It is so cold and here I am in my new/old cashmere sweater, cozy in the house, drinking coffee and I want to just stay here today but I need to go to town to go to the library and Lily needs to go too so we shall do that, Owen with us, and of course I will enjoy that.
My throat is sore and there is yucky drainage from my sinuses and it IS so cold out and I'd have to wear a bra. A bra. Why? Why can't we just let our breasts be where they want to be and not have to enclose them in unnatural positions to pretend that they are perky and new when in fact, they may not be and so what? I am fifty-six years old and nursed four babies for eons and in MY perfect world, part of your beauty would be judged on how well used your titties had been but I do not live in my perfect world.
Not once I leave the driveway, anyway.
The bananas are frozen and brown and bedraggled and tattered and so are the rooster-tail lilies, the pine cone lilies, the butterfly lilies. I need to cut them back and haul off the old, done brown stalks and I need to clean out the nests in the hen house and so forth.
And write a Christmas letter and start doing Christmas cards and make the white bean venison chili for Mr. Moon's hunting camp pot-luck tomorrow night. Chili is always better on the second day.
And a bra is not required for any of those tasks.
BUT, the library is a must and that is that.
Jessie is driving to Pensacola where she will get a plane and fly to Boulder and so there will be a part of my heart which is in my throat all day long until I hear that she is there safely. That girl. I know she could survive a nuclear holocaust and take care of many children at the same time and somehow manage to make music and make merry and invent fire but when she is driving or flying, she is at the mercy of others and their problems, their lack of attention and I worry.
Well, that is a mother's fate. To spend her life worrying.
I often feel as if every one of my children and my husband and now my grandson are the worry beads I carry around in the pocket of my heart, fingering each one, saying unconscious prayers to the universe to keep them all safe.
We all do this. I know we do.
Well, it's a beautiful day and when I went out to take the picture of the banana I found this
and oh what a small and pure glory- the snow drop. I think. Correct me, please, if I am wrong. It blooms right beside the dead-for-the-winter banana. There you go- death and resurrection five feet from my kitchen.
So there is that and there is this:
My lovely hens with their new feathers and Elvis with his recently refluffed butt, scratching for the corn I've thrown them.
There is the light. There is almost always the light except on the bleakest days and this is not by any means, one of those.
My trees. Well, not my trees. Trees that I am so honored to be able to live with for this time in my life and in theirs.
And after almost seven years, just the sight of my house brings me a sort of joy which I never knew I would find. I think of those years I lived in a very small trailer and dreamed of finding hidden rooms and here I am, in Lloyd in this fine old bones-still-very-strong house and there are rooms to spare and here is one of my favorite
the old original kitchen, another part of the place I live which is joyful lagniappe and yes, dream come true, made real, and no wonder I don't ever want to leave the property, all talk of bras aside.
But Owen and the library call and so it goes and I will leave but I will come back.
I hope you will too.
P.S. I got this poem in my e-mail this morning from The Writer's Almanac and I love it to pieces and so I'll share it with you because I love you too.
Emily Dickinson's To-Do List
Figure out what to wear—white dress?
Put hair in bun
Bake gingerbread for Sue
Peer out window at passersby
White dress? Off-white dress?
Chat with Lavinia
Work in garden
Letter to T.W.H.
White dress or what?
Eavesdrop on visitors from behind door
Try on new white dress
Gardening—watch out for narrow fellows in grass!
Gingerbread, cakes, treats
Poems: Write and hide them
Embroider sash for white dress
Water flowers on windowsill
I was going to ask you if you read the poem!ReplyDelete
and I read the write up below,
mmm.... I mean I guess I forget how most artists are a little odd and all.
I will come back to where you are ALWAYS.ReplyDelete
The poem is nice, but the word "treats" ruined it for me. I hate that goddamn word.
Funny. When young, I couldn't wait until I could finally wear a bra. I was very upset with the bra burning that started up - no way! I just earned my bra! I'm not burning it! And when my body was still attractive - supple and lean, I liked that a bra kept my boobs where they fit the clothes after nursing my babies - twins too! Now that my body is wanting to melt into the floor answering the call of gravity, bras are constricting without doing quite the job they are meant to. Those poor old breasts can no longer be lifted to where the darts on the blouses say they should be no matter how much hardware is in the cups. And I find that I don't really care so much to wear such clothing anyway. Comfort is nice. Braless is nice. I am wearing sports bras a lot now. Keeps the jiggle out without being entirely unnatural. And they are an extra layer of warmth in the cold.ReplyDelete
Stupid ass bras, hate them all...ReplyDelete
Hope your throat feels better soon and that you have a grand day in town.
Wearing no bra is too uncomfortable for moi, and makes me feel horribly vulnerable.ReplyDelete
You know you can get sticky things that you can hoist yourself up with and go braless? That might not be an option for older boobs either, though, as I fear my skin might rip, tbh.
Bra tops or sports bras sound like a better option, alright.
I saw the BEST book for you today. Must send you the link.
The worry-beads-heart-pocket is an image that will stick with me... So very right on.ReplyDelete
I am a bra hater from way back. NEVER wanted to wear on and in the cold weather when I can layer up..I don't. Even at work! Horrors! Who cares? Not me. Don't have one on now, at work..much more confortable. sorry MomReplyDelete
I love that poem. So glad you shared it...and your photos and writing and well, you can come to my library with no bra and we won't care.ReplyDelete
I wish you and Lily and Owen would walk in right now. I would clear all your fines forever and ever.
Enjoy your day.
