Thursday, August 11, 2011

What I Am Doing Today

Nothing. Not a thing until it is time to go and take care of Owen.
Okay. I made a breakfast, I ate it, I washed the dishes.
I do not want to sweat today. I do not want to beat myself up today. I do not want to add one tiny shred of guilt or bother or worry to my soul and I do not want to make my body do anything it does not want to do.
My soul and my body both need rest. I don't care what anyone says. I have tried to work this shit out with work and with teeth-gnashing and I'm done with that for now.

Time to just be loving to myself. Time to treat myself the way I would treat someone else.

Here is what my brother wrote to me last night:

Take 48 hours of doing nothing but feeling you have absolutely no obligations to this world And if a smile and laugh approaches....thank the universe. thats the natural way

I love him for that. I am going to listen to him.

16 comments:

  1. That's great! Why would you need to make excuses for it?

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  2. Wise brother. And being around that boy will be it's own kind of healing!

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  3. Kava! baby, get you some!

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  4. Yes, yes and YES!

    It is not only OK to do nothing (except what you really want to do)....it is necessary. Tell your guilt to fuck off. Turn off the "do-good" machine.

    Just let yourself be.

    You deserve it.

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  5. "Time to treat myself the way I would treat someone else." Ah, self-care at its finest. You DO deserve that. Kudos to you for recognizing it and listening to your body. Lord knows that isn't always easy to do.

    I hope your down time leaves your body, mind and soul feeling fresh and free.

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  6. Now that is excellent!!! You go and enjoy that to bits! x

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  7. Exactement. For some odd reason, I'm slipping into college French today. I had to restrain myself from titling my post today "The State of Affairs: Chez Nous" -- I hate French, too.

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  8. Today I made plum jam.....delicious if a little heavy set....it made the flat smell great too....the best thing I've ever done for my depression is see a homeopath. I take stuff now and then, when i feel I need to, if I remember....if I forget means I don't need it....don't know what I take but it seems to work....have not hit the bottom in the last 6 years!!

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  9. I think I will listen to your brother too.

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  10. I think those are sage words, and you certainly deserve the break!
    xo

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  11. I need pot roast help, please...check your email.

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  12. I hope someone cooks dinner for you is what I hope.
    love,
    R

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  13. I agree with your brother. I am doing nothing until Sunday when I come back to land and clean up the boat.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.