If you look very, very closely, you might be able to see the last remaining live banana spider in my yard that I know of. And even if you can't, the sun coming through the palm frond is pretty, isn't it?
I am agitato today. August's rash is no better and in fact, is worse. The midwife is coming over to check on them soon and I am hoping she has some suggestions as to what should be done. August's doctor does not see patients on weekends although they do have an appointment with her on Monday. It is worrisome. He is eating and sleeping well so it's not bothering him too much but...
It is certainly bothering the rest of us.
I so wish I had more faith in the medical community. They didn't do a swab or culture or anything yesterday in Urgent Care and actually gave two different diagnoses, and I'm not sure either one was correct.
So yes, I am agitated and have been to the post office and mailed off a package that I've been thinking about mailing for about a year and so that, at least, feels good. I have a slight mail-neurosis, even with the incredibly friendly Lloyd post master and the complete and utter ease of it all. I have no idea what the roots of this little problem are but so it is.
The garden looks so lovely. You know I love it best when it looks like this.
That is one of Mr. Moon's rows. You can tell because it's straight as a stick. Mine are far less orderly and tend to be straight as a snake. I've watered this morning and I'm going to stay in Lloyd today. I need to sweep porches and rooms and perhaps even mop the kitchen. I could probably grow a garden in there. So much dirt was tracked in when it was raining so much. I need to refill chicken waterers and I could spend all day long raking leaves to mulch the garden if I so desired.
And what am I doing? Looking to the internet for inspiration, for answers. What a joke. I just read a post shared on FB that says if I spend thirty minutes cleaning my toilet my life will change.
This could be true but I'm not sure the change it brings is one that I really care about.
And that would seem to be the truest and best plan for my day.
Just to pray as I sweep and mop and water and watch the leaves fall from the trees and the way the light shifts and think about my children and my grandchildren and hope all good things for them forever and ever and contemplate the changing of the season, watch the chickens as they move about the yard, be aware of the last living spiders, drink clear cool water, make the bed, listen to the birds and also the trains, collect the eggs and notice how fine they feel in my palm, sit down to read, every motion and thought a prayer of mindfulness, or at least as close as I can come to that and maybe even my agitation, my anxiety, can be a sort of prayer as well, to say and feel it, to let it go, given over as you might give over a package to the very nice post master, trusting that it will go where it is supposed to, that the intent will be result, but letting go of even that, and going on.