Tuesday, March 15, 2011

And So Forth


Yesterday evening in my walk around the yard after I had moved some plants outside and done some watering, I picked a small branch of dogwood with its bit of Spanish moss on it and three camellias and set them in the round green vase and every time I walked past them, I had the urge to take their picture.
They are just so beautiful to me and are a sort of perfect that resounds with my soul like one of those humming brass bowls which the Tibetian monks play. Maybe it's the Tibetian monks. Like I'd know.

I will tell you this- I never thought that I was much of a visual person until I began to take pictures for this blog.
So.

I was just talking to Kathleen and we agreed that it is an amazingly gorgeous day. We both slept late and are determined today to do and get done what we want and to let ourselves just...be...
whatever that means. I was on the phone with her and the last of the Bradford Pear blossoms were drifting down like snow in the sunlight and it was just a goddam blessing to be able to stand here and watch it. A train stopped right behind my house and there was, for a few moments, great noise and disturbance in the atmosphere and then it clanged and blew and pulled away and the silence it has left behind is dense and lovely, filled with wind music played by both branch and chime.

No one needs me today. This day is empty of outside forces which means I can fill it with my own doing which sounds like heaven. A walk, work in the garden. A soup, perhaps, of beans and greens. Yes. Here. I do not have to go anywhere except where my feet may take me.

Tomorrow Owen will be brought to me in the early morning and will stay until early afternoon at which point Freddy and his friend, Vanessa, are coming here with some actors and we shall film here. Here. What kind of crazy good is this? I get to be a grandmother and then an actor and I don't have to leave my property.
Just when I think I have entered a rut and that I can't see my way out of it, the universe delivers delightful alternatives, tasty tidbits of deliciousness.

See? I told you last night that things would be better today.
I was right.

The bat flew away last night through the screen door that I unhooked and flung open. I realize, though, that it did not come in from the dog door as the wrens do. No, it came in through my chimney which means that it will happen again- those bats like to nest in there or whatever it is that they do. But still, bats come and bats fly out if you have the courage to stand and get up and undo the spring and open the door.

Metaphor, not metaphor.

Batshit crazy, batshit wonder, batshit beauty, batshit light filtered through the dogwoods driving me batshit crazy with glory and a round green vase with three camellias and a dogwood branch, Spanish moss trailing off to make it exactly and perfectly perfect.

Here. Which is where I witness, where I live, where I pay attention, where I tend that which has been given to me. It may not be much but it is still, somehow, a fucking miracle and I am sure of that.

9 comments:

  1. your flowers are perfect beauty.
    and so sounds your day.
    free as wild flowers!
    love them.
    love that.
    love
    you!

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  2. Your dogwood blossoms made my day. Thanks for the visuals and the idea of magic coming right to your door. Enjoy your day!

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  3. I love that little green vase. I am glad that you're having a wonderful day.

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  4. gorgeous shot of the flowers.
    i love your bouquets.
    love the batshit writing.
    bats fly in, bats fly out.
    ah.
    they were knocking around in my head all weekend and today they are blissfully gone.
    just sunshine and coffee and a cat at my feet.
    thank you for writing.

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  5. I would have enjoyed watching the blossoms fall in the breeze from your tree. I can see it in my head...

    Enjoy the day, your way....

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  6. Someone once said that love is paying attention. I think so.

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  7. rebecca- Love you, too!

    Mel- It's true, isn't it? Magic comes to my door.

    Elizabeth- I am not even sure it's a vase. Owen calls it a "ball."

    Bethany- Oh, it is so good when the bats take off.

    Ellen- Me too! I can still see it in my head.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- I agree.

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  8. Dear Mary, a day letting yourself just be sounds perfect xx

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  9. I am glad that pesky bat went away. I do like the bats of the evening as long as they stay outside (of my head).

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.