Friday, November 6, 2015

A Baby Step Into The Dark

The sun is setting and I have bread rising which is not unusual BUT when the bread is done, I am going to LEAVE LLOYD BY MYSELF AT NIGHT and drive to Lily and Jason's house for supper.
I would be lying like a dog if I didn't admit that I'm more than a teensy bit anxious about this.
This is ridiculous. I could probably make that drive in my sleep. What do I think is going to happen?
Well, truthfully, a deer could run out and hit me. That's happened to a lot of people I know who drive the country roads around here.
But that's not really it at all and the anxiety has no basis in reality. It's more a thing of just not being home when it's dark that disturbs me. I like my walls around me, my silly stuff. My totems- madonnas, mermaids, twinkly lights, old lamps with their cozy glows.
But I want to do this. I want to go to Lily's and eat supper and see my boys.
I had such a good time with Lily and Gibson and Hank and Vergil and Jessie and August today.
August gave me one of his little smiles and my heart broke into a million pieces and scattered the universe with love.
I swear. Did you feel it?

Okay. I can do this. No big deal. The car has headlights. Everything will be here when I get back. I'll get to hang out with Owen and Gibson.

It'll be fun. I know it will be.

And I won't die.


Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I do understand this. I do. The only place I like better than my own little nook on my part of the love seat (love couch!) is my bed. Going out when it is dark is just not my thing. I don't really even like going out when it is light out but that is an anxious story for another time.

  2. You will be fine , you are stronge and wonderful. Xxx

  3. The cheerful truth is, we might die any day, never mind the nighttime. So may as well do stuff while we wait for the inevitable :)

  4. i hate leaving home after i get home for the day from work- so much to the point where i would rather do all my errands on one day so i can get home and STAY there during the workweek-

    if we have to leave other to walk the dogs it makes me pissy!


  5. I know how that is. I don't like to go out much after dark and especially by myself. I know I will have fun if I make myself do it. which is weird because when I was young I went out at night by myself all the time.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.