Thursday, July 19, 2012

Mission Accomplished At The DMV

So I drove all the way to Monticello which is about fifteen miles or so down the road east of here and I found the place where you get your driver's license and damn if there wasn't a sign on the door that said, "Closed Tuesday, July 17 and Thursday, July 19."

And they were right. It was closed.

Then I drove to Tallahassee which is about twenty-five miles or so west of Monticello because I was ready to get my license, dammit! I had my documents and I was wearing lipstick! Hey-hey! So I went to the office, thinking I'd be there for hours and damn if they didn't call my number in less than five minutes and from there it went quick and easy. I almost had a panic attack because one of the documents I had with my address and name on it had my PO box address rather than my physical address but then I found my new voter registration card and it DID have my physical address on it and that worked and the picture on my new license doesn't even suck. I just look like a little old round-faced woman but I don't look like a sociopath so I'm happy.

I love how they ask you all these questions like: Are you addicted to any drugs or intoxicants? Are you mentally ill? Do you suffer dizzy or fainting spells?

What person in their right mind is going to answer YES to any of those questions?

I just kept saying, "No m'am," "No m'am," "No m'am," until we got to the organ donor question to which I answered a resounding "YES!" but I have my doubts that anyone would want any of my organs and that includes my skin which is not looking good at all these days. But hell, if they want anything after I'm dead, they can have it. Although isn't there some report out about what they do to the remains of organ donors? I don't even want to know.
Frankly, whatever happens to my body after I'm dead is hardly a big concern of mine at the moment.

I felt like I'd won the lottery when I had that new driver's license in my hand and I don't have to get it renewed until 2020 or something ridiculous like that. 2020 doesn't sound like real year to me. It sounds like a Science Fiction year.

So then I went to the store for about the fiftieth time this week and got some squash and spinach and soy sauce and I looked for a Vogue Magazine because Keith Richards and his family are in it this month and you know I must have that.

But there was no Vogue Magazine at the Publix.

Oh well. Yet one more thing to look forward to.

And now I have two clean-ish bathrooms and rugs are going in the laundry and soy beans are simmering and whole-wheat/oatmeal bread is actually rising and the chicken waterer is filled up and I just think it's been a real good day although I did not see my grandsons so it wasn't perfect but it was pretty fine. I am giving all the credit to that pork chop and a good night's sleep. In fact, the entire secret to a happy and productive life may well be pork chops and a good night's sleep.

And tomorrow I'm going to go see Moonrise Kingdom. I swear to god I am. I don't care if I have to sit on the damn floor, I'm going to see that movie. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I have to get a new license in December and am bummed because the picture on my current one is kinda good. :-/

    Glad it all went so smoothly, after you got to Tally.

    Enjoy the movie. I want to hear what you think of it! (I haven't seen it, but might.)

  2. I haven't eaten a pork chop for many, many years. Could this be the problem?
    I used to cook them with apple rings.
    But the tofu, kale and brown rice are bubbling on the stove right now.
    And the photo on my driver's license looks like Ma Barker. And the one on my Costco card is even worse, though I made them try three or four times.

  3. When my husband applied for a green card, one of the questions they asked was, "Have you ever committed genocide?"

    Your dinner sounds delicious, and I wish I was coming over because I'm caving on dinner and ordering pizza.

  4. This post was hysterical - I am glad you didn't look like a sociopath and I would dare someone to answer yes to any of those questions - too funny. I have never eaten a pork chop and you have me just about convinced that my life would be perfect if I had one. You should get a medal or something for taking a dreary subject like a trip to the DMV funny.

  5. Ha, I had to renew my license on Tuesday. In and out in five minutes. When I got in the car afterward I realized a crucial button of my blouse was undone (yeah, right at the boob area). I thought, "Hmmm, this is going to be one interesting driver's license."

  6. Hello , dear heart. Milo doesn't want bread made 'of me' but he wants bread made 'by me'-a distinction there for sure. O how I love having that boy around!

    XXX Beth

  7. Having detox juice of olive oil and lemon this AM. This is a sail/meditation retreat. I think I am going to die without some hearty food for these 3 days. All I can think of is something besides raw kale.

  8. Ha, Syd. No doubt it's worth it :)

    That is a pretty cool picture, alright, Mary.

  9. Nicol- Go see it!

    A- At Costco they keep telling me I can get my picture put on my card and I keep saying, "No thanks!"

    Elizabeth- That's the best! Committed genocide! I can honestly answer no to that one.

    Anonymous- Really. You ARE the nicest Anonymous ever. Honey- never? Goodness. Well, it's okay. You don't have to eat pork chops. But I do.

    Tamera- Well if you're like me, you do anything you can to avoid being asked for a driver's license. But that extra unbuttoned button may come in handy!

    Beth- How we love our boys and what they say. Yes.

    Syd- Jesus. Good luck.

    Jo- Thank you! You noticed! Isn't it a beautiful picture?


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