince. My Owen boy.

When I was tidying up after I got home, I thought about how truly dirty my house is and how it needs a real, true cleaning from top to bottom. It occurred to me that if I won the lottery, one of the first things I would do would be to hire the best housecleaning crew I could find. I swear. I would.
And then I started thinking about what else I would do if I won that lottery and I think that after hiring that housecleaning crew, I would give both of my older children enough money for them to go to school and not have to work. Yes.
And maybe help set up Lily in some sort of business where she could work from home and not have to go off to work and also start a college fund for her sons.
And perhaps, buy a little house somewhere near here for Jessie and Vergil to live in part of the year because we miss them so.

So. House. Children. Grandchildren.

After that, it is hard to say. Everything I truly want, I have except for those things money cannot buy, which are things like not being so crazy and ensuring that my husband lives forever.

I have a car that runs just fine and I have my dream house and my chickens and my garden (sorely neglected as it is) and I have all the STUFF I want and need and more.
I wouldn't mind traveling to Mexico more often. I wouldn't mind going to Greece.
Okay, I wouldn't mind an emerald ring.
Don't even ask me why. I have no idea.

Oh sure, I would probably like to see that house in Apalachicola built.

But you know, personally? Fuck it. I have far more than I deserve or need already. This life, as I keep saying, is so much more than I ever thought I would have. Ever even dreamed of.

So tell me- what would you do if you won the lottery? Really and truly?
Buy more books? Quit your job? I know that some of you would not quit your job no matter how much money you had at your disposal. (Grady Doctor.)
Would you buy silk nighties and panties? Get your bosoms enhanced? Send your kid to law school? Go to law school yourself? Put in a swimming pool? Put a new roof on your house or buy a new one? Go crazy in a local nursery?
Get better health insurance?
Buy a fig orchard, a cottage on a cliff, go to Paris?

What crazy, marvelous, necessary, insane, sensible thing would you do?

I'm nosy.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. First I would pay off all of my children's college debt. I would buy a place on the ocean within 5 hours of Atlanta that we could all use and gather at and where I could sit and watch the waves when the air is bad. Or maybe we could relocate all of us somewhere the air is not bad. But there would have to be work for my kids too. I would give this house up - if anybody wanted it - and if we stayed in Atlanta I would buy a different house that had a basement for tornado watches and a sunny spot for a garden and enough room for a workshop room and a big room all the grandkids could sleep in on our new years eve sleepover. and also fully energy friendly - solar panels and hot water heater and wood heater and close to a park for bike riding and walking. and then I'd have to get two bikes. i'm sure my husband would want some specifics - a laptop for instance instead of the desktop only, a wood splitter.

  2. i'd pay off our house and keep working but maybe i would teach college so i would have a better schedule and then build tony a studio in the house so he could do art all day.


  3. I would live exactly where and as I live now and put most of that money away. It would give me such peace of mind not to have to have to take on clients/projects that were unreasonable or too demanding as I age. I would do my art without thinking I should be working. I would have a cleaning person once a week or once every other week. I would give money to people I love and charities I believe in. I would have a personal trainer show me how to exercise with achilles that are pulling away from the bone. All in all, I would use the experience of my years and not blow it on more things I don't need.

  4. I would travel the world. The ENTIRE world. Spend oodles of time doing it too. I want to see all of those places and beauties that you see in pictures. And I too would hire a housecleaner. Lord knows I need one.

  5. I'd pay off my debt. Buy a big house/or land to build one on, where we can all live together but seperately. Get divorced.
    probably. Build a swimming pool. Maybe run a little bakery or fund a birth centre, or both. Become a doula or a breastfeeding counsellor, maybe. Go on more holidays - buy a house abroad. Private school for the kids? I don't know, maybe. Learn to do stuff.

  6. Tattoos and travel. (After, you know, family and friends.)

  7. Mary, I can't even believe you walk like you do in this Florida heat. I just can't make myself do it; not only laziness, but you know, all this painting I have to do all the time.

    The mosquitos ~ OMG ~ two were in my kitchen when I got up this morning and one in my car when I went to run errands! Not even to mention the 5-6 on my arms. legs, face, etc., while trying to weed this morning (after the painting, of course)...

    If I won the lottery I would pay for my goddess-daughter to go to college for costume design, buy more paint, landscape my yard, build a music studio for John, and pay off L&L's mortgage on Rohde. I do not have children and my nephews do not need money from me, sooooooo....all that and Greenpeace and other good causes to help this beautiful planet of ours. A pipedream, but like all of them, a very nice pipedream!

  8. Am I perfectly evil for laughing at the "difficult transition" stage? What if I told you my four-year-old regularly has such total meltdowns until I say, "You DON'T want to go to Bobbi's (his version of Mer-Mer) house? And watch BATMAN??"

    "Oh." he says. "...Actually, I want to spend the night there."

    I'd pay off my near and dear's debts, travel the world with my younguns, find a place I adore, buy an eco house and land there, and luxuriate in a PhD program of my choosing.

  9. Animal sanctuaries. Everywhere. For everything. And lots of gifts to those already up and running, like this one for elephants in Tennessee:

  10. Oh, god, I've thought about this so much. First of all, I would pay off all our debts -- all of them. Then I'd put some money into a trust and build a school near the ocean for Sophie and kids and adults like her. Someplace beautiful. Then I'd buy houses for the two women who help me take care of Sophie. I'd get full time help for Sophie and finish my book. I'd put money away for both my boys to go to college or not. I'd immediately go on vacation with my family to Bora Bora. Before that, though, I'd hire a personal trainer who would get me in shape and help me to lose weight. There's nothing that I'd buy that's personal, though -- maybe a massage every single week. Oh, and a driver because I just don't like to drive. Then I'd give the rest away.

  11. oh the list is endless but one thing I do know, if i won the lottery I would definately let it change me .... and my nearest and dearest .... but until then it's back to work...I am going to greece for a week though in August and I cannot's been 30 odd years since the last visit so it's about time!!

  12. I've had these fanstasies like everyone and it is fun to try and decide how I would spend it! Of course, all debts would be paid, the mortgage cleared,.. a smaller house by the sea maybe in the South of France where I could live 6 months of the year especially when my brother retires there soon.. then money to clear the kids debts and mortgages, and lots of travel.. persons to clean this house through each week, and a gorgeous car to drive.. check out medical specialist to see if this Cauda Equina could be changed and made better.. then give to charities some money.. savings too.. in fact I would like it to be as large as I could live just off the interest, so when I am gone, my kids and their kids would never have to worry about money again.. ah well its nice to dream!!

  13. Dental implants, immediately! . . . Then a house boat, a small place in S.France, The holiday of a lifetime for the kids (their choice). A holiday alone (ish;-) for a week, or maybe two in the sun, a campervan for travelling . . . O well I best go and get the washing in, it's raining again!
    Thanks for a lovely day-dream x

  14. All- I tried twice last night to respond to each comment individually and twice all of those comments got lost. I can't do it again. I just can't.
    But I want to tell you that these are all some of the sweetest, most loving, adventuresome lottery-winning-fantasies I can imagine.
    Now Lori, go buy some more paint.
    Love you...Ms. Moon

  15. I would get a house on the coast of Maine or in Nantucket and go there in the summer. I can't think of anything else that I would want. Of course, the parents would be taken care of. I might also have a huge farm for neglected animals. And do other philanthropic things such as fellowships, etc. I would like to do for others with what I have.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.