Friday, November 6, 2015

A Baby Step Into The Dark

The sun is setting and I have bread rising which is not unusual BUT when the bread is done, I am going to LEAVE LLOYD BY MYSELF AT NIGHT and drive to Lily and Jason's house for supper.
I would be lying like a dog if I didn't admit that I'm more than a teensy bit anxious about this.
This is ridiculous. I could probably make that drive in my sleep. What do I think is going to happen?
Well, truthfully, a deer could run out and hit me. That's happened to a lot of people I know who drive the country roads around here.
But that's not really it at all and the anxiety has no basis in reality. It's more a thing of just not being home when it's dark that disturbs me. I like my walls around me, my silly stuff. My totems- madonnas, mermaids, twinkly lights, old lamps with their cozy glows.
But I want to do this. I want to go to Lily's and eat supper and see my boys.
I had such a good time with Lily and Gibson and Hank and Vergil and Jessie and August today.
August gave me one of his little smiles and my heart broke into a million pieces and scattered the universe with love.
I swear. Did you feel it?

Okay. I can do this. No big deal. The car has headlights. Everything will be here when I get back. I'll get to hang out with Owen and Gibson.

It'll be fun. I know it will be.

And I won't die.

Probably.

Love...Ms. Moon

7 comments:

  1. I do understand this. I do. The only place I like better than my own little nook on my part of the love seat (love couch!) is my bed. Going out when it is dark is just not my thing. I don't really even like going out when it is light out but that is an anxious story for another time.

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  2. You will be fine , you are stronge and wonderful. Xxx

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  3. The cheerful truth is, we might die any day, never mind the nighttime. So may as well do stuff while we wait for the inevitable :)

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  4. i hate leaving home after i get home for the day from work- so much to the point where i would rather do all my errands on one day so i can get home and STAY there during the workweek-

    if we have to leave other to walk the dogs it makes me pissy!

    xxalainaxx

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  5. I know how that is. I don't like to go out much after dark and especially by myself. I know I will have fun if I make myself do it. which is weird because when I was young I went out at night by myself all the time.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.