You know, I don’t even know why I wear a bra every day—at least it is wireless. On weekends I put on just an old, stretchy sports bra type bra—good for a little extra layer. I am always amazed when in the spring those banana tree stumps start to spring green again. Have fun at the library! I go every two weeks and score all the new magazines. Hope you get the call soon from Jessie that she is safe. What a fun time she’ll have. What do you use your kitchen house for now?ReplyDelete
I like to stash things in my bra. LIttle pretty rocks, 4 leafed clovers, treats(!)(I just had to say that, sorry SB).ReplyDelete
This poem inspires me to get my new pen out and start the scribbling.
Thank you for a wonderful post this morning. You have fun in town with your Beloveds!
Great poem. I hate bras too. I'm glad that it is not required clothing. Neither are underwear. There is a line from Jimmy Buffet that is kinda cool--Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear underwear,ReplyDelete
I don't go to church, and I don't cut my hair.
Sums it up for me.
Rack 'em up and Go Forth, Good Woman! (If you must cage them titties before you go out, that is. Maybe just another layer of cashmere would act a camoflauge?)ReplyDelete
Throw some hot lemonade and honey on that sore throat, with a little cayenne for good measure. You have a play to rehearse and they would miss you sorely, to say nothing of your presence being a must for the coming family festivities.
Warm Hugs. N2
Wait! A Christmas letter? I had to check the masthead to make sure I was in the right place. But then again, I imagine that one of your Christmas letters is a galaxy away from the bragathons that my cousin's wife sends out every year.ReplyDelete
I wear one day and night. If I don't wear one I get too excited all day, if you know what I mean.ReplyDelete
I heard that poem on NPR today! Lovely Emily - she had a cousin here in Knoxville whom she used to visit. There's a hill in the woods where I hike overlooking the TN river where she used to watch the river otters. What do you think of the new thought that she might have been epileptic? http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127906938
I dunno. I think people just can't grasp that some people have unworldly genius.
deb- Yes. Artists have been known to be odd for sure.ReplyDelete
Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Ha! I don't especially like it either and only use it (for the most part) in the context of trying to get my dogs inside. "Treats!" I yell and they come running. Except for Pearl, who is deaf. But beloved. Like you.
Jeannie- Even sports bras bug the shit out of me. I just don't like being mushed or squeezed.
I wear those cami things with a shelf bra and even those piss me off.
tiffany- I did. Thank-you! Let's hear it for braless!
Jo- No. Those sticky things do not work on old boobs. And see my response to Jeannie. Yes! Send me the link!
Sally Moon- Yay, you!
Bethany- We had no fines today. Lucky us. That person who was checking out books on my card number still hasn't returned one. I have a note on my file to remind the librarians to ask for a photo ID when checking out books. I asked for that because I don't want a new card. It is mine! You're so sweet.
Michele R- Aren't libraries the best? And bananas are pretty cool too.
Laura- Thank-you, dear. Start scribbling!
Syd- I love Jimmy Buffet. I went through a real phase with him about fifteen years ago. I was telling my daughter May the other day how much I missed him. "But Mama, you can still listen to his music," she said. I told her it had been like an affair and now it was over. But occasionally I do have a little Buffet catch-up party.
N2- Thanks, honey. I feel okay. Just burny-throat drainage. Not too bad.
Jucie- I love Christmas letters! Even the bragathon ones! (Love that word.) But no, mine are not like that. Believe me.
Controlling- I agree with you. Otherworldly genius. Exactly.
I like that picture of the sideways curl of the banana (?) leaves. Very handsome. And in cool weather, how about a down vest? It's a good no-bra disguise out in public.ReplyDelete
I've recently grown to love wearing my bra because it's new. And bright pink.ReplyDelete
And I loved that poem, too, when it appeared in my mailbox as well. Sometimes I wish I could be Emily.
A- I have thought of that- the down vest. Maybe I should go buy one.ReplyDelete
Elizabeth- I have a favorite bra which is years old. It is leopard print with turquoise lace. I save it for very special occasions.
Lisa- I think I missed you. I'm glad you liked that but you know they are also the beads I finger for comfort. Same-same. Completely different.ReplyDelete
Michele R-Sorry. That is my office now. Which I sometimes write in, sometimes do yoga in, always love.
Your comments are a world in themselves. SB made me laugh with "treats" I use that word all the time. She's right though, it's dumb. But then Laura had me laughing even harder, stuffing treats in her bra!ReplyDelete
Love you all!
They did some study that said most women are walking around in the wring size bra. I am a woman and yet I could never remember if the number applies to the cup or the circumference. I didn't really grasp it till I had to buy bras for my daughter and then I figured it out. We do for them what we never bother for ourselves.ReplyDelete
Now Ms. Moon, your trees, They are such majestic trees. Even your frozen banana trees look like rich taffeta in your photograph! I love that photo, also the one of the light falling through the branches. What do I think of your trees? I think you live in such a beautiful place, close to nature. Your house is kissed on all sides by it, and no wonder you don't want to leave it, i would not want to leave it either.
except for young owen, of course. he could make me do anything.
I always love the way you capture light through those old oak trees...ReplyDelete
Bethany- The word "treats" brings to my mind Rice Krispee Treats. Which is not so bad but not great, either. We love you, too!ReplyDelete
Angella- And the best is when they bring Owen to me. He is learning all about trees. That makes me so happy I can hardly stand it.
Leslie- The trees capture the light. I just take the pictures.
I still want to take you bra shopping. You can't have a very good bra. I have some I don't even feel!ReplyDelete