I'm back in the I-don't-understand-this-world state of mind.
Oh, hell. I'm just tired and my joints hurt and I probably need to eat some kale or drink some green tea or do some yoga or something.
But no, I'll just go to bed and as always, accept and welcome the ecstasy that brings me, the lying down on the very comfortable bed, the clean sheets enveloping me, my light, my book, maybe my cat eventually sometime in the night, same with my husband who is back out in the garage working on deer blinds.
The appointment went quite well. We saw the nurse practitioner because otherwise we would have been waiting for hours and all the labs were pretty darn good. My husband is a healthy man and thank god for that, except of course, for this muscle and nerve loss.
They think is probably a genetic neuromuscular thing which is not uncommon and it's not going to kill him or even shorten his life and so hurray and hurrah and we shall be going to the geneticist soon to get that confirmed and yes, I am so glad that this is "all" it is and he is vastly relieved and yes, is out in that garage, building things with wood and saws and hammers and nails and so why am I sitting here falling apart and weeping a bit?
Just tired. Truly just tired. Relief is in there too. And of course, a bit of the crash.
I spent twenty minutes of my day waiting to talk to someone from our internet service provider who, when I finally got him on the phone and explained my problem (our router is very old and we need a new one), suggested that because the service provider no longer provides routers as part of their service but, instead, RENTS them by the month (as a part of their service, obviously) we might just want to go to Walmart or Best Buy and purchase a new one for $55 which is a bargain, really, when you compare it to the rental fee.
Thank you, Mr. Tech support. SIR! For that fucking great helpful advice.
Here's another thing that happened today:
I went to pick up Owen at school and when he got in the car he said, "Mer, I have good news and bad news."
"What's the bad news?" I asked him.
"I got a crayon stuck in my ear today."
"Oh no! Well, what's the good news?" And of course I thought the good news would be that he got the crayon out of his ear but no.
"Well, actually, there is no good news," he said.
"It's still in there?"
"Does it hurt?"
"Only when I try to get it out."
"Did you tell your teacher?"
"What color was it?"
And then I had to drop the boys off with their mother and race to the appointment and Lily texted me that they were in Urgent Care and they did eventually get the crayon (just a tip) out of his ear and it was up tight next to his ear drum and BOYS! Well, I know girls do things like this too but it seems to me that boys are far more apt to be sticking things into head-orifices where they do not belong. Remember when Gibson stuck a peanut up his nose and even the doctor couldn't find it and he sneezed it out about three months later and it was green? He even suggested that Owen sneeze the crayon out but I tried to explain it wouldn't work that way with ears.
Owen and I had a long discussion on the phone after we all got out of our various doctors' offices about how humans are just very curious creatures and unfortunately, we often learn what not to do by doing things and then finding out it was not a good idea.
Whereupon we learn in a way in which we do not forget and that's just part of being human.
He understood. And hopefully, he will remember. At least not to stick a crayon tip in his ear.
All right. One more thing. The reason I WILL be getting Netflix post haste.
Oh Keith! My spirit totem animal.
"You're never grown up," he says at the end of this little trailer.
He's right, you know. We aren't. Not really. We just pile up a hell of a lot of experiences, some of which we learn from, some of which we never learn a damn thing from.
And some of them are mighty fine.
Let's all sleep real well tonight, okay?