Tuesday, May 17, 2011


We're just waiting. Pearl just got up and she's eating her last breakfast right now. The stinky dog food with venison gravy on it.
It's been a sad morning. It seems like it's already gone on forever. I did, of course, call the dentist and reschedule and I was feeling all, "Oh, I'm not even feeling this. I'm just feeling relieved. Relieved is all I'm feeling," but when I talked to the lady at the dentist's office I teared up, telling her why I wasn't coming.


You want to know the truth? I never even wanted a dog. Not really. I had four kids. Who needed a puppy? And it took Pearl about three years to get housebroken. And that's just the bare bottom of the grief that dog caused me. And she always loved Glen best. And the kids. Me, she tolerated. Me, who fed her, walked her more than anyone. Oh, every mother knows this story.
And yet.


And then Jessie left a comment on my last post and thanked me and Daddy for bringing Pearl into our lives and well, that's why you do it. That is why.
And Lily is coming out with Owen. He won't be in the room when Pearl goes, but he'll get one last pet, give her one last hug.

Shit. I'll be so glad when this is done.
You want to know the other truth?

This is just so hard.



  1. Oh Ms. Moon. I'm so sorry and am thinking of you this morning, and Pearl and all your lovelies. My son told me last night, when we were discussing our cat who is terribly ill, and our late friend Laura who died of cancer last year, "Mom, it's okay. We're all just part of the world's soul anyway and we just go home at the end. Our real home. And then we'll always be together."

    And considering this is the kid who regularly debates his Sunday school teachers on, you know, EVERYTHING and who loves his evolution story book the most ever--well, he's pretty certain of this.

  2. Oh Dear Ms Moon,
    My heart is breaking for you.
    There is just no getting away from it.

  3. Oh no. It's such a raw, simple pain to lose a pet. I think it's because they love us for exactly who we are, blindly. To lose them is like losing part of our best selves. Sending love, love, love your family's way.

  4. Dogs are all about unconditional love. One of the hardest things we do is to help them on their journey. I love what Sara's son said.

    Jessie's comment on last night's post brought tears to my eyes. I know you will all be missing your precious daughter/sister/aunt tonight. Love to you all. And peace to Pearl.

  5. It is so very hard.
    You're a good dog mama.
    Loving you from here.

  6. Pretty much the hardest thing you'll ever do. I had to put down my 18 year old dog a few years ago and I still tear up thinking about it. It was harder than when my father died.

  7. Oh god. I am so sorry. When I get home I will light a candle and worship at the alter of the Animal Gods and keep you and yours in my mind all this day.

    rebecca holding you close

  8. yes.
    it is the hardest of hard things. this
    ultimate letting go.
    believe in the peace of it.
    and relish the presence that remains...
    in all your lives.

  9. Yes, it is so hard. I was all ready I thought and then Timmi is eating and playing with his hedgehog. I just could not do it yesterday, especially with the vet being hopeful. I listened to my inner voice and looked in his eyes. I know what is coming. I am glad that Pearl and you came together. That little puppy was such a large part of your life. What a lucky girl.

  10. I have been thinking of you all since yesterday. In all we do for our fur-babies, in all the ways we love them, the hardest one is in letting them go, helping them go if need be, and knowing when the time has come.

    You have done what needed to be done. You're a good mom, Mary Moon.


  11. Sara- You tell that boy that that's the best explanation of death I ever heard in my life. Thanks. Not just for telling us that, but for raising such a fine, wise child.

    Magpie's Nest- I sure appreciate that.

    silverfinofhope- It's pretty basic stuff, isn't it? Thanks.

    lulumarie- Love received and returned. And she IS at peace.

    Bethany- Love you too.

    Lisa PR- Eh, I ain't the best dog mama, believe me. But I do my best.
    Thank-you, baby.

    Jeannie- I sure do understand that.

    Madame Radish King- That makes me so happy. Thank-you.

    rebecca- She'll always be a part of us, somehow. She's woven into our memories.

    DTG- Wasn't she?
    And boy, did she love cheese.

    Syd- I think it is a huge relief when that decision is made. I do.

    invisigal- Who are you? Are you one of my sweeties? Thank-you.

  12. She loved you. She followed you around. That is doggy love for you.

    Old age and death suck shit.

  13. Prayers and love sent your way....I know this pain...

  14. I am sorry I didn't introduce myself in the first place. I followed you over here from SB's place, cuz I enjoyed your comments over there so much. I guess I followed SB from Syd's place, and followed Syd from louisey...

    I guess I have been hanging around these blogs the last couple-few years. Prolly high time I got a place of my own, I know.

    Hope you don't mind if I drop in from time to time.



Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.