Sunday, May 15, 2011

This Morning, This Day, This Life

Sweet morning and so quiet and the light...
Oh, how I have missed this light.
Yes, North Carolina is beautiful but so is Lloyd. I still can't believe I get to live here.
It rained last night and the rain washed everything clean of heat and dust. The light flows like butter (it does, it does!) over the green, through the leaves of these huge trees, and the birds are calling, calling.

And yet, here we are, and I am thinking about my mother and all the work my brother's done while we were gone, taking her all over Tallahassee to find the right place, looking at the money situation, figuring it all out and bearing the brunt of her frustration, her anger at the horrible knowledge of her mind's failings.
I couldn't have done it. He did.

But now I'm going to have to take over and I feel completely inadequate. Completely. Me, who can make a Huge Big Deal out of going to Costco- how in the world will I do what must be done? Life never, ever stands still. Maybe for one moment, here and there.

Well. First things first. Breakfast. Take trash. Do laundry. Mop floors. Dig a grave? Oh Lord.

Keep moving. Keep doing. This is life. Change happens. Try to accept with grace and do the work with as much dignity as possible. Accept that yes, it will happen to all of us.

And hopefully, before the day is over, see Lily and Owen, welcome him into our arms. See what he has learned in the past week, see how he has grown. Wonder what Jessie and Vergil are doing, what their house looks like now and how the light looks in their world, coming in the windows to find those yellow walls.

Here we are, good-morning, Church of the Batshit Crazy is back and the doors are flung wide open. I will try to do the same with my heart, even though right now it feels as tight as nut in there, afraid to open its eyes.

Home with all of its peace and all of its chaos. Home with all of its light and all of its dark places. Home with its new-opened flowers and ripening vegetables and with its weeds and fallen branches and floors that need to be mopped.

Let us eat, let us clean, let us set what we can to rights and let us do what must be done and find rest at the end of each day, knowing that we are the lucky ones, the ones who have a place we call home.

Good morning.
Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Good morning Ms. Moon. We love you.

  2. i have been away this past week as well, but away in my new own home. sounds like i have a lot of catching up to do.


    lots of lights and lots of dark

    love you lots ms moon


  3. I love the way you start HERE and NOW. I need to learn that. THERE and THEN will come later. All there is, is HERE and NOW.

    (I hope your there and then work out, too, Ms. Moon. They too will pass. xxx)

  4. Life doesn't let up with all it's complications until we die. The trick is to live it on life's terms and not mine.

  5. Welcome home and everything that means.

  6. Maybe Lloyd is so beatufiul because of the people who live there? You're great to read Ms. Moon, thanks for sharing your stories and photos.

  7. This is such a great post to read while eating the delicious soft-boiled egg I decided to allow myself, and sipping good coffee. I am reminded of time when my life was full of joy and contentment with where I was. The light, the air. Peace. Thank you, Ms Moon.

  8. It's good to come here and read of your day -- whether it's the beginning, the middle or the end, it's a pleasure. Thank you for the constancy --

  9. Jill- Thank-you. It is so nice to be loved.

    michelle- I am thinking of you. I am sending you so many big fat balloons of love. Bubbles of love, too. Can you catch them in your hands?

    Terena- Thank-you, sister.

    Mwa- They will pass. Thank you for reminding me.

    Syd- Why is it so hard to do that? WHY??

    Lisa- I've missed you so.

    Rebecca- No. Lloyd is just beautiful in and of itself.

    A- It makes me happier than you can know to think of you eating an egg.

    Elizabeth- A constancy of conundrums. But what else is there, really? I love you, dear.

  10. I love you so! Glad you got back safely.

  11. I do love to read your posts, Ms. Moon. Happy you made it home safe.


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