Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Considering The Alternatives, All Is Very Well

Okay, first I have to say that I think that picture of the froggie on my header is amazing. Seriously. I do. I love it. And after I tortured him with the camera I took him outside so no frogs were harmed in the taking of that picture. Except mentally.

Here he is, perched on the rim of a potted rose, a little dirty from his landing but fine, nevertheless.

So good morning and I just got off the phone with Lily and she added some more information to her rebel-years history and I said, "Oh, honey, I did some things too," and we both chuckled. Then I told her that I have a new foot injury which is causing me to limp around and so I was thinking about not coming to town to join her and Jessie and possibly May in some Goodwill shopping and then lunch with Hank but she reminded me that they need me because IT IS SENIOR DISCOUNT DAY and so, well....
I told her that I just need to go to a nursing home now, get it over with.
"Do you want us to put you to pasture?" she asked.
"I think that would be lovely as long as you give me a little tent and bring me foods."
"You don't want to eat grass?"
"I'm no good at grazing," I told her.

So hell, I'll probably hobble to town and go Goodwill shopping with my babies and then go to lunch with them and Hank who is tied to his state job today. I'd say something about our governor and how he's treating the state workers (like slaves) but I'm in a pretty good mood and would hate to wreck it but I will say that HE'S A CRIMINAL AND SHOULD BE IN JAIL, this governor of ours but he's not. He's the governor.

I will also say that the soup was delicious and will be even better today and I just heated some up and mixed in an egg and some dog food for Pearl's breakfast and that she's probably going to live forever now. I will also relate that when I was eating my soup last night I was watching Anthony Bourdain on the TV skin a squirrel and then get drunk in a dive Southern bar and arm wrestle a woman who had an arm about the size of a pencil and she whopped his ass and it was so entertaining that I had to call Ms. Sarcastic Bastard-Beloved to see if she was watching it too but she wasn't so we just chatted for awhile and that was so nice.

And then I had dreams you wouldn't believe but overall, I slept quite well and woke up to a house full of dog pee and poop. I tried like hell to get Pearl to go out and pee last night before I went to bed. I even CARRIED HER OUTSIDE in my very own arms but she turned back around and bolted into the house and then I lured her out with a piece of cheese but again, she just snapped up the cheese and came back inside and so there was Lake Pearl in the hallway this morning.
I tried. I truly tried.

Oh well. This house is one hundred and fifty one years old. Someone has to eventually destroy it. I guess it might as well be us.

And now I'm off to give my kids the senior discount and play with Owen while they shop. Maybe I could borrow my mother's new walker. We've gotten rain, yesterday's sticky humidity has abated and it is cooler again and the weather can't seem to make up its mind any more than a demented old lady who wears a tattered, ancient silk slip embroidered in lavender and salmon with a fur coat made of mink heads with beady eyes that never quit staring at you and well, at least it's interesting.

Good morning!


  1. Good morning! I can't wait to see you for lunch!

    I'm afraid that frog will jump in your soup. My frog fears make no sense!

  2. Dtg made me laugh.
    Hope yr foot feels better. And you all get lots of good stuff at goodwill.
    Glad pearl got yr soup but sorry she peed a river.
    Good morning to u.

  3. Maybe some super cool polish would make those feet feel better. Have a good day. Pearl is so old in dog years that she may have some dementia. We will all have our moments of incontinence if we live so long.

  4. I am seeing the frog swimming laps in the soup now.

    Hope your foot feels better soon. I think you're too young for a senior discount in your fifties, surely?

  5. I was impressed with that frog photo myself! Tell DTG I have funny frog fears too! Mine stem from a weird dream when I was very young. My eardrum ruptured during the night and I dreamt a frog was in my ear. Scary (and hurty) stuff, at the time.

    Also, that senior discount is da bomb!

  6. I'm pretty sure that the frog is a magical frog and if a princess kisses it he will turn into a prince or something magical will happen

  7. I love love love your header photo. It's art, Mary.

    Hope your foot heals sooner. I used to keep a pair of crutches for the odd injury, which seemed to happen at least once a year. But somehow it's a lot harder to use crutches now than it was, so maybe the walker is a good idea. My dad's has a fold-down seat so he can take a load off when he wants. In case you're shopping for one...

  8. LOVE the frog picture! He'll get over the mental harm and play in frogsville again-I just know it! :)

  9. What a cute green Kermit. The tiny tree frogs here haven't squeezed through the window cracks into the house yet this season, but they always do. I wish I could get a close-up of their apparently kohl-lined, gold painted eyelids!

  10. That photo is amazing. And I wish I could join you and your babies for lunch and Goodwill.

  11. It would be a pity if the dogs destroyed the house though. It really would.

  12. DTG- If the frog jumped into the soup, I would throw the soup out. I promise.

    Bethany- She can't help it, I guess. But it's starting to be very annoying.

    Syd- Amen on the incontinence. And I think a pedicure would be wonderful. You're so smart!

    Jo- Nope. Goodwill gives you the discount when you turn fifty.

    Ms. Trouble- Argghhh! That would do it!

    Rebecca- Not in this house.

    Kathleen Scott- I don't really need a walker. Yet.

    Nicol- He's probably telling his tale of terror right now.

    A- Aren't they beautiful?

    Elizabeth- Me too!

    Angie M- You're right.

  13. Dear Mary, I was going to say today that I think the banner photograph is brilliant, the colours are fabulous. I am in awe of your photography.

    I love a bit of Anthony Bourdain. They show it back to back here. And you talked to SB. How lovely!

    I was going to ask how old your house is. It's so pretty, I love your terrace (not sure what you call it?). Mine is 155 years old this year and going strong. As yours will.

    Pearl sounds like she does whatever she likes, I laughed about the cheese. Love C xx

  14. Christina- Pearl DOES do whatever she wants. And we're letting her. I'm glad you like the picture of the frog. I call my camera my "magic eyes." And Anthony Bourdain is a big ol' favorite of mine.

  15. I dig the frog's toes. They fascinate me. I also dig cat toes.

    It was so great talking with you, I can't tell you.

    Sorry PEARL'S! pissing all over everything. That fucking sucks.




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