Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Kids And Dogs And Soybean Patties

I am making approximately one million soybean, brown rice and vegetable patties. This is my gift in life: To take leftovers and create even more leftovers. It is like magic. I am uniquely talented in this regard.
Some people are fabulously talented at dance, some at painting or horticulture or diplomacy.
Me? I just take old food and make new-old food.
You work with what you have, right?

You'd think I'd lived through the Depression or the Irish Potato Famine the way I can't stand to throw food away. Not that anything really gets thrown away here. I do have chickens and dogs, you know. I did throw away most of a loaf of bread today. It was commercial bread and had to have been two weeks old and showed no signs of deterioration which to me says, "UNNATURAL!" despite the fact that the label proclaimed it to be, in fact, "NATURAL!"

The bread I make starts to mold in a couple of days. What in hell do they put in that store-stuff? Whatever it was, the chickens got it. My chickens may be free-range but their diet ain't organic. Or, even all-natural, I guess. Like, yesterday they ate a bunch of Spider Man cereal that Owen brought over. It was a color not found in nature with tiny marshmallows in it. Owen did not like it.
The chickens did.

Buster's in the dog hospital resting from his surgery. I assume. They never called to tell me how the surgery went but if he'd died or something, I suppose they would have called me. I'll go get him tomorrow after I babysit for Owen and Gibson. Lily and Jason are both opening tomorrow which means I have to be at their house at 5:45 a.m.
It'll be okay. Hopefully, both boys will stay asleep for awhile at least and I'll go back to sleep myself. Then we can play all day. Gibson and I got to cuddle a lot today. I think he was enchanted with his Mer-Mer for some reason. I hope he's enchanted with me again tomorrow.

Owen got a Power Ranger costume today. We were at the Costco and he saw them and that was that. He is eat up with love for the Power Rangers. We told him no but his plaintive weeping melted our stony hearts and we caved.

The costume comes, as you can see, with gloves and a helmet. 
Also, muscles. 
I don't think he's going to wear anything else for the next three months although it has to be like a sauna in that thing. Not only is it made of something which is also definitely not found in nature, it has all those muscles in it. He doesn't care. He'll pass out from heat stroke before he'll admit that it's too hot. It's like when you take kids swimming and their lips turn blue and they're shivering like little dogs and yet, they refuse to come out of the water because they are NOT COLD. No, they are not.
Children are stubborn little critters, aren't they? 

Well, that's about it. Mr. Moon is on his way home from Orlando, I have approximately one million soy bean, brown rice and vegetables patties and Buster is in the hospital. You should have seen the way he followed that lady at the vet's office down the hall. He has no concept of "his" humans. He was as happy as a dog can be. 
Maybe she'd like to keep him. 

No. I still haven't done the drawing for the CD. I will. I WILL! I'm thinking about it a lot. I've just been busy, you know, making soybean patties and playing with my grandsons and taking Buster to the vet and feeding unnatural foods to my chickens. I won't get my hands on the CD's until Thursday anyway, so it's a moot point right now. Except for the fact that I know everyone is on the edge of their seat with anticipation. 

Give-aways are stressful for us all. I don't know how Pioneer Woman does it.
And yet, she does. 

Well, we all have our gifts. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. It's an excellent skill you have there. At least you make patties- everything I have goes into soup or, more likely, dog bowls.

    The dog of mine I'd like to give away has no concept of "his" humans, either. I joke about letting him try bungee jumping or maybe letting him play fetch off the roof. Which is terrible, because I am an avid lover of animals and an animal rights person. He'd just that obnoxious. And yeah, I keep him out of guilt.

    Cheers to leftovers and guilt-induced care.

  2. I need a costume with muscles in it. I think that'd be grand.

    BTW-PLEASE see 'Beasts of the Southern Wild' if it possibly makes it to your neck of the woods.

    It is SPLENDID. Like you.

    XX Beth

  3. Leftovers get recycled into leftover soup if they don't get eaten in the next few days. I hate to throw away food too. What we don't eat goes in the compost pile.

  4. I'd say you accomplished quite a bit with your chigger bites and all. Your leftovers sound good. What do you do with chicken leftovers that is interesting? I hope you get good rest tonight before your big play date tomorrow! Swat j

  5. I meant 'sweet.'

  6. Best laugh I've had all day. Thanks for cracking me up. I have the same issues with bread, the store bought stuff never molds, but since I think it's unnatural it lasts that long, I throw it out anyway. And anything I make from scratch is guaranteed to turn into a science project before my very eyes.

    Owen is one fierce power ranger! I remember when both my kids loved them, it's too cute.

    I was at Target today, looking for a book they don't have and there was Pioneer Woman staring at me. I just rolled my eyes and thought sheese, who'd buy a cookbook that's mostly online anyway? She's not half as entertaining as you, I'll tell you that.

  7. I never seem to get around to reading Pioneer Woman.
    I'm too busy reading about your leftovers, the weird things your chickens eat, and all the other wonderful and interesting things you write about. Maybe you could rig a give away and she could win Buster.

  8. Twenty years ago my son loved power rangers too. Not much changes! Enjoy your sweet grandsons. And don't worry for Owen. Kids don't feel heat or cold much. Hugs.

  9. That's a mighty fine gift to have.
    I gotta go find out who this Pioneer woman is . . .

  10. Catching up with you here. I am doing well on the detox diet. Will keep you posted. I certainly am not hungry.

  11. And here I thought the give-away was over and I bought the CD... oh well, it's worth it :)

    Do you guys or Lily and Jason have the streaming Netflix? There are MANY seasons/flavors of Power Rangers to choose from. On second thought, you might never get Owen away from the TV, bad idea.

  12. At least when you throw away food, you give it to the chickens. Which isn't really throwing it away. We have to put it in the trash, which just kills me. I wind up making leftovers on top of leftovers, just like you.

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