Thursday, December 30, 2010
The tree is naked, I bared its branches yesterday and put the ornaments in their boxes and took down the nativity and put it in a box and trotted everything up the stairs and into the closet in the bedroom which hardly anyone ever sleeps in.
Evil Santa, too, although he is not in a box, but stands at attention in the closet (is he gay when he's in the closet?) and that's a bit of a scary thought.
Not sure where my heart is today. Hanging on the wall with a bear and a star hanging from it, right next to the spices- as good a place as any.
Last night I made The Perfect Supper. I wish I had pictures. I thawed out some snapper that Mr. Moon caught awhile back and I let it rest in some Mojo with the juice of one Clementine and then I ground pecans with Panko and flour and salt and pepper and coated that Mojo'ed snapper and placed the fillets in a pan and adorned them with thin, thin slices of lemon and cut pieces of green onion from the garden and baked it.
It was perfect in all ways.
I made tiny green beans and potatoes, and with bread, that was dinner.
Mr. Moon was so happy. He said, "I will wash every dish in this house for that meal."
We agreed- it was gourmet. And please understand- in my house, gourmet can mean really, really good grits.
I ate some cake leftover from Christmas and it is delicious but I think today I must give it to the chickens along with brownies also leftover from Christmas and it's time to get that stuff out of the kitchen, out of the house, no more in my body. Such sin to waste such food but really- what is it if I eat it and don't need it? Another type of sin.
No. Not sin.
In Spanish, the word sin means without.
Sin sal, I say when I order a margarita in Cozumel. Rocas. On the rocks.
I love the way those words feel in my mouth as much as I love the way the drink tastes.
Margarita, por favor. Sin sal. Rocas.
Here's the funny thing- I can imitate a Spanish accent when I speak Spanish, leading people to believe that I can speak Spanish when really, I can only say things like margarita, please, without salt, on the rocks.
My tongue just knows how to do it. It's like it shifts its position in my mouth to Spanish mode and the words are formed by that and they come out sounding good.
And then the brain curls up and there is no more use for that tongue except for when I say, Gracias, Senor. Muchas gracias.
Sin. Without. I think that is a good definition of sin.
People without clean water or a warm place to sleep or someone to love who loves them.
Without enough food.
Without food for the soul.
That is sin. Maybe. A mortal sin is when the without leads to death. Simple as that.
Death of the body, death of the soul. People can die from lack of love as surely as they can die from lack of food.
Full of withouts. Not to mix my languages, my metaphors or anything.
Boy. I'm fucking cheerful today, aren't I?
Well. Here's Miss Mabel, helping with the cake problem.
Look how lovely she is with her blue-black feathers.
And while I had the camera out, I took some pictures of a tiny woodpecker at the feeder. The birds are swooping in and grabbing a seed, then flying off and letting another bird take its place. Very busy at the feeder this morning.
I should get busy too. Owen is coming today. I will not be without love. Nor will he.
The chickens will not be without cake.
The birds will not be without seed.
The Christmas tree, however, is without ornaments or lights.
My tongue is without need for Spanish.
My heart is not without the knowledge of the blessings of this life.
Trying to keep sin down to a minimum here on this, the second-to-the-last-day of the year in our arbitrary keeping-of-time.
My hands smell of spices from crumbling cake with them. My heart probably smells of blood and is not filled with sin.
Yeah. Something like that.
Vaya con Dios. (I said that out loud as I wrote it and my mouth is smiling.) And oh yes- this- I read in a book by Jimmy Buffet that one New Years he was partying hearty in a country where Spanish is the language and he kept saying what he thought was Happy New Years! but in fact was saying Happy Asshole!
Okay. That made me laugh.
I hope it did you, too.
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Oh, that made me laugh.ReplyDelete
I don't have much to say myself. I DID do some research on the 28 yr old model (was she french?) who died of anorexia. Her death was certainly a sin. A life without. Poor creature.ReplyDelete
I guess I'm a barrel of laughs today too. I have things to do and I am not doing them. That's why I'm discontented at the moment. Let me get to them...
Stephanie- Then I did my job!ReplyDelete
Ms. Trouble- I read about her too. Yes. Perfect example of a death caused by without. Bless her heart.
