Thursday, March 31, 2011

Joke Of The Day- Slightly Dirty

I am ripping off at least two people here but what the hell?

Elizabeth posted a joke of the day and May told me this particular joke when she called me from the mall to complain that all the bras these days have padding and we can't figure that out- is it a plot by the rubber foam industry and why are we hiding our nipples? So I'm ripping off Elizabeth and May because I have nothing else to say except that it's been an exceptionally lovely day for me, and that Mr. Moon and I just did an entire walk-around and I saw two things I'll be taking pictures of tomorrow out behind the old barn and we kicked some bamboo and were struck, once again, at how DAMN lucky we are and it was just so nice. So very nice.

And you've heard it all before. Hell, you could probably walk around my property yourself and name all the plants and the chickens too so I'll just stop there.

Here's the joke:

Two eggs were boiling in the pan and one said to the other:

"I apologize if it takes me a while to get hard. I've just been laid."

Which is an entirely appropriate joke for my blog and sort of silly and not too dirty and we're going to eat pinto beans for supper. With cornbread. And squash. This is the meal I'd probably ask for on my death bed except on my death bed, I'd request that the squash be fried and served with a bottle of Heinz Ketchup whereas we're eating ours tonight basically steamed with onions which is fine and lovely but not as good as fried. Let's face it.

Thanks, May. Thanks, Elizabeth. I love you.


  1. Pinto beans and cornbread, yum. What kind of squash?

  2. Dear Mary, I wish everything didn't taste better fried, but it does.

    The joke was entirely appropriate I thought, especially with your all chickens and egg hunting! Much love to you xx

  3. A- Just plain old yellow. From the store. Ours is planted and should be coming up any day now.

    Christina- I know! Fried is always best for taste if we are honest. And it was just a silly joke and not very dirty at all but it made me laugh. Much love to YOU!

  4. I love you, too. And that meal sounds divine.

  5. Elizabeth- It was! And I made a carrot/apple/celery/walnut salad to go with. The many-bowls-and-plates meal. It was so good.

  6. Excellent joke and definitely going to share with Mrs. Shife. Enjoy your delicious meal and hope the glorious weather continues for you. We almost got to 70 today with lots and lots of sunshine. The rain and cold return this weekend so we going to enjoy it while we can. Have a good one, Ms. Moon.

  7. Sounds like a good meal. Like the joke a lot.

  8. My eyes are burning after reading that pornography! :)

    We went out for pizza tonight and just enjoyed some good conversation. I love times like that. I'm sure you hugged Mr. Moon and enjoyed your lovely dinner just as I hugged A and enjoyed ours.

  9. I've been wondering why all the nipples had gone away; now I know.

  10. Mr. Shife- You could almost tell that joke to Baby Shife. Hee-hee.

    Syd- I know. It's a good one, right?

    Mel's Way- Sometimes I wish we lived closer to a place that served pizza. Besides my own kitchen, of course. I'm so glad you and A had a night out for hugs. Hugs are GOOD.
    (Sorry about the porn.)

    Magnum- It's so sad, isn't it?

  11. Great joke. Loved it.

    Love you more though.

  12. I haven't fried squash in years and now I want some. Love that joke by the way!

  13. Well, that was a funny joke. I may just rip you off, what the hell, it bears repeating.

  14. The joke was funny and I will share they with my Love...he loves jokes only I am a lousy joke teller. I will copy this one down.

    And the padding in bras...okay. Confession. Us small (tiny) breasted women need all the lovely padding we can get. I am an IPEX Victoria Secret bra wearer and this is what makes me feel balanced (with the hips!).

  15. Love everything about this post..
    except for the ketchup. Can't do it. But I love you regardless ;) .

  16. Ms. Bastard-Beloved- It's a fun joke. Childish and yet, somewhat sophisticated. Like us! Haha! Love you.

    Brother Wrecking Ball- You're hysterical.

    Lois- Ah. The Southern Veggie plate: fried squash, fried okra, fried green tomatoes. You know you want one.

    Angella- Please do!

    Ellen- Tell that joke to whomever you please! And it's short and easily remembered. As to padded bras- THERE SHOULD BE A CHOICE! That's all I'm saying.

    deb- That's okay. Ketchup is not for everyone. Almost. But not everyone. Love you, too.

  17. Looking for the dirty jokes. Get here

    One man asked a baapu his age,? baapu, tamaaree ummar ketlee?
    Baapu: ..baavis
    The man: men paanch varsh pahela puchhyun?tu toye tame baveesa ja kahelee!
    Baapu? ekvaar kaheene faree jay to BAAPU shena?!


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