Saturday, October 10, 2015

Plan For A Day

If you look very, very closely, you might be able to see the last remaining live banana spider in my yard that I know of. And even if you can't, the sun coming through the palm frond is pretty, isn't it?

I am agitato today. August's rash is no better and in fact, is worse. The midwife is coming over to check on them soon and I am hoping she has some suggestions as to what should be done. August's doctor does not see patients on weekends although they do have an appointment with her on Monday. It is worrisome. He is eating and sleeping well so it's not bothering him too much but...
It is certainly bothering the rest of us.
I so wish I had more faith in the medical community. They didn't do a swab or culture or anything yesterday in Urgent Care and actually gave two different diagnoses, and I'm not sure either one was correct.

So yes, I am agitated and have been to the post office and mailed off a package that I've been thinking about mailing for about a year and so that, at least, feels good. I have a slight mail-neurosis, even with the incredibly friendly Lloyd post master and the complete and utter ease of it all. I have no idea what the roots of this little problem are but so it is.

The garden looks so lovely. You know I love it best when it looks like this.

That is one of Mr. Moon's rows. You can tell because it's straight as a stick. Mine are far less orderly and tend to be straight as a snake. I've watered this morning and I'm going to stay in Lloyd today. I need to sweep porches and rooms and perhaps even mop the kitchen. I could probably grow a garden in there. So much dirt was tracked in when it was raining so much. I need to refill chicken waterers and I could spend all day long raking leaves to mulch the garden if I so desired. 
And what am I doing? Looking to the internet for inspiration, for answers. What a joke. I just read a post shared on FB that says if I spend thirty minutes cleaning my toilet my life will change. 
This could be true but I'm not sure the change it brings is one that I really care about. 

And that would seem to be the truest and best plan for my day. 
Just to pray as I sweep and mop and water and watch the leaves fall from the trees and the way the light shifts and think about my children and my grandchildren and hope all good things for them forever and ever and contemplate the changing of the season, watch the chickens as they move about the yard, be aware of the last living spiders, drink clear cool water, make the bed, listen to the birds and also the trains, collect the eggs and notice how fine they feel in my palm, sit down to read, every motion and thought a prayer of mindfulness, or at least as close as I can come to that and maybe even my agitation, my anxiety, can be a sort of prayer as well, to say and feel it, to let it go, given over as you might give over a package to the very nice post master, trusting that it will go where it is supposed to, that the intent will be result, but letting go of even that, and going on.


  1. What a beautiful poem that Elizabeth posted. Thanks for providing the link. It does give a different perspective, does it not?

  2. Since I'm not a doctor, I feel qualified to ask this question: Isn't impetigo contagious? As in Prince August would have been exposed to get it? I know there's such a thing as baby acne, but the little feller's case seems more severe. I just don't get the impetigo diagnosis....which is why MY office (my deck) isn't closed today. Plus I'm doing laundry, I've got a pot of veggie soup simmering, and I've been taking pics of purdy jewelry for my friend so she can sell it. Life in Illinois is good....but I'll feel better in 20 days, when I arrive on the Gulf Coast of your fair state.

  3. I don't know thing about babies, really, so I'm not going to speculate on the rash, but if the doctors aren't freaked out that's a good sign. God knows they're fallible but they seem to know something more often than not. Keep us posted.

    I'm glad you met your neighbor. He sounds like a good type to have next door and I'm glad he's saving some bamboo.

    Oh, and I love your post about John Lennon. I didn't realize it was his birthday. The Beatles worked so well because they were yin and yang internally, but yeah, in the end, I think John felt pretty stifled and sort of went on his own self-destructive path for a while. I love "Double Fantasy" except for the Yoko songs. I just can't do them.

  4. Of course we can't know - I wish the doctors did!

    Perhaps he is just clearing something he doesn't like from his system. Maybe he doesn't like dairy or something and Jessie should try eliminating things one at a time and see if there's a change? Maybe they should change to a sensitive washing powder? Did anyone who suffers cold sores hold him? I see that in the news a bit.

    I think it's unlikely it's an infection, given that he was born at home with antibodies to all the home things around.

    Wishing you peace from worry!

  5. Impetigo is serious stuff. I hope it's something that is less complex. I am glad that August seems ok/not suffering. I think he needs his Mer still tho...

  6. Another beautiful post . I do hope August's rash ceases. We are so protective of our babies and it is deeply unsettling if anything, no matter how mild , affects them. srnding a big hug to you . Hope your little man recovers quickly from this rash. X

  7. Jenny_o- Yes. It does. A beautiful perspective.

    Catrina- You know as much as the doctors seem to. Sigh.

    Steve Reed- I have always loved Yoko. I can't help it. I'm a woman. Kiss, kiss, kiss me love...
    Ah. And the whole album was as much hers as his. I have never understood why people have such a problem with the woman John loved so much. No. She is not Joni Mitchell but she is who she is.
    Just one kiss, kiss will do...

    Jo- The mystery continues...

    Joanne- I think I need him as much or more than he needs me.

    Leisha- Thank you for those words. And for being here.

  8. How? How will my life change if I spend 30 minutes cleaning my toilet. How? As a person with depression I am willing to try almost anything but I feel like someone is trying to put something over on me. However, my daughter could spend 30 minutes cleaning her downstairs toilet and it might just get it clean.

    I feel bad for Jessie. It is so hard being a new mom and everyone wants to help but it often just makes the new mom feel more help-less. Sometimes you try everything and still nothing helps. When my daughter was a baby she had R.S.V. and was so sick. Everyone offered advice and made "suggestions" on how I could better care for her. I (as Jessie is) was more than intelligent to work through it on my own but the constant suggestions just made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

    I love Elizabeth's poem. I am glad I got new ink for my printer because I am going to print it out.

  9. I don't mind Yoko as a person at all. I think she's interesting and quite a brilliant artist in her avant-garde way. And I think she and John made a fabulous couple. I've just always found her music to be a bit challenging -- but you're right, the whole point of Double Fantasy is that it's an equally shared album. (Now that you write "Kiss kiss kiss kiss me love," I remember the tune, and it's been YEARS since I've heard it or any of her other songs. Maybe I should try them again?)

  10. Is she using nipple cream? Maybe it's a reaction to something like that. Lotion, detergent, fabric softener, perfume. Skin stuff is SO tricky! My little DT has had the most sensitive skin I've ever seen in my life! He'd often have rashes and flakes as a small baby. Be patient. The dermatologist will figure it out.

  11. Birdie- Yes! And it is such human nature to want to step in and make suggestions to fix things but often, that is really insulting to the one we're trying to help. Unintended but still...
    Isn't that a beautiful poem? I love Ellen Bass.

    Steve Reed- It's okay. Her voice annoys a lot of people. I'm glad it doesn't annoy me.

    Heartinhand- Nah. And they've gone over all of that. It's not a contact reaction.


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