Sunday, March 15, 2015

I Don't Know Shit, Volume Ten Thousand


I just do not know why some days I wake up and my stomach feels as if I'm about to go onstage or have a doctor's appointment or have heard some distressing news or, or, or...
Knotted and tense and yet here it is, a beautiful day in spring, nothing overly disturbing going on in my world, just blooms and birdsong. Mr. Moon was off before I got up to go to town and work in the duplex we own, getting it ready to rent. He works so hard.

I should go take a walk, see if I can work some of this anxiety out of me, shake it off, let it go. Come home, do some cleaning. I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know, I do not know.
I don't know shit.

I wonder if I have any adrenal function at all at this point. Whatever regulates it is fucked beyond.
I'm pretty sure about that.



10 comments:

  1. Watch out for those first-awake thoughts. Sometimes I wake up with a yawning pit of dread in my stomach, and like you, have a completely innocuous day ahead.

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  2. One glorious day and now we are back to overcast. shit.

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  3. Try to stay out of your head today and get into your body. Move it. Clean. Dance. Walk. Bake. Cook. Chase a chicken. Do what you need to do to stay out of your thoughts. Distraction is the best.
    Big hugs to you.

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  4. Crappy. I hope the activity helps you.

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  5. And your title made me smile. A sense of humour is necessary, is it not?

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  6. I think Heartinhand's advice is good, as is your plan to take a walk. Hope it works! I've had these sneaky episodes of dread now and then, for no apparent reason -- it's very strange.

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  7. Marty- Oh. I know. I do.

    Ellen Abbott- The sun can't make up its mind here. It comes out, it goes in. I'm sorry you've had such shit weather this year.

    Heartinhand- Am doing. I promise.

    Jenny_o- I would not mind if they put on my gravestone, "She did not know shit."
    Of course, since I'm to be cremated, there will be no gravestone.

    Steve Reed- Took a walk. Not like one of yours! But a pretty good one for me.

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  8. You know -- you are right, as are the other commenters here. Enough with the staying in the head and mulling (I'm talking to myself). Enough. I need to MOOOOOOVE.

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  9. I feel pretty convinced that these things come from a complex combination of mineral and vitamin lack or imbalances. But finding out what those might be and implementing a programme that works is an enormous challenge. One I have neither the cash nor the energy for.

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  10. Hope the tension eases into a happy state of bliss. I don't like the downers out of the blue either.

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