Well, thank you for the laugh and the kick in the pants to throw out the cookies and brownies and all the unhealthy holiday foods that are making me and my dear husband fatter. Daughter correlates baking with holidays and she has outdone herself this year. Next year I'll plan better to give most of it away, with just a few treats here to tempt us. Your bird photos are lovely. Funny, too, that I can do a convincing Spanish accent too, but have a minimal vocabulary. I wish it weren't so.ReplyDelete
Have a great day with your boys.
I so agree with you... sin = withoutReplyDelete
i really like the honesty and depth of your musings...i will not be without love...what a powerful statement...thanksReplyDelete
i also think you have hit the nail of sin on the proverbial head...
I original meaning of "sin" (in Aramaic or whatever the original language of the bible is) means "to miss the mark" -- how about that?ReplyDelete
good morning my darling...ReplyDelete
i would love to walk beside you down the cobblestones of the mexico we love...
i am smiling here in the mountains of arizona completely snowed in...smiling to think we have found our way to each other..close enough to know the interiors of our hearts.
you warm me from the inside out.
Well, a happy asshole has to be a good thing :)ReplyDelete
Hey mamacita! I'm home sick and making chili in my crockpot. Hug up that Owen for me. Are you making greens and beans on Saturday?ReplyDelete
I had the same thought about the Christmas treats that sit on the butcher block in their containers. Teasing me with the look they give of "just eat one!". Yes, today they leave the kitchen. The tree! Oh I have plans for dismantling it today as well as packing up all the other holiday trimmings.ReplyDelete
Sin..I never knew that definition and thank you for my lesson one of the the day.
My home is quiet...just my son and I. Dear 1st born daughter left last night, 3rd born leaves next week for a new direction in life. 2nd born thankfully will remain in our area. Oh this is the part of the holidays I dread...my family scatters like the cake you fed your dear hens...away away away...and January comes in with weak warmth and little sun...
Gather Owen in your arms and feel the beat of his little heart thumping in time with yours...
Poor guy - we don't have that little accenty thing in English to change the "n" sound. Who knew it would make such a difference?ReplyDelete
I love me a good margarita too.
Happy Asshole to all!ReplyDelete
Well we could all do worse than having a happy asshole in 2011. Just saying.ReplyDelete
Your post made me go look up Vaya Con Dios on YouTube - the Belgian group. I'm listening to it right now. Excellent music!
My most favorite gift to loved ones this year has been the link to your blog. Thank you for making every day better. Happy asshole to you! Here's to ever more happy assholes in the new year.ReplyDelete
Ha! I did laugh.ReplyDelete
I also wanted to tell you that I read aloud to my mother-in-law some things you wrote this week. The many things about the blessings of aging. She had been in a funk about feeling old, and she was glad to hear your words.
Mel- Cake gone! The chickens and squirrels have been working on it all day. And we did have a great day.ReplyDelete
Dianne- Makes sense to me.
jean- I am constantly amazed that anyone at all comes here to read my musings so thank-you. So much.
Elizabeth- Good one! Damn. I sin all the damn time.
rebecca- Yes. Stay cozy, dear one.
Jo- I could not agree more.
DTG- Peas and green and rice and cornbread shall be served. I hope you feel better tonight.
I love you.
Ellen- What sweetness! Thank-you.
Jeannie- I know!
Lisa- I think that's what I'll say tomorrow night. Why not?
Mwa- I had no idea there was a group called that. It just means "go with God" in my experience.
I knew you'd like the happy asshole part.
Jucie- You are my kind of girl. Thank-you!
Lora- Well, aging certainly isn't ALL unicorns and rainbows. Or happy assholes either.
I hope your MIL feels better soon, finds some glitter and it makes me happy that you read my words to her. You are such a dear.
I like the idea of a happy asshole day. Maybe we could start a trend.ReplyDelete
Syd- As Arlo Guthrie said, "It could be a movement!" (ha-ha)ReplyDelete
HA! Happy Asshole to you and yours. Thanks for the giggle:)ReplyDelete
It did make me laugh. Happy asshole to us all!ReplyDelete