I just called the NP's office and guess what?
They did respond to my email yesterday by calling the pharmacist where I get my hormones refilled and simply refilled them for five more months.
Okay. Now I can collapse. It would have been mighty nice if they'd told ME about this but what can you expect?
I have been going over my childhood to try and figure out what in the world caused this horrible and illogical fear of doctors I have. We had a very nice pediatrician who actually dated my mother for a short while. I know that at one point when I got what I remember as a "flu shot" but which may have been any kind of immunization, it took three people to hold me down to get it.
Yeah. That was bad.
But there has to be more.
And there is something I remember but I don't remember all of it which I find odd. And somehow it all has to do with shame and helplessness and all that murky stuff that gets stuffed back into the darkest recesses of the mind but which can poison everything for life.
Well, anyway, time for the crash. The amount of adrenalin in my body is not going to go quietly.
Thank you so for putting up with my own (not very) unique brand of insanity. It helps to talk about it more than I can say. And I will also say that at least having this form of insanity makes me so much more compassionate for others who have their own kinds which, on the surface, may appear to be ridiculous, but which I know has nothing to do with that part which shows.