Friday, March 25, 2011

Friday Morning

Owen's coming, Owen's coming, Owen's coming. Yes, really, today he is.
The rooster's crowing, the rooster's crowing, the rooster's crowing. Every day he does.

Good morning!
So last night I went out to close up the chickens in their little Coop Mahal and dang if a ugly-ass possum wasn't about to enter the hen house. I ran towards the door that slides up and down on a clever pulley-rope and slammed it shut and as soon as I got that done, the possum was nowhere to be found. I need to do a perimeter check of the fencing today, see how that sucker got in and got out. Kerry had just told us a story of a young possum that got into their bedroom in Winter Haven twice before he toted it across a lake and let it go over there to terrorize some other suburban Havenite.


They are prehistoric looking beasts.
When they "play possum" and keel over in feigned death they could fool a mortician. They have gross liquid that comes out of their mouths and I am not kidding. They do everything but eject blood from their ani so you leave it there on the deck where you heard it eating your petunias to come back and bury it the next day but it's never there when you get up in the morning.
No, it's all cozy and back in its nest in the insulation under your house, chuckling over how it fooled the higher life forms again.

But, a possum is a living creature and Kathleen thinks they're cute although she doesn't like them in her hen house either, not after finding one with one of her chicken's head in its mouth. And I will tell you this- if it weren't for cars, we wouldn't be able to walk on the ground because there'd be so many possums. We'd have to walk on possums to get where we were going but cars are a possum's natural enemy and mostly those dead ones you see on the side of the road really ARE dead and not just faking it and you do know why the chicken crossed the road, right?
To show the possum it CAN be done.

Okay. Where am I going with this?
Obviously nowhere.

Owen's coming, the rooster's crowing, the sun is coming up and I will leave you with this bit of completely unrelated wisdom:
Sometimes you do not need 25% more, even if it is free.

Who needs 25% more Triscuits for free and why don't they ever give you an extra beer and a half for free when you buy a six-pack?

Who knows? Not me.

Happy Friday, y'all.
Love...Ms. Moon


  1. So is that a real dead possum or a faking possum? Because if it's faking, it's the best fake death ever!

  2. Possums are pretty ugly and I hate it when one comes up on my back porch in the middle of the night and picks a fight with my cat through the sliding glass door!

  3. I love the last thought.

    The photo of the possum is disturbing though.

    I love you MORE than beer!

  4. that it playing possum? scary..and you have WAY scarier possums than we do in Australia by the look of that thing...

  5. Jo- Faking death. I tell you- they are GOOD at that shit.

    Lois- They want to eat your cat. I bet that's a real fun fest.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- I love you more than vodka, so THERE!

    Screamish- Yeah. Your possums look like cute little teddy bears. Ours like like elongated rats with horrible sharp teeth.

  6. YYYYYYaarrrgghhhhhh!! That thing is frickin terrifying. We have lovely cuddly looking possums over here that make the most blood curdling-psycho-serial-killer noises. I cannot imagine one hurting a chicken.

    Sarah xxx

  7. Dude, that possum is creeeeepy.

  8. Cars and dryers. We cooked one that got stuck up in the clothes dryer in our house in Lake Elsinore. Smelled very very bad.

    You'll have to post a pic of Owen right quick so we don't have to look at that critter too long :)

  9. We didn't cook it in the dryer on purpose of course. We didn't know it was there until it was too late. Just wanted to clear that up.

  10. oh dammit, you scared me. i'm not reading this now. i'm freaked out.
    will come back when i recover and catch up. shew Ms moon!

  11. I am enjoying your morning humor Ms. always bring up such good points. Lessons and words to thank about.

    I am wondering why we have no possums at our home. Deer, coyote, skunk, squirrels, birds galore from jays to turkey vultures, turkeys, snakes, feral cats...but no possums...

    Have a fine weekend you all!

  12. I found a stranded baby possum once. It had crawled into a wire cage, and the door closed behind it. I was facinated with how cute and ugly it was. And, it is odd, that we never ever get 1 1/2 free beers. Bummer.

  13. I had to look at your post due to the possum pic. We found one in our basement many years ago, it was in the washer and we thought it was a sock, it was a baby possum, it scared the beeejeszzus out of both of us, since I am Buddhist I couldn't kill it so we contained to to another part of the area, and it started to follow me when we set it down...that too freaked me out...point of this is:
    Possums are freaky little creatures.

  14. I like him! He has hideously cute little fingers (err...paws?).

  15. Whew, I am glad that opossum wasn't dead. At first I thought that you were going to write about slamming his pointy head in the hen house trap door. Opossum guillotine.

  16. Don't care for possums, they're ugly and make ugly faces and according to Jimmy Carter taste awful. Fortunately I too have a bowl of oatmeal. With dried cranberries and cinnamon. Tastes good.

  17. Wow! That is one horrible looking animal! And I'm an animal lover. I don't think I've ever seen one.

    When I was a kid there was a dead hedgehog at the end of our road it had the same teeth as that. Every day when I walked to school it would be more decomposed, it was hideous and ended up giving me a dead animal phobia. I'm fine with live mice, rats whatever running around but not dead ones. Bonkers isn't it? xx

  18. Misfits Vintage- They do. They eat chickens. They are HUGE!

    SJ- Don't I know it.

    Stephanie- I was hoping it was an accident.

    Bethany- No possums were harmed in the making of that post.


    Laura- I guess because they'd have to make a seven-and-a-half pack. Too lazy.

    Gabriella- I wouldn't kill a possum either. Unless it was eating my chicken. Then I might.

    nicol- Yes. I suppose they are paws.

    Syd- It's an idea.

    DTG- Or, you could use a MOLE guillotine!

    A- I've never eaten possum. Even here in the south, they are pretty darn low on the food chain. Although I hear that if cooked properly with sweet potatoes, they're not awful. But they're greasy. I'll pass.

    Christina- I can't get NEAR a dead animal. So I understand. And animals do not become more charming as they decompose, do they?

  19. DTG- We shall NOT squish it with our love.

  20. Did you know?
    Possums eat all types of insects, including cockroaches, crickets, beetles, etcetera.
    They catch and eat rats, roof rats, mice, and they consume dead animals of all types (carrion).
    They like over-ripe fruit, berries, and grapes.
    And they think snails and slugs are a delicacy!
    I had a family of possums take up residency in my compost pile once. If they'll eat the slugs and snails in my garden, I'd happily cultivate them there again.

  21. Hi--I live in Margate, Fl and have a possum family under the house. neighbor told me to put mothballs out. So I am getting some today because they've chewed into the dishwasher insulation and are trying to do something at the floor vents.
    I'll post about my progress later. Sobriety date-11/24/1976. I prefer to live with everything in peace but I don't want my house ruined either. Love to all, Kathy

  22. I love this post. Sorry about the spotty comments - am reading all of your lovely wisdom, but can comment on them all because I'm sure I will be called away to medicate someone shortly.


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