Wednesday, September 23, 2015
I Wish My Heart Was As Strong As His
I picked up Mr. Moon at noon and we went to the hospital where his test was to be done in the cardiac unit and that's the machine that was in the waiting room. Do you see what it says?
"Did you opt healthy?"
The only fucking way to opt healthy with that machine would be to not get anything out of it. Oh sure. A Nutra-Grain bar is probably a better choice than a bag of Skittles but I'm not certain about that.
(I got some honey-mustard-onion pretzels. They were great.)
The test went fine. I gather that if there's a real problem, they bring in a cardiologist right away but the tech said that wasn't necessary and we'd get results in a day or two. I watched the screen for awhile, the valves of my husband's heart, squeezing and releasing, the hypnotic sounds, the EKG patterns tracing across the bottom and I couldn't bear it and had to start reading some short stories instead.
My husband's heart which is so huge and mysterious and which I have pinned my life to for so many years and which beats so slowly and steadily and strongly. I could not stand to see it there in grainy black and white, I could not.
Lily and Jason and Owen and Gibson are spending the night tonight at their new house.
Sweet dreams and great peace to all of us.